Would you be angry if ..

[Peachsnowpop]

Ur DH told u he fancied his mates sons girlfriend (16) and he thought she was fit stunning and gorgeous? DH is 41 btw.

Also last year while holding my hand along the street DH saw a woman and said 'hello beautiful'

How exactly was it worded, if it was as you just said then yes, plus I’d be concerned

If my oh actual said he fancied any fit 16 yr old it would piss me off mainly for her age tho. The rest prob wouldn’t bother me nowadays. As long as I was free to do the same if I felt like it.
I would prob go off a man who fancied 16!yr olds tho if I’m honest.

Wtf!! Of course. My ex use to do this about his friends step daughter. Always saying how she was stunning (teenage young girl but not sure how old) him and his friend use to eye her up . It use to make me very uncomfortable. And the hi beautiful is unbelievably disrespectful.

Stunning and gorgeous are fine.
Fancying and fit are not basically

I feel so ugly after his comments - if that makes sense. We all see eye candy we Like but we don't openly admit it. He has made me feel worthless

I'd kick him to the kerb frankly. How disrespectful is he? I wouldn't like a person like that at all. Who exactly does he think he is apart from an asshole?

Eeeek this one is tricky as you can't hear context on the internet! I can certainly say 'what a pretty lad' though I usually only comment if it's someone I come into regular contact with (ie my cousin, my mate's son, etc.) and wouldn't probably just comment on a person walking down the street. The only time my husband outwardly 'appreciates' someone's beauty is if they're a celebrity/movie star. We're both teachers and he's acknowledged that girls in his school are 'pretty' (usually when talking about how horrible they are lol) but it's a purely observational comment, not a sexual one. He would never comment on someone walking down the road! I have no doubt in my mind that he might THINK it at times - goodness sake, I do! - but he certainly doesn't say it out loud (at least not while I'm with him!).

No it's disgusting, sleazy and basically paedophilia. I feel bad for you op, such a horrible situation to be in.

I wouldn't be angry, I'd be disgusted.

You seem more upset that he’s admitted he is attracted to other people than you are that he’s looking at 16 year old girls. He’s repulsive. And no, he shouldn’t say that to you even if he’s disgusting enough to look. He’s making you feel awful and he knows he’s making you feel awful. Why would you want to be with someone like this?

Describing a 16yo as stunning or gorgeous is fine, but saying they're fit and that you fancy them is not (though not paedophilic as a pp suggested).

Saying 'hello beautiful' to a stranger while he held your hand is completely disrespectful. What are you going to do about it?

I would be angry. I'd assume he was making a point about my looks and attractiveness versus theirs.

I'd mainly be repulsed by him and to clarify after his statement I'd ask him, " oh you mean xxxx? Who's 16 and young enough to be your daughter, xxxx who would probably upchuck if she ever heard you say that? Yeah she quite pretty, tell you what let's finish this, because frankly you make me sick and then you're free to go and proposition the poor girl. 🤢

He sounds vile op, ltb.

I wouldn't be angry, I'd be disgusted

@RainySeptember, in Ireland, where I live, the age of consent is 17, so therefore yes, paedophilic.

Calling a woman "fit" is beyond creepy imo. Just the worst descriptor ever. I've dumped a bloke in the past for talking like that, I just can't stand the objectification of women. So I feel sorry for you that you married someone who's that sleazy.

Eww gross. He called someone beautiful? Good god no op. You need to leave this asshole.

Sadiesnakes, still not paedophilic, which describes an attraction to prepubescent children.

Daisychain, I have friends who use the word 'fit' to describe men. I'm surprised it's offensive. What word should I encourage them to use to describe someone sexually attractive to them?

If my DH ever said he fancied one of our teens friends or indeed anyone in that age group I would be beyond disgusted. I would consider this to be a defect I couldn’t move past. He would have to go, no way could I have a group of poor unsuspecting kids innocently going about their business with some sicko man lusting after them in the background. Repulsive.

@RainySeptember paedophilia is an attraction to underage children. If op's dh were to have sex with a 16 year old, he would be labelled a paedophile in court and signed to a sex offenders register.

I’d be angry (and repulsed) because she was 16yrs.

It wouldn’t make me feel ugly or worthless. It would make him look ugly and worthless to me, though.

Sadiesnakes, being attracted to children in mid to late adolescence, age 15-19, is ephebophilia.

It’s not just the age. It’s his friend’s son’s girlfriend. Seriously, isn’t that almost like fancying your own child’s girlfriend? Just ew.

And he wouldn't be labelled a paedophile in court as it isn't a legal definition. OP's dp is sleazy and disrespectful but I don't think there's any need to make her feel worse by throwing that word around.