Made the 'first move', now what?

[dragonflyflew]

Hey, please advise, I think I know the answer anyway...
I had seen someone out and about who I liked the look of.
He 'popped up' on FB as 'people you might know', so (in a fit of madness) I sent a friend request.
He accepted my request and I sent a message explaining I'd seen him in his band and then he popped up, mutual friends etc, he sent a lovely message back, quite vague, nice to meet, sure I'll see you around you kind of thing , which I took as a brush off a(fair enough) then I left it there.
A couple of weeks later he sent me a message which was purely an invitation to an event I was already attending. I thanked him and said I'll see him there.
He responded enthusiastically.
It was a family event and I attended with my children, lots of our friends there.
He saw me and came over and was friendly, we chatted briefly, keenly observed by my friend. I felt self conscious and a bit embarrassed but he was giving me lots of lovely eye contact and my friend asked who he was and said she thinks he's interested.
we met up several times throughout the day and he was lovely, friendly and I was the same, chilled and friendly...
I left early due to my kids and that's it. The full story!
So....
Common sense tells me that I should just leave 'it' now and see what happens, whether he contacts me or not.
I'd toyed with the idea of sending an 'it was nice to meet you' message but as I made the first contact I think it could come across as a bit desperate.
We're in our forties despite me sounding like a kid...
Any advice please?

I encouraged a friend of mine to send a message to a guy she likes on Saturday night (they have chatted briefly, friends on facebook). She had had a few drinks so she sent a casual "was nice to see you the other day, if you would like a coffee sometime here is my number".

They chatted on and off all day, and he asked her for dinner last night. He who dares, wins......

PS. Still waiting for an update from her!! She is super shy by the way but powered by Cocktails she was brave.

Just do it, otherwise you'll spend god knows how many days toying with the idea. And even if he 'rejects' the offer, who cares?! Both big and old enough to know not to take it to heart. Good luck!!!

Just bloody do it!!
Literally what the fuck have you got to lose. If he’s not available then that’s ok it’s not an affront
If he’s not interested then that’s normal it’s not an affront

oh just do it OP! the worst that can happen is he says no, it isn't the end of the world!

Have you asked him yet???! Go on go on go on go on!!!

“Just ask him out on a proper date already! Or perhaps to your house for dinner. Life is too short and you are far too old to worry like a silly school girl.”

Do NOT ask a bloke you don’t know round to your house for dinner fgs

Ask him out if you want tho, agree with that part

Don't worry I don't invite anyone round to dinner!!!
I haven't done anything yet, been working all day...now everything else to do.

#scarebear

Don’t procrastinate... it’s not gonna get easier... just do it!

I get that the possibility of rejection is scary, but guys have been dealing with it all of their lives, so we can too. And by taking the risk you can shape where your life is going rather than passively hoping you get what you want.

Do it.

Definitely say something. You've nothing to lose. I also left it too late to say anything and he found someone else by the time I did. Life is short!

The deed is done. And now we wait.

shitwithsugaron how was your first date tonight?
Really hope it went well x

Thank you everyone for encouraging me to take the leap.

🤗 well done! It's nerve wracking waiting..Hopefully it's positive... but if not don't feel silly for asking as you needed to know one way or the other 🤞

Well done!

What did you say?!

Whooop!

I'm so proud of you! 🙅

Thank you!
It was a very, very innocuous message, I sent one yesterday just reiterating that it was nice to meet him ( weak I know but I didn’t feel confident going straight into it. He responded ‘it was lovely to meet you too and your little family; have a good day {kiss emoji} ‘
so my reply tonight was pretty much ‘let me know if you’re free and fancy meeting for a drink (without my little family)’.
Boring I know but I didn’t want to overdo it with waffle or trying to be funny or clever ( both of which I am of course).
I just wanted to get it out there, over and done with like ripping off a plaster. Who said romance is dead hey?!
I really appreciate everyone’s input and encouragement.
Even if it’s a no, I’ve put myself out there, I’m chuffed it’s done and is a good feeling to do something proactive as life has generally been hard for the last decade, I was slipping into very low mood so now need lots of positive reminders of what a strong person I can be!

Sounds perfect

Awww MissConductUS thank you 😊
I have no family around so it’s rare to have anybody say they’re proud of me.
Warm fuzzies from you lovely interweb wimminz 😁😁😁

In the voice of Cartman: I love you guys.

Ooh, dragon - go you, girlfriend! That is just just brilliant.

Awww MissConductUS thank you

You are most welcome beautiful! And I like how you worded things in your messages.

I messaged I guy I fancied on match.com ages once ages ago. Match was so new at the time it was still free and there was no way to upload pictures, which was okay because no one had digital cameras. My best friend told me I was daft, was going to look like I was desperate, etc. He messaged me back and we went out.

Our DS is off to uni this fall, with DD two year behind him. He's a lovely husband and wonderful father.

Dreams can come true. She who dares wins.

Yes at least you know now. With blokes I’ve had crushes on it’s always the wondering ‘what if’ that’s the worst. At least you will know now.

Everything crossed for you op

Well done, hope it goes well. Message sounds perfect.