There a theme to how my husband behaves when we're trying to resolve something, which is how he acts when I point out something that he can't think of a sensible response to.
Small things like this escalate: yesterday, lots of flies about, so earlier in the day, I'd ask that people keep the kitchen bin closed. After dinner, I was scraping stuff into the bin, when he came into the kitchen with more plates. I finished, stepped back and he stepped forward to do his, while I left the room. 10 mins later I returned to an empty kitchen and an open bin, so next time I saw him I said in a perfectly relaxed voice, "oh, don't forget about shutting the bin - there's raw chicken bits in there, and there are flies about".
Him: "I left it how I found it".
Me: "well yes, but that's because I was using it when you came in. You waited, then I stepped back for you to use it".
Him: "I left it open because I found it open".
Me: "Well yes, I just explained that. It would have been weird for me to close the bin lid when you were standing there so you could re-open it yourself! You commented a couple of hours ago how many flies were about, so we said we'd keep the bin closed".
Him: growls something about how impossible I am and how he can't do anything right and stomps out of room.
I don't understand why he can't just say "oh oops, I forgot", and the moment would pass. He sees me asking him to do things as controlling and critical, although he can't explain why those descriptions don't apply to him when the roles are reversed and it's him doing the asking. If I point out this is a double standard, he'll say/shout, "I don't know, I DON'T KNOW it just feels different when it's you!!"
He will not talk to resolve anything. He shouts, strops, sulks, walks off, makes declarations about my awfulness, uses sarcasm and exaggeration, while I'm just standing there quietly saying, "please, can you lower your voice, think about what we're saying, and talk to me". I really didn't think adults behaved like this until I lived with him.