Would you be angry if ..

[Peachsnowpop]

Ur DH told u he fancied his mates sons girlfriend (16) and he thought she was fit stunning and gorgeous? DH is 41 btw.

Also last year while holding my hand along the street DH saw a woman and said 'hello beautiful'

sleazy...sorry x

@RainySeptember, don't be so pedantic,🙄
Most people would label a 41 yr old sexually attracted to an underage 16 yr old a paedophile.

No they wouldn't. It doesn't fit the definition of paedophilia at all and that word should not be thrown around without understanding it.

Yes it's creepy and disrespectful. I couldn't be with such a letch on both counts.

I'm a 'cool wife' on a lot of counts but this makes me feel queasy even over the internet. Stunning and beautful ok, fit and fancying not! And i dont mind comments about seeing beautiful women, but NOT acting on it, especially like that! I'd be too nauseous and embarassed to be with him.

If he's saying hello beautiful to another woman whilst holding your hand what the hell is he saying to them when you're not around?

Bin him. He's a sleezebag, and if you continue in a relationship with him your feelings of self worth will get worse and worse, I was with a guy years ago who would compare me to other women and he nearly destroyed me.

I would be inclined to ask him if he realised how creepy he sounds and does he want to be thought of as a dirty old man.

Ugggh. Nothing wrong with saying x is a pretty girl isn't she? But sayings she's fit is letchy.

Ew.

It's creepy.

I'd think I'd married a creep.

Gross.
Id be concerned about who I married.

A 16 year old is still an adolescent not an adult at all in my book.

As for calling out to random women in your presence, that just shows how much he objectifies women in general.
Doing this all in fromt of you suggests a comllete lack of respect for you also.

What a complete prick.

I wouldn't label him a paedophile. I think it's quite understandable that a man may be attracted to a young woman.

Voicing his attraction could be weird, depends on how and why he said it.

What word should I encourage them to use to describe someone sexually attractive to them?

RainySeptember Why do you even feel the need to "encourage" (presumably) autonomous adult men to vocalise their sexual preferences. Why do you feel that's your role in life?

To my mind that's none of anyone's business. Calling someone "fit" says a lot about that person's attitude and mentality, and I wouldn't bother engaging with them. I certainly couldn't muster up the energy to point out why it's sleazy. Their problem not mine.

Jumping into the side debate.
In the uk the age of consent is 16 yrs. Doesnt mean that at 16 they are emotionally ready or not subject to coersion by someone older and manipulative.

The term fit in the urban dictionary simply refers to someone who is good looking. I suspect aversion to that particular word is generational.

Saying someone is pretty is a lot different to saying they fancy her and as a pp said context is important.
Did he just come out with it.

The Hey beautiful is not on at all.

The urban dictionary includes slang, Internet-speak, text-speak. Doesn't necessarily have anything to do with people's age. I'm probably a snob, but then again, I must have been a snob at the age of 17, which was when I ditched the slime-ball. I just never went for men who talked like that about women.

Funnily enough, DH mentioned randomly last week that he heard someone ogling a woman, saying "Cor she's fit!!" and he said it turned his stomach so I know I've married the right person

Sleazy at best. Bet he watches Love Island et al too, which normalises such attitudes. Is he doing it to deliberately reduce your self esteem?

Oh yuck no, that's just gross. I am cringing just reading it.

Daisychain, I said it was my female friends who used the word 'fit' when referring to men. You also showed great objection to the word, which I personally don't understand. I hate the idea that my lovely friends might be inadvertently offending people in rl by using the term so I was merely asking your advice. All quite non confrontational I thought. What word do you use to describe someone you fancy?

I feel sorry for you

Rainy the OP said her DH used the word 'fit' to describe another woman and asked for opinions. I think it shows a remarkable lack of self-awareness for someone to say that, in front of their partner.

If your friends use the word fit about someone, as a single person then hey, it's a free country, they can say what they like. If they say it when on a night out with their partner, then I wouldn't be impressed that they care so little about their partner's feelings that they would say it. It's up to you if you want to be brave enough to tell them what to say or not say. Only you know how they would react to being told.

Urgh, grim. He needs to learn to keep his letching to himself.

Admiring beauty is one thing but you're on tricky ground when you're a 41 year old man talking about a 16 year old. It's one thing if you'd met her together and when you left one of you said, XX's GF is a lovely looking girl or what a beautiful girl and then it was left at that then fine but he's so sleezy saying he fancies her. Fit to me thinking about it now has a sexual connotation - just googled and on the student room it means men think she's hot and they want to have sex with her. The other example is as bad, if not worse as he humiliated you in front of her. You really can't be considering staying with him, surely?

He sounds the type to say "I'd give her one" or "I would" with a smirk. You're not one of the lads. He's confused you with his mates. But who'd want someone that talks like that generally anyway.

16 year olds look like children to me, I’m 38. I wouldn’t like it at all.