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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sat in my garden in this beautiful sunshine, alone! Anyone else out there feeling a little bit sorry for themselves?

108 replies

Bubblesandcake · 07/07/2018 17:48

Or are you content (answer honestly) in the fact you have absolutely no plans this Saturday evening?
My dd's are at friends intil 8.30pm. They have been out since 2pm. I have been sat scrolling facebook- Instagram- mumsnet....
Recently single and feeling completely lost!
What do all you single mammas do on weekend days/evenings?

OP posts:
whiskeysourpuss · 07/07/2018 20:27

Oddcat I'm up in Scotland

Bubbles I'm just looking at gyms as fancy Pilates but local class is £6.40 each week & I can join the local gym for £20 a month & pay an extra £2 a week to attend their Pilates class - gym is open 24/7 & it's a rolling contract so seems a good deal & as I'm always up really early I'll go before work so it'll be dead no one will see me trying to get my fat arse on the bike

sillyoldowl · 07/07/2018 20:31

I'm on my own
Dp away
Dc sleep
Had some wine... wondering... am I a lesbian

Oddcat · 07/07/2018 20:39

Virtual party it is !

Lucky11111 · 07/07/2018 20:40

I always thought that once the kids were grown up, I'd be out and living the life of Riley.

Instead, I'm losing my ability to be sociable - and sliding into a kinda sloth-like state.

I'm up for any kind of improvement!

East Sussex

Oddcat · 07/07/2018 20:42

I remember when DD was little and I moved heaven and earth to find baby sitters so I could go out . Now she's an adult and I just can't be arsed .

Dan89 · 07/07/2018 20:44

Another of the "on my own club" here. I don't feel too bad about it today, but I will often think of all the people who I know who are all out with their other halves and friends, and it does get me down when it feels like no-one wants to spend time with me

Oddcat · 07/07/2018 20:51

I wonder how , at the age of 54 , I just don't know many people. Well , I know lots of people but no one that would pop in to see me or that I could call round to see.

LaraLondon1 · 07/07/2018 20:56

Nah same here - at least ur getting to enjoy the garden !
I’ve got a communal garden that has been taken over by my downstairs neighbour for a party . About 40 people all chilling and music getting louder ..so am here hearing the party in my sitting room feeling like a right Billy no mates !!

Gilead · 07/07/2018 21:00

I quite like being on my own. Just about two years out of a twenty year abusive marriage. It's quiet here, dd and friend nipping out and I"m in the garden pottering and reading. I'm too old to start dating again and don't particularly want to anyway.

megletthesecond · 07/07/2018 21:02

Me.
The dc's are either playing out or coming back to moan about who's done what.
I can't go out for a run or see other adults so I just kind of mooch around the house at weekends.
11yr old DS did nip back during the football to see if I was ok and not lonely. I lied and said I was fine pottering about.

I'm finding their primary school years much harder as a LP. They're more stubborn and I can't just nip out with them in a pushchair anymore.

ADarkandStormyKnight · 07/07/2018 21:03

Oddcat I'm the same. I have a couple of friends I call up fairly regularly but I've had to push myself out of my comfort zone to do it. Friendships are hard work, especially when people are busy. It's easiest when you can meet up for something organised like Park Run or a book group.

trustnoone2018 · 07/07/2018 21:13

@Nowthefunbegins I am in East Midlands too 😊

Destinysdaughter · 07/07/2018 21:27

Well if anyone is free tomorrow and wants to go to a jazz soul and funk music festival in Birmingham tomorrow, let me know! Was supposed to go with DP, but now it's over, don't want to go alone and at such short notice, all my friends are busy.

Wolfcub · 07/07/2018 21:35

Me too Op. also recently single. Ds is away for the weekend and I spent the day moving stbexh stuff out of the living areas of the house. I’ve watched the footy and drunk some wine and killed time on the net but it does just feel like killing time. I am better of work days when I am busy

Turnedovernewleaf · 07/07/2018 21:43

....I'm going to say that I live towards the north west of England.

As I'm on another thread I don't want to out myself

I have a handful of friends and lots of acquaintances however I don't feel as though I have anyone who I can share everything with without it going further ( if that all makes sense )

The ' gardens ' surrounding me have quietened down now and my DC are all settled in bed

Oddcat · 07/07/2018 21:48

That sounds great Destiny I'd love to go but too far away Sad

RhubarbTea · 07/07/2018 22:23

It's funny how there are so may of us.

I always look around and think I must be the only lonely person, but I think a lot of my acquaintances have big families and spouses they hang out with a lot, and then there is me, lone parent 50/50 parenting and DC at their Dad's every weekend and a bit in the week. It is really lonely at times. I did have people I could have hung out with today but they live in a nearby town and I'd have had to get the train over there to watch the match with them in a pub, and I don't really know them well or feel a particular connection. So I stayed in and ate pizza, and watched the match alone.

I don't want to date or socialise just for the sake of it, but I would like to meet more people I love and feel close to, and I don't know how to do that. I click with people so rarely, so I tend not to bother going out.

Buckingfrolicks · 07/07/2018 22:33

Me too. Watched match alone, fine, then went for long country walk alone - not so fine. Felt like a single ant outcast from the ant heap, creeping about lost on the surface of the planet.

Then home after some tears, to Netflix and MN.

It's usually ok but today not so good

HopelessWithNumbers · 07/07/2018 22:52

I had a nice catch up with my friend (& ate too much).
But there’s still a gnawing emptiness. I really want someone to share my life with.
I’m dreading tomorrow. I might go to an exhibition but walking around on my own tends to make me feel sad.
Oh dear. It’s getting so that I look forward to work!
I’m in East London.

Destinysdaughter · 07/07/2018 23:25

I've been reflecting a lot on my relationship and why it ended and I know that a lot of the time I felt v alone in it as we weren't really compatible deep down. I've actually felt less alone these last few days of being on my own as I've felt more myself and have reached out to pp I haven't spoken to for a long while. I've been compromising my true self just for the sake of being in a relationship and actually it was a high price to pay...

Murpher · 07/07/2018 23:35

Very much alone. DC’s both abroad. Partner has multiple health issues which mean that other than cooking/eating/going out for a fag, he spends the rest of the weekend lying on the sofa snoring and farting. Sleep apnoea snoring and serious gut issues farting. Hope this helps those who are on their own. I’d rather be. At least I could turn the telly down.

Ruddygreattiger2016 · 07/07/2018 23:39

Genuinely happy and content being single. Dc around but at an age where they can do their own thing but do need me for taxi service!
Went out last night with some girlfriends for an early dinner followed by a couple of drinks, home at a reasonable time and no hangover!
Mooched around the shops for a couple of hours today then a blissful afternoon in the garden watching the tennis and reading. I am another who hears of women friends in crappy/unsatisfying relationships and count my lucky stars I have the independence and autonomy to make a life that I want with zero compromise, that makes me truly happyFlowers

Murpher · 07/07/2018 23:44

Well done Ruddy - you have great strength and the wisdom to acknowledge that a crappy relationship is much worse than no relationship

HugeAckmansWife · 08/07/2018 08:46

Know what a pp means about losing the knack of socialising.. I was out last night, big works do and I just felt like I had no conversation. When people drifted off from our table I didn't really feel I had anyone else to go chat with. It's not easy to get out and do interesting stuff when you're a single parent.

Wolfcub · 08/07/2018 11:32

I was never great at socialising to start with but it feels so much more vulnerable to go out to an event as a single rather than in a pair. I went to a parade ds was in yesterday and I felt like the only single person on the planet and like I was walking round with a beacon on my head saying “sad divorcee-to-be”