Is he 'needy' or am I running scared?

[ChaffyMcChaff]

Hi, I'm prepared to be told 'it's me' so please be honest so I can try to see this objectively!

For background, and it could be relevant, I've been divorced for 16 years and single ever since. I've had dates but nothing more than that. I'm in my 40s.

I met a guy a few weeks ago, who is separated and has not yet started divorce proceedings. He has been separated for 12 months. His ex still lives in their marital home, he lives in a flat, they have no children. I have adult children and grandchildren and we are all very close. (Not wanting to drip feed so giving this information)

First few dates, goes well...lots of fun and lots to chat about. Since then he's been racking up the texts, always wanting to chat on the phone, SO many superlatives to describe me...think 'baby', 'hun' (which I detest btw!), 'darling', 'gorgeous' and many, many more. I'm just not that demonstrative and can't do likewise (I don't think I could be like this in a long time committed relationship, never mind one of just a few weeks!).

The texts are usually followed by soppy/romantic memes to tell me he misses me, is thinking about me etc. Again, I've never followed suit. There is a definite mismatch in our communication style if nothing else! I would pick-up on this very quickly if it was me, and change my style...he hasn't picked up on this at all. It feels suffocating to me. I don't want to chat on the phone 3 times a day, or send/reply to many, many text messages.

I don't have the energy or time for this...at the end of a busy day I am fit for nothing but binge watching You, Me, Her! Or sleeping! He works only around 5 hours a day...own business... sometimes less. I work 12 hour days and am knackered by the time I'm finished!

He gets upset (puppy dog upset, not angry upset) if I say I'm not available to chat, and if I'm going out with friends, will ask me to ring him when I get home...regardless what time this might be...I just don't want to do this (so don't, but then get 'I'm worried about you, have you got home safely? Are you ok?' messages!)

Is it me? Am I so far out of touch with dating that I've just forgotten how to do it...is this how dating is done now?

dodged a bullet there.

Bloody well done!

A good friend of mine loves all that kind of attention from men she starts dating and starts getting weird and paranoid if her texts aren't answered within the hour etc....

I drives me demented however. She finds its hard to believe that the Oh and I do not ring and txt each other every day.... Horses for courses I suppose. That constant messaging though... How the hell are you supposed to get anything done ffs.. 😂

@chatty. This guy needs to learn some social skills.. you're his world in such a very short time? He sounds like he doesn't have an awful lot going on in his life. It makes my skin crawl too. He's the type that would become a stalker...