Brave Babes Battle Bus: Sunshine, Roses and Mocktails All Round

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

Summer offers all kinds of challenges for those of us trying to change our relationship to alcohol, pub gardens, summer holidays, school holidays, and apparently there's a big football tournament too. If you want to read where the bus has been so far this year here's the link to the
last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

The Bus is a bit of a Mumsnet institution, but it has an open door policy, no cliques, no judgement, and the welcome is always warm. So hop on and join us.

Iron you are focussed and you obviously realise it is one day at a time. I get what you are saying about Fridays. I love a class at the gym on a Friday and once I’ve done it I don’t even feel like drinking but I often chose not to go for various excuses but really because it messed up my drinking plans but NOW I choose to go to the class. You can choose the sport and see what happens next. I guarantee you will feel so good after and then you are on the ladder of getting back to the “real” you. Well done for making the first steps. And yes you will always have the hecklers trying to get you back on the beer. Just don’t listen. You have made a plan to change. Really rooting for you x

It's been an absolute age since I posted. I'm still AF. 6 months now like some of the others who stopped for 2018. I haven't found the latest spell of hot weather too hard really. I miss smoking though!

I'm having real problems going to the toilet atm. It's been very bad the last week and it's making me miserable. Nothing is working but it does mean I'm only really interested in drinking water.

Sweet I loved Elizabeth is missing! Such a good book. I think it was you who suggested it but it may have been Trust I can't remember now! I'm starting Eleanor Oliphant tonight. That was suggested on here too.

Twattage I hope you've not been too badly affected by the latest rail cock up in London.

Welcome Iron and other newbies/returnees. I think having a good selection of AF alternatives is important especially at first.

Guggs Well done for pouring stuff away! It was a while ago now but still an achievement.

Sorry not to namecheck everyone. I got so far behind I didn't really know where to start. I'll try and post more often as I found the support invaluble when I was starting out. Happy weekend Babes!

bakingcupcakes
I've just finished Elinor Ophiliant. It was rather lovely. I'm halfway through The Keeper of Nice Things at the moment.

Baking !! so good to see you back. We did Dry January together but you have been so much better than me by keeping it going although I have to say I’m actually doing OK now and in a much better place than I was at the beginning of January.
I loved Elizabeth is missing and Eleanor oliphant. Currently reading the retreat by Mark Edwards. I jump about quite a lot in my reading.
mint I will look at the keeper of nice things as it seems we are on the same wavelength.
Iron do you enjoy reading?
By the way went to my works party tonight and did a couple of hours chit chat with a Diet Coke then came away. Feel pretty pleased with myself as I would normally be last man standing. People were surprised when I left but I said I had plans for tomorrow which I actually do but normally I wouldn’t care. Until I woke up in the morning

Morning all and welcome iron.

I didn't end up driving last night because the husband reminded me the parking situation at the hotel where we were going was ridiculous (and it was). Nowhere to park at 6.30. So we got a taxi. I had 2 1/2 peronis with my meal and then came home (didn't finish the last one as didn't feel like it).

I'd much rather focus on the food - we had 3 x tempura prawns for a snack, then I had salmon tartare, and then cod with a crab topping and a cheesy mash which sent me slightly over the edge! Not sure I want to eat for a week now and have used up all my WW treat points in one day!

Salads for me for the rest of the weekend.

Current plan for the day is to go down for a swim when the roads are quiet this pm for obvious reasons :).

I've totally overslept and it's already too hot to run today so going to have to abandon that plan.

Anyway waffling so will stop there. I have Oliphant on my list to read shortly. xxx

baking sorry I just realised you were asking about the trains - well Monday and Tuesday a train actually ran on time and after that I didn't go client-side. It's a total shambles still TBH.

WRT work dos - there was an agency thing on Thursday night which I swerved totally. Everyone else went from work in town - it was rubbish by all accounts. Nothing to eat, people getting shit-faced and losing control - bleurgh. So glad I don't to that stuff any more.

xxx

Trust The Retreat looks a bit creepy for me. I'm not good with scary things. Such a wimp!

Mint D'you mean The keeper of lost things? That's the only one I can find on amazon. It looks quite good though.

Has anyone read The Handmaids Tale? I'm watching it at the moment but thinking about reserving the book. Although the whole idea of it freaks me out I'm finding it strangely compelling.

There's a big works thing on tonight. I'm not going because it's the village fair today and we've got family coming over and I'd rather do/feel safer doing that.

Twattage I've had salmon salads 2 days running and really enjoyed them. I don't think salads are too bad when the weather's good. You do seem excellent at moderating. I keep wondering when I can try moderating again.

Thank you Trust and Twattage and everyone for your warm welcomes. Successfully completed night 2. Forgot to say last night. I walked past the alcohol-free booze and the thought of drinking something that tasted like my tipple (larger) was quite vomit inducing... I did end up OD'ing marginally on sugar last night! :D Stayed up until 2 watching movies.

I'm just getting back into reading. I stopped when my ex-BF was working on his cottage wall in Feb. It's so vivid. It was a Saturday and I'd cancelled the girls that night to see him and no kiddo's. We'd just got back from Screw-fix . I was looking forward to spending some time with him; doing something (getting pissed would have been perfect). Anyway, he ran upstairs like a small child, changed, came down and did this kind of clown jump, clapped his hands together saying: "I'm going to work on my wall for a couple of hours - you can read your book". I felt about 8. Where he was probably trying to being kind, I took it as a dictator-y type scenario. To be fair (on me), he'd had all the bloody week to work on his wall! Time is so precious when you are off kid-duty.

So yes - I have started reading again now.. One is Phil Collins biography and I started the Marion Keys 'Rachel's holiday' someone recommended on here somewhere.

Well done iron - it does sound like he was trying to be nice. When we're drinking a lot we can take all sorts of things the wrong way.

baking - largely yes but still have to be vigilant (as we know from December when things went wrong for me). Full disclosure - I did have 2 1/2 heineken bottles in the PM whilst watching the tennis after we decided I wasn't driving.

So in total 5 over about a 5 hour period + food. When I think I used to neck the best part of 2 bottles of wine on an empty stomach 5 x a week back in the day - makes me feel a bit sick. I'm not hungover, and it didn't make me drunk - controlled behaviour on a Friday after work (which is what I was aiming for).

I put the spare 1/2 bottle back in the fridge. Don't know why it doesn't trigger me - we got back last night and I had no thoughts of drinking it - just went to bed with a litre of fizzy water by my side!

I'm also quite pleased I've managed to get over this work stress hump without slipping into any negative habits. The only thing I've not done is run for 2 weeks - I love the heat but wouldn't mind it coming down a couple of degrees to low 20s so I can do some more exercise.

xxx

@bakingcupcakes Yes! Thats the one. Lost things 🤣

Hi brave babes. I used to be on here as MsHooliesCardigan but, for some reason, my phone stopped letting me post.
To cut a long story short, I have been in rehab since last Thursday because it got to the stage where I was drinking up to 4 bottles of wine a day. I hate it and feel like walking out but I can’t go home because my children are on a CP plan due to my drinking. I take total responsibility for this however the social worker that did the assessment didn’t bother to interview me and the whole report completely failed to mention my ‘D’H raping me, kicking me down the stairs, making constant threats to kill me, cut my head off, crucify me and destroy me, making constant throat slitting gestures as well as throwing me out of the house in the middle of the night with no keys, money or card and a phone with no charge.
He did this once when I was in a t shirt, pyjama bottoms and flip flops when it was minus 3 degrees. I could literally have died of hypothermia.
Before I came here, I was in a refuge for 3 months where Women’s Aid placed me.
I have tried to point out to the social worker that women do not get put into a refuge without a very good reason but she seems to have just fallen for H’s charm and said that I’m making it all up.
I have to stick this out as I’m not allowed to go home anyway.
I am finding it so so hard. I could really do with some words of encouragement.
Sorry about the ‘me’ post,
If I ever get to a better place, hopefully I can be supportive to other people.

Sounds awful misshoolies - think I remember you from a while ago. You’re in a very difficult situation and I suppose you have to just take it one minute at a time. Your recovery is all that matters here,hard though it is.

This is pretty trivial but I did 6 af nights, drank for a few and now i’m back to af for a bit. I’m finding club soda really helpful, there was a live fb video tonight which I watched. Great stuff.

MissHoolie my darling, I've thought about you so much and been very worried. You've been through hell and I can't imagine how awful it's been. Please, you can do this, embrace rehab if you possibly can. It will be hard work but lady you can come back from this. Your intelligent and open, so kick the wine witch in the tits, rest, think and I know, just know you'll come out fighting.

I'll be rooting for you always, you brave, awsome babe

I'm so happy you posted, truly xx

Mshoolies i have often thought about you. How is rehab? Does it feel supportive?

I'm so sorry about your 'd' h behaviour what an abusive man.

Hang on in there you have survived so much shit already. You can so this. One step at a time. One second.

I have entered a marathon and weirdly thought of you. Was it 2 marathons you did?
Xx

Spelling went tits up there in my joy to see you back.

Hope everyone is OK, I'm still hanging on in there despite extreme provocation to go back to the booze.

Well done lux on hanging on in there. Sometimes just bloody hanging on is a massive achievement xx

@MrHoolieswaistcoat. .......so good to hear from you, I was thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you were doing, I’ve thought of you often.
Your husband’s behaviour is shit.
Please keep posting, it’s quiet here at the moment. I haven’t posted for weeks but you’ve inspired me - KOKO you amazingly strong woman.

@MrHoolieswaistcoat - I remember you Miss Hoolies C.
Good for you posting. Use it as your outlet. Rest and be kind to yourself. Sounds like you have been to hell and back. You can do this

It’s an amazing place actually although quite emotionally gruellingly at times and some of the groups are very full on. You literally don’t have to pay for anything- there is a whole kitchen full of food that you can just help yourself to.
My keyworker is a very kind and supportive but quite formidable character who was absolutely incandescent when I told her about the social worker’s report and is going to have ‘serious words’ with her.
I get to see the DC at a contact centre for an hour a fortnight.
I have had a lot of dealings professionally with social services and I have never known anyone have contact leas than once a week and it’s usually more often than that, even when there has been physical abuse or it’s obvious the child/ren are going to be placed for adoption.
Although the rehab place is very relaxed, they are absolutely clear that if you drink even a drop of alcohol, you’re out which is actually what I need - it’s tough but it’s kind of a relief to stop this endless cycle of will I won’t I/how much will I drink?
I know I ‘m doing this for me and the children but part of me wants to prove to ‘D’H and the bitch of a social worker that I can do this.
As David Cameron said, ‘we’re all in this together’ wherever you are at the moment

Saywhen’I’ve done 3 marathons. When is yours? Have you started training yet?

Thank you all so much for your kind words, they have really helped as today has not been great. You’re such a lovely bunch x

Hello misshoolie - we don't know each other but I thought I'd say hello anyway. I think you were posting around December when I first started reading the thread.

Sending a big hug...I hope today is a better day for you. xxx

MrHoolieswaistcoat
I was only thinking about you last week as I have a gratuitous kitten picture I knew you would love. I hope your key worker can get you a new social worker. She sounds awful.
Saywhen
The only marathon I could manage right now is a chocolate one! Well done you on entering. I'm jealous. I need to get back into running .
ma
Will you be at the Air Show down my way in September?

Morning all
Mshoolies I too remember you from before. It sounds like you are in the right place to get support. You are a very strong person to get through what has happened to you and you sound positive now. Keep going x
iron how are things? Are you managing to stay AF? I’ve read Rachel’s holiday a while ago and really enjoyed it. I’ve read all of Marian Keyes.
baking yes the retreat is a little bit scary but a good story.
mint I started reading the Keeper of Lost Things yesterday and am about 3/4 of the way through. I love it so thanks for the recommendation.
Lux sorry to hear you are still going through a bad time. I hope things start to get better.
twattage glad that things are going well for you. You sound in a good place after the ups and downs of previous weeks.
guggs you are doing amazing!
saywhen well done on going for the marathon. Especially training in this heat!!
I am just plodding on. No particular ups or downs. Not been to the gym hardly at all (it’s so hot but can’t complain) but have decided to get back into it starting tonight after work.
Have a good day everyone

Mint kitten pictures are never gratuitous.