Dinner and husbond

[NeedDrink]

Ladies, I put this in relationships - but really need to know if I am being unfair in my relationship.
Facts - I have a son - 15, with special needs, ADHD, just came home from Venedig yesterday. I have a Daughter, 10, who have a friend here for a holiday. I have a husbond, been together 9 years.
We all had dinner this evening. Having fun, kids laughing, being silly. (They usually fight, but this summer they have been a miracle with eachother)
My son made a farting sound with his mouth, making the girls laugh so much. Husbond pointed that he didnt want that. Son couldnt help himself but laughing - which made my husbond conclude he was finished with dinner and could leave the table. He did. Girls was also finished - mood was GONE! I told him my opinion - he ruined the mood, totally - his argument was they werent having any dinner (who cares - I made dinner for me, if they dont eat it, they can make something themselves!)
Husbond got up, was leaving for the garden - I asked "so, Im doing all the clean up, then" - and he replied - "get the kids to help you".
They did, all of them (another miracle) and now Im sitting in lounge with a glass of wine and a movie, all kids having fun in sons room.

FOR FUCKS SAKE I am fed up with husbond not being able to tolerate FUN! Am I wrong? Am I being unfair?? He is out there, sulking, texting me that he will be having dinner alone now, so not to spoil all our fun. I replied it was his choice, but he was not to spoil the mood anymore. Dinner is not for "training" kids - in lack of English words - dinner is for relating, having a good time.. If they dont eat much, they sort it out themselves. They have arms, they know the kitchen. I dont care if they eat, they are not babies - I want to be with them.. Am I being unreasonoble?

I think your husband overreacted, but (I don't have any experience with ADHD) I do believe that table manners are important. Your husband is probably different in that. With my family dinner is a bit if a formal affair... Try to resolve your differences in a calmer way rather than sulking maybe?

Why are you calling him your “husbond”???

Because we are Married??!? Not sure i understand the question?

They dont throw food around.. just chatting, easygoing- eating chips with fingers- but usually use knife and fork- nobody else has commented on them and i cant see the harm in Happy and chatting, laughing.

It’s clearly a spelling mistake Equality, I think it’s pretty obvious she means husband and not at all relevant to the post.

It’s husbAnd and I never comment on other people’s children’s table manners but I often think they’re grim so I wouldn’t take too much comfort from no one having told you they’re horribly behaved in the past.

If your children are old enough to make themselves a meal, which you say a couple of times, a lot of people would consider them old enough to use cutlery and not make farting noises at the table.

He probably did overreact but maybe he’s at the end if his tether with it and has had enough. I don’t think suggesting he leaves you and them to it is a bad thing if when he thinks they’re being childish and gross you have a go at him.

We are not in the army- or amish. They eat fine- they are just chatty and speaking a lot . I have a 15 year old son with ADHD and he is having fun with his little sister and her friend. I was so Happy and proud of my son, coming home from holiday, and still he had energy to spend on his sister.. but manners. Ok. I disagree. Thanks 🌹

Just read in paper that british people arent allowed to have pools in gardens in case intruders drown. Maby i need to seek advice elsewhere 🤣

Bye bye then...

But if a burglar drowns in your pool then they can't burgle any one else. Win win surely

I agree.. I just laughed when i read it🤣 nyt Really- is manners Really restricted to no fun, no laugh??? Read my post again and seriously tell me om being unfair? HusbAnd has gone to bed 😣

Our evening meal is where we all catch up with each other, we all have a laugh and a chat it's lovely. He sounds like fun sucker, lock him in the garden next time.

Well actually I agree with you op, I see no issue with fun at the family dinner table. Different with others present or eating st an external venue, but I see no issue with what your son did and happy kids having fun is good.

I don't get why you think Brits aren't allowed pools though or what the hell yout reading.

He still avoid speaking to me and i cant get my head around abuse. The pool thing Was a story in a news paper - it was Funny.. he just went into garden, working . He Will Say i dont speak to him- please tell me why it is abuse and not just childish? I need to understand in order to act on it..

He reacts to children behaving like children by being childish himself, good game, well played - not! He's a hypocrite, a tosser and a shit role model.

But why is it abusive? Childish yes - but what makes it abusive? I just Got used to it, i Think .

Oh ffs he isn’t abusive. I knew it wouldn’t be long until somebody called him that

Maybe his reaction was over the top but on the other hand I can’t stand it when parents excuse their kids horrible table manners and yes I think making fart noises horrible manners

They’re old enough to make their own food as you pointed out, so they’re old enough NOT to be making horrible sounds. I don’t care whether your son has adhd or not, I don’t care whether he was having a laugh with his younger sister or not, if I was having dinner round yours and your son was doing that I’d be rolling my eyes and wishing I was anywhere else but sat at the table next to him

Perhaps some of his behaviour may improve if you implement some boundaries and stop excusing horrible manners?

Have you posted about him before? I think I recognise your writing style.

Whilst I think he might have reacted a little it sounds like he is tired of the childish behaviour that's common place around your dinner table. At 15yo I would think your son could behave much better than that. I would find it highly irritating if he was making those noises at dinner. He isnt a small child.

I agree with you as well OP. Our family meals are full of laughter, messing around, jokes and funny noises. If we have guests or we go out my dcs are impeccably behaved. I think there is appropriate behaviour for every situation. Just because my kids behave in a certain way whilst in their comfort zone-doesn’t mean they’ll behave like that in company. My 14 year old son has special needs (asd) and if he decides to join in with the funny noises etc we fully encourage him. Your husband is def a fun sucker!
The pool story was in the faily wail-a large pool being set up in a communal area. The council would’ve been liable for any damages should a burglar have drowned in it (rolls eyes-agree-completely ridiculous) the rest of us are allowed paddling pools. I’ve got one set up for my mutts as my kids are far to old and cool for paddling pools.

He is starting to piss me off, but i have been cool so far. He was happy and chatty with guests- now he is back to silence. Refused to Help son with Something, only saying no to him, no further explanation . Im getting angry..

And yes kids act a lot more polite in company. Im not stupid- they are Nice kids.

They sound like lovely kids. I’m not surprised you’re cross.

The bit that got me was that your husband was sat in the garden texting you sulky comments! Is he 14?!

Yes a farty noise is immature. Your son is 15, that’s what they do! Sulky texting a few yards away from a grown up? Grown ups don’t do that.

He does this rarely - once a month- but when he do, he ignores everybody (answers questions with only yes/no) doesnt do any housework and when i have sorted house and kids in evening he come to the lounge, join in om my movie and at some point, take my hand and Thats it. Usually i dont comment on it - as it delayes peace for Another day . Suggestions on New approach to try out Tonight? 🤔😊