So, yesterday I met a prostitute...

[loveka]

In strange circumstances which are not relevent, but she was just a normal.woman, with 2 primary age children, works from home while they are at school. She said there is nothing she could earn so much from. I would never have guessed until she told me.

I just thought of all the women I read on here who find out their husbands have been paying prostitutes. She said nearly all her clients are married, They either have fetishes they don't want to tell their wives about or aren't getting sex at home.

I just thought, bloody hell, this must go on way more than most women imagine.

I am sorry but I do feel sorry for her children. I don’t care if that is judgy.

Why do you feel sorry for her children?

To be honest at least she's choosing to do this herself rather than being forced into the sex trade like so many other poor adults and children - she's doing the best to provide
For her family by taping into a business with ever lasting clientele - not my idea of a good career but each to their own.
Shame she's had to resort to it though

Why do you feel sorry for her children?
If you have to ask...

I cant imagine having to pretend I was into a particular kink or fetish just to indulge some selfish, entitled man for money.

I know this is going to sound judgy, but women who choose prostitution, who set themselves up working from home and ave their own clients, how do they subvert the revulsion of having to have sex with someone they don’t find sexually attractive? Especially if there are fetishes involved that they wouldn’t normally be in to?

The disconnect between mind and body must have to be huge.

I would be interested in the answer.

Why are you sorry for her children?

Because she has sex?

I feel sorry for her children because if their friends discover their mother’s profession then they will have to face the questions/reactions/prejudice.

So really it is other people’s reactions to the work not the work itself that is the problem.

If other people’s reactions weren’t almost guaranteed to be negative then the work wouldn’t be a problem? It’s because they are that it is

I don’t even understand your point

Well she’s not exactly just a normal woman living a normal life, is she?

She isn’t? What’s normal?

I guess normal is not having to hide what you do for a living,

She's not hiding if she's told OP what she does?

Honestly - some of you people really need to do your research and remove your self entitled opinions.

She sounds like a professional escort who probably has a cleaner house than some of us and her children are probably sound and confident. I assume that it's not her chosen career - perhaps she is a graduate and has formally had a 'professional' job but being a single parent is extremely difficult and sometimes what works for someone doesn't work for others.

I think the real underlying tone of this thread is fetish and married men god forbid that one of your husbands was seeing her.

And yes - exactly what is normal !!?? Hilarious !

Well actually my husband was seeing escorts , it destroyed our marriage and our children’s lives.

Forgive me but I don’t ever see prostitution as a career and there are absolutely always other jobs. This woman is in the minority of prostitutes who chose their path and are happy in it. Trafficking is a massive issue and far too often prostitution is tantamount to modern day slavery. Normalising it really doesn’t help in any way.

It's not normal and it IS seedy no matter what the circumstances.

And to the small amount of mythical happy prostitutes who ARE happy and do it as a CHOICE- I would say go and get a normal fucking job instead of promoting an industry which centres around the abuse and exploitation of thousands of vulnerable women.

I was a prostitute for 12 years and worked from my own home (although didn’t have a partner or children).
You only need to go onto adultwork to see that there are literally millions of profiles of prostitutes and webcammers there (and hundreds of thousands of those are UK based, and most of them work from their own homes). It’s far more common than a lot of people realise, what with so many getting into debt and needing a quick way to get out of it.
I personally wouldn’t recommend the profession as it comes with a lot of downsides that over time will chip away at mental health.

Namechanged, that is something that has always intrigued me, the effects on mental health. I have read posts by a couple of ex prodtitutes claiming that it doesn’t have any ill effects if it is a choice. I guess maybe the effects can take time sometimes?

@newerversion it can be a very isolating existence as a lot of prostitutes won’t tell anyone what they are doing and will have to live a double life around friends/family.
You also have to spend a lot of time alone sitting at home waiting for bookings to come in. It’s so easy to become depressed and live like a hermit.
And also the obvious issues of having to deal with awful men isn’t going to be great for mental health. A lot of the clients were lovely, but there was also a lot of timewasters, disrespectful idiots, men with terrible hygiene and men who thought it was ok to be rough and aggressive.
If someone is choosing to do it as a career then I would strongly advise creating a get out plan for further down the line as you will more than likely burn out from it. It also makes things like getting into a relationship, having kids etc very complicated

I hadn’t even thought of the isolation aspect, more the impact of disrespect truly men. Thank you for answering my question I really appreciate it. I have been looking into a small charity that is near to me who help girls to exit prostitution. I was hoping I could help in some way - raising funds or something. I feel like it would help to make up for my ex’s blatant disregard for the impact on these girls.

New, it was women like you I thought of when this woman told me what she did.

Your marriage was destroyed by this- mine would be too. And she just seemed accepting that men want to do this. As someone before said, it is just to have an orgasm.

My image of prostitution is seedy. But she was in a rural idyllic location, in a stunning house. Also, not a young girl by any means.

She really did seem this was her choice. I do think this is rare though.

Her children seemed lovely. Pretty sure they don't know, as they were too young really.

I guess I feel a bit confused by it. I don't approve of what she does. It just made me realise how common this must be, and that worried me about men generally.

The only problem I have with prostitution is the safety and consent of the women. I have no moral or ethical problem with it other than that.

I've read that puntng forum and so many men cover their tracks well, it makes me wonder how many women are posting on here who think they have a solid marriage but their husbands are using prostitutes. It's all so shit.

Loveka, my view of men has certainly changed a lot through all of this. For me it was a realisation of the enormity of the sex trade and the type of men who pay for sex. I guess I just never thought of it being so common. I have had to work loads on my new trust issues and honestly have to pull myself up short when I am with men I know as I find myself wondering if they are like my ex. That is my issue though and I really need to stop projecting, I realise this.
It isn’t ever ‘good’ men or ‘good husbands’ who are involved- just liars and selfish arseholes.
I beat no malice to those who choose to become prostitutes, for whatever reason but I do wish they would find another route to make money- for them and their families.

Thestoic- also the safety of the unknowing wives/partners who are put at risk.

@newerversion it was shocking the amount of clients who would ask for unprotected sex (which I never did). A lot of them were married and seemed to not give a toss about the fact they could pass STDs onto their partners. I definitely have little trust in men now (some might say that’s my karma for having being a prostitute).