Anybody else have a shit Fathers Day or just me?

[DesperateHusband]

Three teenagers. All basically forgot. Two I reminded during the morning which ended up in an argument about something unrelated. I went out and came back to find hastily written card my wife had bought before with a wrapped up "present" - a fucking chocolate orange from the cupboard with my wife smiling saying see they didn't forget. Third child hasn't said a word all day despite being in the car with her when Fathers Day mentioned on the radio. For dinner I got instant noodles made by my wife. Drowning my sorrows with red wine I bought myself. Meanwhile Facebook awash with friends posting pictures of lovely messages in cards, loads of presents, nice dinners etc. Feeling thoroughly crap and unappreciated.

They should have at least got you some cards and made you a cuppa. We are pretty skint and managed some home made cards from the kids a nice breakfast and some baking scones and cookies from the kids. Doesn’t need to cost much to show you care. Sorry you had a bad day.

Sorry you had a crap day, teens need a kick up the arse I think
And no more favours for a while

Fathers’ Day isn’t a real thing.

Grow up.

Oh, really sorry to hear that, DesperateH. But, you know, teenagers can be so self-centred. It's hard not to take their actions to heart. I have felt similarly on past occasions. A lot of fuss is made over these days, but really they're just artificial days concocted to encourage consumption. I'd say look at the bigger picture...do you generally feel appreciated? Also, I'd say it's worth lowering expectations about how thoughtful teens can be. But I can relate to how you've been left feeling.

Sorry you had a rubbish day. I think a forthright mention about how you feel would be the best way to go and leave it at that. I guess your wife assumed they would sort themselves out?
Anyway no more taxi service for a while eh?
Some teens can be very thoughtless.

thats teens im afraid! and beyond. dh got a phone call from our left home daughters. one said card was in the post.

That's shit from them. Instant noodles are also shit, but I'm also pretty sure you're capable of cooking your own dinner if you don't like what's on offer?

And Facebook is all smugness and crap anyway.

Sorry your kids were crap. Do you mean 1980s style supernoodles? I used to love the curry ones. If it was a pot noodle that is crap.

Sorry cross post. Sorry to be flippant about the noodles.

My dp got a text from 2 of his dds and nothing from the other 2. He's not bothered. He knows it's just commercial crap, made for DC to jump through hoops. And if they don't, he knows they love him anyway.

I know what you mean, teenagers especially probably don't show appreciation at any other time, it would've been nice for them to make an effort. If I was your wife I would've at least reminded them. I felt bad for my husband because I woke up with a horrendous headache, he gave me some tablets and told me to go back to sleep. He got up with our boys, mopped the kitchen, put washing on and the stuff from yesterday in the dishwasher. But he knows we love him and appreciate him!

Crap because it is likely to be my DF last Father’s Day. He doesnt know who I am anymore but I went to see him as I always do, twice a week. I hope at some level he knew I was there to thank him for being a great father.

My dad has always said he will let me off Fathers Day duties forever because when I was 13, I bought him a card and a really shit present (a multipack of chewing gum), when neither of my (older) siblings remembered.

It's not what you get, is it? It's the the fact that you're thought about. I sobbed my way through Mothers Day this year, because the DC weren't with me, and neither of them did anything, even when my mum told them how upset I was.

Enjoy your red wine, and yes, you are quite right to feel hurt, let down & taken for granted. It's shit. I know it's just a day, but it's rubbish and it hurts, especially when you see other dads being so publicly appreciated.

Teens are arseholes. 6 year old twins up at the crack of dawn badgering all morning to give daddy his present so I spent most of the morning telling them the lie in was the present he wanted most!
Teens rolled out of bed at midday and did a Kevin style strop at having to write the cards and wrap the presents I had bought for them to give.

Tbh I didn't start bothering with Father's Day for my own df until I was an adult myself. Try not to let it get you down, you are essentially a cash machine to teenagers but they get there eventually and underneath all the sullen angst they do actually love you

Fathers’ Day isn’t a real thing.

Grow up

kindness (and I am talking about your response not the OP's teens) is a real thing - so how about YOU grow up.

Teens can be crap. My 3 did fine today because I reminded them and I bought dh a present he'd like from them. they do write nice notes to him (and me) on these days though.

I want to rear children who are considerate of the things that are important to those they love (clearly waxy1 doesn't - if it isn't "real" then fuck off) so I remind right through the teenage years.

That said, look at the totality of your family - not one day designated by others. If you generally feel loved and appreciated as much as you can with teens then let it go. If you are generally ignored and unappreciated, then maybe time for a re-think about your relationships and how you are rearing your children.

I think the mom sets the tone for how Father's Day goes and the Dad sets the tone for how Mother's Day goes - when you have minor aged children.

If one parent doesn't like the other, then it isn't going to go well, either way.

for you @TheFaerieQueene

Teens are horrible self centred little beasts, my youngest got up at 2pm, then came down spitting venom at his dad ..... told him that he had 'left his present in his mates car'! Which generally means I couldn't be arsed and forgot. The older one turned up to see his dad .....completely forgetting he didn't bother to come and see me on mothers day .....still at least he remembered one of us I suppose.

Are you a good dad, op? The sort who shows his dc that he loves them with words and actions, thoughtful gestures, talking through their problems, showing an interest in their life?

If so, they were indeed very inconsiderate and I think it'd be fair enough to sit them down and let them know how disappointed and unappreciated you feel.

If not, or if you didn't help them to make Mother's Day special for your dw, you don't have grounds for complaint imo.

Glad you called it out pallisers

My DD hadn't realised - but I am not bothered. Don't tend to worry too much about facebook either.

That way madness lies!

Sorry you are feeling under appreciated.

I forgot to send my Dad a card, but did remind the teens, who were totally oblivious to it, who then rustled up cards.

Now the kids are teens mothers and fathers days feel a bit forced and fake. Now I am a fully grown adult and my parents are actually old I feel more strongly about letting them know how much I appreciate and care for them.

Except I forgot (remembered, then too busy) to send a card .

Teens! Facebook!

I can go one better. No card (or anything else) left or posted for me, didn’t see them as it wasn’t my weekend and they live a distance away, and had to make do with a phone call on which one of my kids was distracted because they were playing a game on the pc at the same time!

TBH, I was a bit pee’d off with both my exW and my partner. I don’t let my DC forget Mother’s Day, help them choose a gift (and pay for it) or make one, make sure they take it back with them etc and do the same for my partner’s DC for her. Neither of them have ever had nothing.

Yes it’s a “made up” day, yes it’s a lot of commercial crap like Valentine’s - and Mother’s Day for that matter - but it’s one day a year where a tiny bit of effort would go a very long way.