Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Eeee! I'm excited but have I messed it up

80 replies

Solotraveller2018 · 02/06/2018 00:10

So I've been working on a project with two colleagues and I've developed a slight crush on one of them because he has been so lovely to me and to work with. It was quite a stressful project and he really made me feel at ease and welcome.

Anyway he's not normally my type and I'm not sure physically how much I fancy him but at the same time I do love his personality and he makes me laugh and so I sort of do fancy him a bit now.

Our project came to an end last week and there's no reason for me to see him anymore as we are both moving on. But the last day of the project I got a feeling that maybe he liked me too, very huggy and touchy and all this week he has been messaging me. Yesterday he invited me for dinner with his friends and then to a concert and I agreed to go and he was very sweet and attentative and at the end he tried to kiss me. Except I think I was so startled I stopped it and blurted out 'won't this be awkward if we have to work together again' and I think I kind of killed the mood. I also didn't really want to kiss him in front of his friends.

basically the concert was at an end at that point anyway and i walked to the bus stop with him and it was all friendly but then we went our separate ways. I did message him to say I enjoyed myself and we should do it again and he just yes we shall which was very unlike the previous messages he'd been sending and I've not really heard from him.

I suppose I also feel quite nervous. It's been a long time since I kissed or dated anyone so I don't think I really handled it that well. And I'm not sure whether I want a long term thing or whether this would be a fling and what if it goes wrong.

OP posts:
Helloflamingogo · 02/06/2018 23:27

I wouldn’t have gone either OP but it sounds like he’s keen. I’m all for letting him chase but don’t let him get the idea you’re not interested at all

SnowGoArea · 02/06/2018 23:28

Oh no don't do the game playing that your friend suggests, it's so hard work and confusing for all involved. Just be straight up, easy going and clear how you feel next time. If he's still interested then that'll be a breath of fresh air for both of you Smile

beIindaBlinked · 02/06/2018 23:32

Be brave !
Be bold !
Text him and say next time he goes in for a kiss you won't pull back ;)

Solotraveller2018 · 02/06/2018 23:43

Text him that now?!

OP posts:
Redkat · 03/06/2018 00:03

Do it. You will be awake all night wondering...

Helloflamingogo · 03/06/2018 00:58

Maybe not with no lead in!

Solotraveller2018 · 03/06/2018 09:57

Yeh ok. I think I have to be patient. I'm hoping he will message me before we're meant to meet for these drinks on Thursday.

OP posts:
Helloflamingogo · 03/06/2018 10:06

What about texting him saying you’re looking forward to those drinks but next time you’d like to see him alone. Or after the drinks?

HotSauceCommittee · 03/06/2018 10:09

Good luck, OP! I’m rooting for you!

Horsemad · 03/06/2018 10:26

Text him today asking how his party went and does he fancy meeting up for a *walk/coffee/drink - delete as appropriate or do all three.
And then report back please!!!

Solotraveller2018 · 03/06/2018 10:35

Haha thank you!!!

I feel like I'm being a bit pathetic but I think I'm just going to wait and keep busy. I know he is doing online dating at the moment too and I suppose I just don't want to seem overly keen or like a fool.

OP posts:
TitZillas · 03/06/2018 10:56

He’s definitely keen! He tried to kiss you?
Look at it from his POV - I’d be feeling rejected if it was me. I think you need to show him you are keen, if in fact you are.

NeonK · 03/06/2018 11:09

Sorry OP, but if I were him I'd be thinking you weren't interested or playing games.

He tried to kiss you, you knocked him back; he asks you out, you say no. I wouldn't be risking rejection a third time. I think the ball is in your court.

Horsemad · 03/06/2018 11:34

Yeah, come on OP he's made the effort and you've been a bit reticent (which you are perfectly within your rights to be, btw), so don't be surprised now if he cools it. You are going to have to be proactive... 😉

JellyBean31 · 03/06/2018 11:45

Shy girls get nowt Wink

Solotraveller2018 · 03/06/2018 11:49

Ok I definitely see where you're coming from...but can I just ask, if I asked him to meet up and hang out but said no to his offer of his friend's birthday surely that means I'm keen but just maybe to see him alone?

OP posts:
TitZillas · 03/06/2018 12:18

I might be wrong here - but I’d go with the honest option every time.
Tell him you are a bit shy, hence your surprise when he tried to kiss you and also that you would feel shy and awkward in front of his friends which is why you declined the party invitation - but that you do like him and would really like to see him - alone would be perfect.

Horsemad · 03/06/2018 13:09

Yes, tell him you are shy and would prefer it to be just you two for now.
Do it!!!

PolkaHots · 03/06/2018 14:33

You say you want to meet up, he says great come to a party, you say no. He will just see that as another rejection. Which it was. If I were him I would be thinking you were blowing hot and cold. Which you are.

Solotraveller2018 · 03/06/2018 15:31

Ok I've messaged him just some general chit chat and hoping he replies and then I'll ask him if he's free tonight. He seems quite sociable so I'm not sure he'll be alone.

It was a lot easier with my last boyfriend. We just kept meeting up alone until it gradually just happened.

OP posts:
Horsemad · 03/06/2018 15:47

Well Done! ☺️ And if he isn't available tonight, don't be downhearted, make an alternative suggestion & go from there.

Solotraveller2018 · 03/06/2018 16:47

So he messaged back and said he had a brilliant time and was up until 4am and he was trying not to fall asleep and I replied but not heard anything. I'm not very good at this. I'm definitely not an initiator

OP posts:
Spottybotty14 · 03/06/2018 17:24

Oh my god.....
right, you rejected the blokes kiss, then said no about going to a party.... if you really like this guy you are going to have to give him something more enthusiastic......
you either need to send one of the messages above “sorry I froze when you kissed me etc etc” or you need to explicitly ask him out on a date, the two of you. Personally I think this poor bloke has done plenty of chasing and I wouldn’t blame him if he never contacted you again...
Grow a pair... please

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 03/06/2018 18:20

I'm not an initiator. I'd text something like "Kicking myself for pulling back the other night. I wasn't expecting it."

And see where that goes.

Solotraveller2018 · 03/06/2018 18:37

Omg! I did it - so I text him and said sorry I panicked. But how about we try again some other time?

Then I panicked and quickly sent a follow up saying obviously fine not too as well if you don't want.

And he replied back and said no worries and yes let's! And was very sweet!

I'm in heaven. Thank you everyone!!!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread