Found naked pictures on bf computer

[AlyssaE]

Ok so im 29 years old and have been with my boyfriend for a year. Recently my boyfriend left his fb messages open and I couldn’t resist checking his messages. I know it’s extremely bad and I thought I’d grown up a little more than I apparently have. What’s worse is I actually found something not so good and now, as it usually happens when snooping, I have he info but nothing to do with it. Before me my BF had been sleeping with a girl 10 years younger (he’s 29) and while we were together she sent him both a video of herself in a see through dress, ahem, ‘butt clapping’ on her knees and then a a fully naked photo a few weeks later. To the first he replied with just laughing in a cheeky way and to the second he didn’t reply. A month later she was sending him loads of messages asking to meet up and saying ‘I miss you’ instead of saying ‘I have a girlfriend’ or whatever he said ‘I miss you too’ They do not speak or see eachother at all anymore but still..what do I do?!?

Why has he not blocked her?

Throw him back. He's not a keeper. He's keeping his options open which is really disrespectful to you.

He should have shut her down after the video or blocked her. He hasn't because he loves the attention and she's his plan B.

Dump and move on. While your wasting time with this loser, your actual Mr Right is out there.

Butt clapping

Blatantly only posting to see wtf ‘butt clapping’ is...

Seriously though Op, read your post back and think what you’d advise your friend to do.

What is butt clapping?

I also didn’t know until this whole incident and I asked a friend! Seriously I wouldn’t google it. 😩 I just don’t know it was so long ago now but I can’t seem to get past it..it’s not something that affects us now other than I think he disrespected me and our relationship which obviously makes me feel rubbish

I also need to know what butt clapping is...

But I agree with dump him.

It’s when someone has a large enough butt they can move it in a way so the cheeks kind of’clap’

And they say romance is dead

Hahaha

Run for the hills...run like your tampon string is on fire 🏃🏻‍♀️

This one is not a keeper

Just dump him.

Run. He is not a good bet if he replies with ‘I miss you too’. Either no reply and a block or a simple ‘please stop sending me messages and weird arse cheek antic videos, I am not interested in you or your rear end percussion skills’

Loling at butt clapping which I already knew what it was . How do you know they are not still in contact ?

Tbf I'm a size 6 but I can butt clap so I think most people can do it if they try hard enough... don't ask why I've tried this

OMG you are overreacting... chill out and take a deep breath and weigh up what you really want.

Yes he might of said I miss you too ... but he didn't follow up the message and nothing happened.

So what if the ex was sexy and happy to take photos / videos...

"Rear end percussion skills"

So do wiggle your bum and hope for a clap or do you force a clap using a hand on each cheek?

I am intrigued but really don't want to google.....

I think you are saying that this knowledge has all but killed the relationship but you feel you have no real justification for ending the relationship.

Here's the thing. You don't need a special reason to end the relationship.

You can say to him "I have decided this isn't working for me. Nothing specific, I just don't see a future for us. The relationship doesn't make me feel good any more. I'm sorry but it's over."

Don't waste your youth on a relationship where you feel rubbish, even if you think you might be wrong to feel rubbish. You feel how you feel.

OP - I am also in the ‘over-reaction’ camp.
She sent him some messages. He didn’t encourage her. And - may have said he misses her too - not to hurt her feelings.
If he wanted to be with her - she’d not been his Ex.
If he wanted to cheat - he would have.

Sure - maybe he should have said something to you. But - at the same time - if it didn’t meant that much to him - and he thought you’d feel jealous - he probably just chose not to make a big deal out of it.

If it bothers you a lot - tell him you saw it.

I'd just 'accidentally' block her on his FB...

Blimey, she sounds desperate. Imagine demeaning yourself like that.

Re your issue...I'm usually very robust on this board about Facebook messaging issues between opposite-sex hetero people, but in this case he doesn't appear to have encouraged her so I'm standing up for him, cautiously. He should have blocked her though, having explained why. If he doesn't now get rid of her on social media I'd be concerned.

I’m also in the overreaction camp.
He’s not done anything wrong - she contacted him and he didn’t really respond much at all and certainly didn’t encourage her. Unpair to punish him for his exes actions. The ‘I miss you too’ comment wasn’t great but not a reason to end a relationship. Anyway, he might have missed her - you can miss someone and still be in love with and committed to someone else. I’ve missed ex partners that I have no interest in resuming a relationship with. But to be honest I think he was probably just being polite and trying not to hurt her feelings.

"I miss you too" is encouragement.

They may be in touch via other means? Texting? Phone calls?