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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Pushed over and now broken arm

62 replies

Sillysausage12345 · 30/06/2018 14:31

Afternoon guys,

Quick run down of last nights events...

A few mates and their gfs came over to mine. Drink was involved. I’m not a massive drinker so I wasn’t past the point of not knowing what was going on.

One particular friend I got on very well with and recently it’s made his on and off gf challenge both of us and I’ve always said there is nothing going on which is the truth.

Anyway, i offered for my mate and his gf to stay and as the music was loud and all that I leant in and said this to him, the gf saw us chatting from outside and went bananas. Literally flipped out, managed to scuff me round the face. I do know how this probably looked from the outside and especially given the circumstances of their volitile relationship I shouldn’t have said anything to him about them staying, but she doesn’t live near me so I thought I was just being nice.

My mate picked up the gf and dragged her outside throwing her to the floor, she hit her head on some stones and there was blood everywhere, at that moment I just wanted to stop it All and see if she was ok. My mate just saw red and pushed me over shouting in my face he’s going to break my nose if I don’t leave her alone. I landed on my wrist which I’m going to have to have xrayed as it really doesn’t feel good.

He stormed off, gf was in a state, everyone left and somehow it was me and her left, I managed to calm her down and clean her up and we actually managed to have an adult conversation about it all. I apologised for what it looked like to her, she apologised for flipping out. We’re over it like reasonable people.

I then get phone calls this afternoon saying it’s all my fault I should have never gone near him, the gf is his gf not me, if I feel like that towards him (which I don’t) then I should stay away from him. He doesn’t want anything to do with me ever again, I’m every name under the sun. I made the gf feel uncomfortable even though I went out my way to talk to her and make an effort but apparently this was me being too friendly.

I feel pretty shit about the events and wish I’d said to her about staying it would have then all been prevented. But a silly argument turned very nasty very quickly. My mate literally turned on everyone, pushed my other friend and her bf to the floor which was so uncalled for when we were all just trying to get him away from the gf as she was sobbing on the floor bleeding.

Please just everyone remind me not to go out my way to help people again. It always comes back to bite me, I feel a kn*b for mentioning anything to him about staying.

And if I need a speaking to please feel free to have a go as I need a proper reilaty check.

Plus I need some advice on voilence.

OP posts:
WonderfulWonders · 30/06/2018 14:37

Report him to the police and cut them all out of your life. This sounds beyond dysfunctional

bevelino · 30/06/2018 14:41

OP, are you able to obtain a version of what happened from another (neutral) guest in order to work out who was to blame? It sounds like it was the girlfriend. Is your arm broken?

bevelino · 30/06/2018 14:42

I meant your mate, not the gf.

Joboy · 30/06/2018 14:43

Yeah phone police .

TheCheeseStandsAlone · 30/06/2018 14:46

I’ve got a bit lost about who pushed whom but that man is not your friend.

Please get your arm checked out asap.

Sillysausage12345 · 30/06/2018 14:46

Yeah I suspect so, I’m going a& e later.

OP posts:
Sillysausage12345 · 30/06/2018 14:47

My mate pushed me and all my other mates and his gf to the floor, she hit her head and I landed on my wrist.

OP posts:
BananaHarvest · 30/06/2018 14:49

It’s assault. He should be reported to the police. He is not your friend. Get rid of him but have the courage to ensure his girlfriend is protected first.

Ginger1982 · 30/06/2018 14:49

She assaulted you and then he assaulted the both of you. You should call the police.

calzone · 30/06/2018 14:50

It all sounds very dramatic but you should get your arm seen to and ask for advice from the hospital as to what you should do.

AveABanana · 30/06/2018 14:51

How is this man your friend?

Sillysausage12345 · 30/06/2018 14:52

Thanks guys, I want to check the gf is ok but I really can’t be bothered to get involved.

I’ll speak to the hospital about reporting it And she what they say.

OP posts:
3DSpex · 30/06/2018 14:52

Your ‘mate’ sounds like a violent lunatic.

TheQueef · 30/06/2018 14:53

Very chaotic. You need to step back from this group.

Get arm checked too.

Sillysausage12345 · 30/06/2018 14:56

We’ve been mates for years, he’s never shown any voilence towards me so I try to take people as they are to me until they prove me otherwise.

OP posts:
Sillysausage12345 · 30/06/2018 14:57

Yes I agree “mate” in loose terms.

OP posts:
RafikiIsTheBest · 30/06/2018 14:58

How many people did he push to the floor?
Initially, I thought it was his GF, then you when you tried to intervene but it seems like more people than that? Everyone else left? To leave you and another woman to deal with your injuries?
None of them sound like good friends.

viques · 30/06/2018 15:04

I stopped reading when you claimed you were "reasonable people" .

WickedLazy · 30/06/2018 15:06

Your mate and his gf sounds like arseholes. Gf jealous of female mates is standard, but the violence on all sides was wrong and uncalled for. She shouldn't have hit you, even if was just a slap, and what he did was way beyond any kind of normal reaction to drama. I'd say you're the scapegoat, because it's easier for them to blame you, than admit (even to themselves), their own bad behaviour. They won't change if they're in denial.

Notevilstepmother · 30/06/2018 15:07

Step away from this “mate”.

His girlfriend isn’t your problem. Leave her friends to deal with it.

My advice is to cut them both out totally and immediately. Not your problem. Get your arm seen to ASAP and then forget about it and them.

dancehowyouwannadance · 30/06/2018 15:08

Yeah he's not your mate and you all sound very dysfunctional.

Coyoacan · 30/06/2018 15:09

I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP. I would want them all out of my life, the gf assaulted you and then your so-called mate assaulted you. You were not in the wrong at all. It is no excuse for your mate, but aggression around drunk people spreads like wild-fire.

SandyY2K · 30/06/2018 15:11

So he pushed several people to the floor?

He was out of control...there were enough witnesses to back you up.

Arum51 · 30/06/2018 15:12

This all sounds very dramatic. I hope your arm is okay. Get these people out of your life, you really don't need it. I hope there were no kids around when this was going on!

WerkSupp · 30/06/2018 15:14

Gawd your mate is a thug. Do you realise that if his gf had fallen the wrong way she could be dead or very seriously injured? He assaulted you both. You need to go to the police before he kills someone. Get them out of you life, these people are violent crims.

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