Problems with sex

[tammybear]

It has been over 2 years since I last had sex, and not that I think Ill be getting much for a while, Id like to think that when I do, I can actually do it. I have tried since having dd, but it has been so painful, and I just tense up and so nothing's happening. And when I tense up, it's like a wall, and nothing's getting anywhere. I went to see a doctor about it, and theres nothing actually wrong with me. Its all in my head. He recommended using dilators, which sound scary. I know Im not going to like that. I have thought of getting a vibrator. I have also thought of sex therapy. Is there anything anyone can suggest that could help?

Have you tried KY Jelly or another kind of lubricant?

yeah, it made a bit of difference, but not a lot

I would just avoid having penetrative sex.

Sounds stupid, but if you do go to bed with someone, make it clear that you don't want penetration. There's lots of other things you can do in bed together which both of you will enjoy, and if he sticks around, eventually you will want it and your brain and body will be ready for it. It may take time and patience, but a good lover has plenty of both.

(not being a psychologist I apologise in advance) but it does sound like a psychological issue.
perhaps you need to straighten out a few things in your life/history, before taking things any further.
Don't put yourself under any stress, and yes of course if situation arises and it feels right then go for it... otherwise just make sure your partner is clear about what you want.