Do these texts sound like this guy is a player?

[TheLastCamel]

There's a man I am really, really attracted to in a way which is unusual for me. I didn't think anything would ever come of it, but I've recently heard from him. In the interest of full disclosure he's my ex tutor from university. I've only seen him for a max of 45 minutes a week for a year, had a few chats but nothing major.

He's sent a couple of strong messages and it's ringing alarm bells. Just seems a bit too "smooth" and intense to be genuine. What do you think? I don't know whether to stay away or if I'm too cynical due to past experiences of knobheads!

Message 1: don't stay away too long as I have a very strong suspicion I could really make you very happy!! Who knows, maybe that would truly be for the first time! Xxx

Message 2: One final thing I'm confused about that you might be able to help me with. How in gods name can a girl as incredible as you ever need to be considering getting back with a guy?!! How did that guy ever manage to be so foolish as to let you go in the first place?! I don't get it! But anyway, you don't really need to answer. Just know I wouldn't make that mistake. I know what I've got when I've got it, and I don't let it go! Especially so if she was as special as you. Just something to think about xxx

Too much to be genuine?! Or am I being cynical??

Urghhhhh. They are making my skin itch with creepiness.
They are a walking cliche.
Only joy of continuing communications with them is to see what bullshit they will say next.

Player. All lines.

Sounds like he has cut & paste from a chat up website

It is very superficial and your instinct kicking in.

Ick. I’m not even sure I’d say player. Could be he creeps every woman out enough not to ever get the chance to play them

What on Earth are you texting him though to prompt that? Why does he know you’re maybe getting back with someone? What leads him to say maybe this would be the first time you’d be truly happy? I hope you’re not sharing woe is me personal history with someone you barely know!

He sounds very unattractively up his own arse with the “I can make you happy” stuff. Far too full on. Not “I’d like to make you happy” but “I can”.

Too much ego for me!

I think he sounds like he's trying to flirt but comes across a bit full on....
I wouldn't dismiss it if he's someone you're interested in!

If you're both single, and Interested, then what's the harm?

Go for it!

Maybe that's his charm offensive. Everyone's different. I don't think there's a way a man can text that says"Im NOT a player" - is there?

I can never see the point of deciphering texts.

Any grown man who can't pick up the phone and chat is a no-no to me I couldn't care less what his writing style is. Likewise a man who isn't available for phone chats - nope.

Pick up the phone yourself then you can gauge whether your alarm.bells are valid. Of course if you can't pick up the phone then unless you're 16 years old it's probably best to leave it

Background is that he messaged me out of the blue, we sent one or two messages back and forth. I then said that the timing was horrible and I needed to stop speaking to him as ex and I were talking about trying to iron stuff out between us (ex still living with me and has never moved out).

I've never done anything to suggest
I'm not happy! I am a very happy person, I thought it was an odd thing to say too!

But yes, I do (did?!) really like him. I told my best friend about him months ago as there was just something about him that I couldn't stop thinking about. Being frank, he seemed to reawaken my sex drive

But now I'm worried he's a player/creep because those messages are quite intense and not what I've known from men in the past.

My skin is crawling.

Also: you can tell he’s a player because they’re just bigging himself up. He’s only complimenting you to compliment hinself iyswim? He would make you happy, he wouldn’t make that mistake, he’s not like other guys, he has a high opinion of himself and it just oozes out in every word.

If he is a tutor i expect this is his m.o. dodgy af. Swerve him now. What you are perceiving as chemistry and attraction is just his monstrous ego having made himself a big fish in a pond of young women looking up to him and hanging on his every word. He wants a mirror not a real connection.

OP - you’ve seen him weekly for a year. And had other conversations.
Surely - that is a better way to understand a person than to read between the lines of few messages.

Maybe he is trying to impress you. Maybe he had a crush on you back when he was your tutor. Maybe he speaks like this and is a bit of OTT in romantic communications.

You don’t need to commit to anything right away. You say you are very attracted to him.

What do you have to lose by going on a date? Actually getting to know each other in a different, more personal way.

You seem to be scarred by some past experience and are now seeking certainty. And guarantees.
Life doesn’t work like that.

Its rubbish. Standard lines. Next!

You were his student and he is sending you messages like this? Sounds very inappropriate. He doesn't sound very mature really.

Creepy.
Predatory.
Block him.

And really bloody manipulative!

Yes, I was a mature student so not much of an age gap between us.

It's just really surprised me, I thought he was a good guy and now he's come out with this crap.

I was really looking forward to the possibility of having sex with him. I think it would have been the kind of sex I've not had since being a horny teenager.

Well meet up, have sex and see how it goes 🤷‍♀️

You’re adults.

Boak.

If you want to fuck him fuck him but dont expect anything else.

Am surprised you have to ask tbh. He texts out of the Bluffers guide to playbooks! Smooth, totally insincere, and out for a shag. If that's all you're up for go for it, but if you're thinking there's an inkling of something more don't bother. He'll be quite happy sending similar to the next one. He really ain't that into you.

What Coughy said

Albeit, expect a load of headfuckery afterwards

Bleurgh.

Next.

Creepy was my first reaction.

My first reaction is unethical
My second is your not the first woman he's said all this too
He asks you a question and then answers it for you
Ide report him to his works place if he continues to be honest

OP, I'm a man and work in a University. I'd never send a message like this to one of my former students or contact them out the blue in this way - it's totally unprofessional. The inappropriateness of staff-student relationships has been much talked of in universities lately and he should be well aware of that. Big red flag. Either he's fallen hard for you, or he's a player. Remember you'll have formed your opinions of him in a context in which he had all the power.

Yuk

Slimy. Or just a complete lack of original chat. Either way, I bet the sex would be shite, he is all ego.