I've been married for 18 years to a man who simply won't share, he doesn't like sharing finances with me. It's got to a point now where I'm regretting having stuck it out for so long. But it would seem impossible to find independence now after all these years of being nothing more than a housewife. My husband has never been happy for me to find work, I had job offers when my children were little but my husband made it difficult for me to accept the jobs. He refused to pay nursery fees etc. He will never willingly give me money, if I need a small contribution for my child's school trip I have to ask, and ask and keep on asking until finally he'll leave me the cash to the nearest penny. He won't leave me house keeping money, however, unbeknown to him, his partial card details are left on my Sainsbury's grocery account, after I badgered him one time to pay for a Christmas grocery delivery. Anyway, since then I've been placing regular online shopping orders. He must think I've been using my £34 pw child benefits to stock the freezer, lol. It's really upsetting though as now my daughter is 18 and works part time in between her sixth form studies, she pays for everything herself, but she gets so upset because her earnings are simply not enough to cover all her expenses. If she needs essentials, such as underwear, then Dad has to accompany her to the store and right up to the counter to pay for them, he would never give any of us actual cash to have some dignity at the checkout. He has complained ever since we've been together about how tight his finances are, the only thing that seems to matter to him is his bank balance. He even keeps all his bank details, debit cards, financial documents locked away in a briefcase, which I know is hidden away at the back of the pantry. He is utterly controlling. He is on £35k a year, so not a bad income for a family with two children, but now we're in private rented house I know it's not enough to cover the extortionate rent, so I get it in the neck, he puts pressure on me to agree to move out to a cheaper part of the UK so he can afford to buy a house. We've been used to living in newbuilds over the years, but he had a habit of moving us out every two years, selling up and buying lower priced homes in order to make money all the time. Last house he sold last Christmas but couldn't afford to buy in current area, so we live in rented close to my 8 year old's primary school. But now he wants to move us to one of the most deprived areas of Wales, which would suit his bank account, even though an hour drive to his place of work, but the primary schools are really not looking good. My 8 year old has additional educational learning needs, so I'm apprehensive of moving her to another school that doesn't have a good record of performance, many schools were marked down as inadequate on the OFSTED reports. Tbh, in an ideal world I would be bringing my children up on my own, but with mo independence, no work record, no friend, no work references or personal references, not to mention no money, there's just no hope of finding my feet. I've literally been relying on my robotic cold hearted tight fisted husband for years, and now I feel there's just no way out. I sometimes wish, as bad as it sounds, that one day he might not come home from work so finally I'll be on my own with my children, and cat and dog. I've spoken to the women's aid helpline over the years, but other than advising me to go homeless and start again on benefits there's not much help in offer. Besides, I couldn't move my kids into a single room in a shared women's refuge, not after all these years of having had their own bedrooms and living in comfortable areas. And the thought of leaving our pets and furniture personal belongings behind, all we've had to speak of for all the years I've stuck it out with a controlling husband, to give it all up, for a room in a shared house with God knows who, in God knows where. That's what I'd be left with after 18 years of marriage. I don't drive, never had the cash to take enough lessons to get to test level, I did begin taking lessons in secret when my husband was at work, but I ran out of money and the lessons had to stop. With no money I could never afford a car anyway. The rent on our current home is a staggering £1400 pcm, so no hope of me being able to manage this place on my own. I feel so trapped no hope of ever being free from my controlling husband.