Why is she always The Other Woman

[WhyDoes]

I am so upset with my sister.

Ten years ago, she started an affair with a married man. He had four children under the 10. His wife eventually found out and did the pick me dance. And he went back to his family leaving my sister incandescent with rage. She honestly believed that he would leave his family for her. Not saying she was just with him for the money but an important bit of info is that he is very, very weathly.

Fast forward a year and she’s become involved with another married father of two, again, very young children.
He has said he will leave them for her.

WHY does she always have to be the OW? She has always been this way. Even when we were teenagers she would sleep with the boyfriends of other girls. It’s like she gets off on it.

I’m so mad at her. And yet she is my sister and I don’t want her to get hurt by yet another man who promises her the world then chickens out leaving her high and dry.

How do I get through to her to stop fucking around with married men?

What a mess.
If it may not happen.
Do you know what happens when 2 selfish people get to together?
His poor wife indeed.

I was friends with a girl like this. She used to have relationships but persistently cheat and often with married or committed men. She eventually found 'the one.' She cheated on him too, he was told, forgave her & now they're married with a DC! I often think of her when people speak of karma. It didn't seem to catch up with her.

I know everything is complicated and it's hard. It's up to therapists to be non-judgemental. As a human, being in a relationship with a married man is a pretty crappy thing to do.

A dear friend of mine had a relationship with a married man with DCs, his wife found out, he left them for her & then she changed her mind. Decided she didn't love him after all.

Is there not a point where people should realise how wrong what they're doing is? Believe me, I know the married men are more at fault than your sister but I think she is too. If she saw the potential devastation she could be instrumental in inflicting on his DCs, would she stop?

I really think we don't get the luxury of acting on every heart connection. Married people are off limits until such time they decide to end their marriages ...

Aye right he's leaving his wife. Believe that when I see it.

Believe it when it happens. Many say they'll leave and don't. Some actually do leave. Time will tell.

I've had OW tell me they were house hunting and he decided he wanted to stay with his wife.

She's made her bed either way.

Do your parents know about it all?

Hi Sandy, yes, I had a long talk with both our parents about the situation. They seem to have come round to the idea and even met with him recently.

The trouble is, my little sister has always been the apple of our father’s eye and can do no wrong. Whatever she does, however she behaves, he’ll always find an excuse for her. Mum is a bit different. She’s not happy about it at all but doesn’t want to push my sister away. And that’s exactly how I feel too. We have an older brother who is completely fed up with her as she doesn’t get on at all with his wife, they actually properly hate each other. It’s all such a mess.

sometimes you have to treat family as if they were colleagues just to get by, it's a good tactic for keeping communication lines open but not approving of behaviour you don't approve of, that, let's face it, basically is pretty awful and likely to end badly.

also, sometimes courting the family disapproval can be part of the mess, your sister might be deliberately testing you all due to some long held issues. I know my sister, even at our advanced years, still does things to get a reaction from my parents which is clearly not normal.

It intrigues me how a father can accept knowing his DD is seeing a MM.

Most parents want their child with an honourable trustworthy person...this MM has shown he's not that type of man.

Sandy, our dad thinks that because he’s left his wife and family for our girl he’s done the right thing by her.

Our dad is the loveliest man in the world but when it comes to our lass, he is blind. She’s the baby of the family and the girly girl he always wanted but that I never was. I don’t mind though. She was a surprise (10 years between us) and we all doted on her since birth. And unfortunately probably spoilt her too. Hence her entitled attitude in relationships.

I wonder if he will end up leaving his W

I’m betting not ...

After making made choices in my life while going through a hard time. I been with married men. Now I learnt hard lessons.
These men they have issues with their wives they look somewhere else. Once their issues are resolved they go back to their wives.
In my view after being her shoes for a little while I could not take it. Seeing him with his wife and kids. I ended it and told him couldn't carry it on. Sometimes it's not the OW fault like it's made out to be.

In your sisters case he leading her on aswell. I'm not sure how she likes the sneaking around it's difficult you feel so rubbish leaving that guy knowing they going to their wives. They never leave their wives I always believe this. Because of kids but they like to play away because the wives will never end it too. Some wives never know what their husbands are doing or they do but turn blind eye.
Both of these guys I would never want to have become serious with. Your sister should be careful he will do the same to her. She will be taking on the wife issues.
I have been there not proud of it and it's awful. I'm not going to be used because they got issues with their wives.

To be the other woman you got to be heartless and not feel guilty. I was upset with myself full of guilt. But while the ow gets labelled the homewrecker. For me these men do pursue woman draw them in say they got problems. They got to stay there for the kids. It's her why I drink. Inwas told by one.
But getting out of it is best for your sister. The sneaking around might be the exciting thing about mm. You can expect them to leave be serious with you. It won't happen. Some woman do break up families and the husbands do fall for these women. It won't last and when your put in the wife shoes you see a new side. I hope your sister and this guy works out but I don't think so.

I actually avoid them now. It's not worth the stress. Let them deal with their issues. Let them face them. They tell you lies just for sex.