Found naked pictures on bf computer

[AlyssaE]

Ok so im 29 years old and have been with my boyfriend for a year. Recently my boyfriend left his fb messages open and I couldn’t resist checking his messages. I know it’s extremely bad and I thought I’d grown up a little more than I apparently have. What’s worse is I actually found something not so good and now, as it usually happens when snooping, I have he info but nothing to do with it. Before me my BF had been sleeping with a girl 10 years younger (he’s 29) and while we were together she sent him both a video of herself in a see through dress, ahem, ‘butt clapping’ on her knees and then a a fully naked photo a few weeks later. To the first he replied with just laughing in a cheeky way and to the second he didn’t reply. A month later she was sending him loads of messages asking to meet up and saying ‘I miss you’ instead of saying ‘I have a girlfriend’ or whatever he said ‘I miss you too’ They do not speak or see eachother at all anymore but still..what do I do?!?

You should be worried, you will never be able to trust him I'm afraid, lots of red flags you've been ignoring.

If it was charged and still switching on, it definitely wasn't an "old" no longer used phone. I think you really should give him the boot, the but clapper is welcome to him. If you stay with him and put up with this you'll be the next ex wife who caught him cheating.

Op for God sake wake up smell the bullshit! He's a cheat, I'd seriously move out even if it's with your family. I've been there when I was young and naive. You are worth so much more and once you find an honest guy who worships the ground you walk on you will look back and cringe and think what the hell was I doing with that

Seriously do you even need to ask???

Run for the hills; this fucker has serial cheat stamped on his forehead in permanent red ink!!

Surely you must see that!!?

Why keep an old phone fully charged?

To my shame I recognised your first post even though it's been resurrected after so long!

My love nobody here is going to say it's ok or make you genuinely feel it's ok. Because it isn't ok with you.

What matters isn't what's right and wrong, it's about how your relationship makes you feel.

You clearly don't have compatible boundaries.

I've been there and it's taken me ten years of bad decisions, counselling and soul searching to be in a relationship where, shock horror, I'm not worried about him hurting me because he makes me feel secure. In words and actions. If that changed, I would leave.

Please don't assume you have to put up with feeling like this - it can be different I promise!

I remember this post as I didn't know what butt clapping was. Leave him. Please.

Last year you found that after you got together, his ex sent him a crude video, a nude photo, plus messages wanting to meet. Instead of drawing a solid boundary, he replied with “I miss you too,” which could be construed as leaving the door cracked.

You never confronted him.

Now you’ve found his fully charged second phone containing his nude photo collection of her, kept for his private personal use. They’ve likely been using this phone all along. His defensive reaction and silencing you are manipulative tactics to make you shut you up and back off.

He cheated on his wife with her best friend.

@Alyssa, please leave this cheating pretender.

Run like the wind!

"I miss you too" is encouragement.

Yup.

Are you listening to us yet ?

What MsDogLady said.
He has a track record of being a cheat.
He has a fully charged phone filled with naked pics on of her.
You know she was sending them whilst you were together.
You know he replied to these saying ‘I miss you’.
If he hasn’t cheated already he will.

Also a side note for all those replied last year thinking this was an overreaction:
If you get a dick pic from your ex whilst you’re in a relationship & you reply ‘I miss you’ thats not monogamous behaviour.

Trust issues makes it sound like your fault - he has twice given you cause to think he might be unfaithful or disrespect you, and he has at least once previously been unfaithful. He has not proved worthy of your trust. I'm sorry you have moved in, it seems like a rethink is in order.

The worst part for me is that you're banned from speaking about it. I wouldn't be able to tolerate that.

‘to feelings of sadness and that he is not worth it.’

Listen to these feelings.

I'd be getting the phone out of the bin, drowning it, smashing it, then setting it on fire, just to make sure it no longer worked - plus it would be rather cathartic

to feelings of sadness and that he is not worth it
No he is NOT worth it.
And you actually know that.
You are worth far more than this.
Just re-read your posts.
Imagine this is your friend writing this.
What do you advise?!
Do the same thing for you.
He's a cheat and a liar and a flirt.
You will never feel 100% trust in this relationship.

Got to laugh how 90% of the replies to 90% of the topics are "dump him" rather than "How do you feel about the relationship other than this?
If everything else is good, then rip him a new arse hole, let him make it up to you and move on.
But leave him in no doubt if he so much as thinks of doing anything similar again he's outta there."

Obviously, in this case with the addition of the second phone it sounds like he's had his second chance and as a PP states, sounds like a serial cheater. I'd be doin g lots of digging before deciding how much hell to make his life!

"Banned" from mentioning it again? No. Nah. Nuh-uh. It's a big GET RID from me, sorry OP.