How would you interpret this comment?

[Mytwistedimagination]

I have wanted you at least as much as I ever wanted her.
While talking about the skank that he cheated on me with after 7 years of us being together. (Who knew we were together.) My point was that in order for him to cheat so easily, he must have wanted her a great deal more than me. That was his reply. What would you take it to mean, in that context?

Not exactly a compliment is it?

Sweet talker ain't he? I hope you've moved on, OP.

Not very reassuring is it?

I wouldn't even try to interpret it. Save your energy for ltb.

No, I wasn't reassured either. After I said how horrible that was, he said it implies he wanted me more, but that's sure not how it reads to me. Anyone agree with him? To me it implies he might have wanted me less, possibly the same as.
Sadly, I only recently found out about this, which happened many years ago, so I didn't get the chance to move on.

Are you still with him?

hmm. I read it as at the lowest point that he wanted you, it was on par of the highest point of wanting her, therefore he wants you more.

But seriously!!!?! what a twat!

'At least' so more likely he wanted her more?

Sorry you're going through this

Er yeah when he said that he was backtracking

This isn't about you. Men are selfish and just go for what they want at the time occasionally and justify it to themselves.

You can still "move on"

There is no time limit on ltb

Doesnt sound great, does it?

I would take that to mean he wanted you as much as he wanted her. It’s not even worth trying to interpret as once a cheat always a cheat. Not the point of the thread but instead of being angry at the ‘skank’ focus your anger on the man who betrayed you.

It's not good but the sentence means imo - the very least I wanted you is the most I wanted her, so he always wanted you more than her even when his feelings for her where high

Mathematically, he is correct. ‘At least as much’ means ‘as much or more’. Emotionally, he is in deep shit. That is no way to respond to a potentially relationship ending question.

Where do you want to go from here OP? He doesn’t sound as though he is doing much to allay your pain (and nor can he probably). How are you situated, can you split ?

And I’m so sorry you’re going through this

waiting believe me, I'm extremely angry with him, but she deserves plenty too, knowing full well we were together at the time. Unfortunately, the time and circumstances have moved on sufficiently that I'm no longer able to confront her or get any answers, confirmation or closure from her. An apology would be nice, but seeing as she blocked me as soon as I asked about them sleeping together, she apparently doesn't feel guilty about it in any way.

If he really wanted to reassure you, he wouldn’t have used that language regardless of how it can technically be interpreted.

I mean, he could have said anything to make you feel better but he took the opportunity to be ambiguous and put you on a back-footing. Not exactly loving partner behaviour.

jenny, not really, no. Classic woman who gave everything up to enable his lovely career.

I really just want to be with someone who just loves me, and hasn't ever cheated on me. Sounds pathetic and it's obviously not going to happen. Time, kids, life etc are not on my side.

And I agree with the point that if reassuring me he could have chosen much better language. It's like his initial comments are most accurately what he thinks, and he does backtrack if I point out it doesn't sound good.

I think he was trying to reassure you, however, he shouldn’t be comparing the two of you at all for you

Well you can move on, what do you mean you can't?

And if she's a skank, I assume you think he is much worse, as he's the one who committed to you?

Being angry at her is simply a way of deflecting it away from him so you can justify staying with him. 🙁

Get yourself a new life.
He sounds vile ! She didn’t make any promises to you- he did so save your loathing of her.

I’m sorry you’re hurting. Don’t live a half life anymore

teddy your interpretation would be nice, but to me it's a completely different expression... If he wanted me as much, surely he would have said 'I wanted you at least as much, if not more', or have said it exactly as you did?

Op, genuinely you're over analysing this one comment. The bigger issue is he cheated. And yes at that time he wanted her more.

How long ago was it?

Bluntness max, I don't agree. She deserves as much hatred from me, she knew full well what she was getting into. I'm not saying she behaved worse, he definitely did. She didn't make any promises to me, but decent people don't poach others partners, no matter how easy it is. No excuse for it whatsoever, it's disgusting. I don't see why others should condone or ignore it by saying she made no promises to me. I am in no way more angry with her to justify my staying with him. I do think he behaved worse, yes.

I'd love a nice new life max, but it's not that easy, is it?