I know this sounds hideously ungrateful but..

[user109842]

Dh has bought me (extravagant) birthday presents knowing that I really dislike things like that. We've been together years. He knows me inside out so why has he done it? If I say then he'll get in a huff, though if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd want to know. If I don't say, then I'll have to suppress huge panic attacks. Wwyd?

I went. I did it. A return flight for a weekend away. Me! I did it! No medication, no alcohol, just a LOT of deep breathing (nearly hyperventilated) but my god I'm so bloody proud of myself

Well done, OP, hopefully the start of a less anxious you! Glad you enjoyed it.

well done op I’m so glad you went and enjoyed yourself

Well done. I know what that’s like. H bought me a “joy” flight in a Ww1 tiger moth. Really? Joy? I don’t think so. He ended up taking our son.

Your beyond phobic of flying but you still managed to go? My DH has anxiety and fear of flying, elevators etc. He won't get on a plane, won't get in an elevator, no matter what I or anyone else has tried, he just physically can't do it. Even when my toddler DS had to have surgery he couldn't physically get onto the hospital elevator to follow the stretcher to the operating wing. Got right to the doors, turned white and nearly passed out. Sorry, but I'm shocked at the number of women on this forum who have 'anxiety'. It's thrown around so easily, almost as if it's an excuse for anything that is a little bit difficult or confronting.

I apologise that I was rude OP. There are just so many posts on here where people use anxiety as an excuse and talk about having a 'panic attack'. It's such an awful thing to live with but chucked around so much when it suits someone. My post was fuelled by the many posts I have read today with someone claiming to have anxiety "I can't confront this person because I have anxiety" "I can't go back to this store because I have anxiety and I was embarrassed by checkout person" "This person was mean to me and I let them because I have anxiety"

Drives me crazy as it minimises the struggles of people with real, life crippling anxiety.

Good on you for pushing yourself to get on the plane OP.

Aus I've ended up on ecg monitors, I've been admitted to resus before, I've had full blown panic attacks where I've been sick whilst hyperventilating. I definitely do know what panic disorder is like and I'll always have it. To go on this trip I bought the Linden Method home programme. I could only do a few days of it but it was enough to get me on a plane ((twice! Sorry still overwhelmed with pride), ride foreign trams and subways (I live in London but haven't ridden a train or tube since 2015), even go in a lift.

I hated the take off. I can't explain in my tone here how much. I asked to get off the plane but they'd shut the doors. I felt I couldn't breathe (I'm asthmatic too so that terrified me). My husband did deep breathing with me until the seatbelt sign was off. I kept busy the entire flight, doing puzzles in magazines, I was too scared to unbuckle by belt or leave my seat but the cruising and landing part I was fine. When we had to takeoff again for the return flight I felt the same, terrified but again, once levelled off I was ok.

What I'm trying to say is I do know. Boy do I know. I'll always hate flying. I'll always hate confined spaces. But now I know I'm brave and I'm in control of anxiety. Anxiety isn't in control of me.

What is the Linden programme op?

A friend mentioned it, I'd never heard of it before. Charles Linden is apparently the anxiety guru to the stars etc. I haven't done it much yet but there are "nine pillars" which you have to follow. He's against the needs for meds etc so it's all mind training, powering through panic and knowledge of anxiety. I've found it really helpful.

That's amazing, well done OP! Sounds like DH wanted to show you what you're capable of. Glad you had a lovely time.