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Original poster

A holiday moan..

61 replies

Spanglyprincess1 · 29/05/2018 23:52

On holiday, I'm 35 weeks pregnant so was car trip and ferry. DP is having a ball and doing lots of stuff he's interested in as not been to this area for a long time. I'm keeping up just but really struggling due to exhaustion and lack of mobility. He wants to do stuff all day everyday. Were visiting sites mostly only ones he's interested in from around 9am until around 6 pm ish with 1-2 hrs driving a day.
Am I being unfair in wanting a more balanced holiday? Normally I'd be up for doing stuff all the time but I'm soo tierd. I want some couple time. Snuggling and reading or sitting on a beach for a few hours (not all day). He's been wanting a drink too which means I'm doing around a third of the driving normally not an issue but again I'm struggling due to bump.
I had some spotting a few days ago which panicked me but everything is okay with bump. But I want a day off just to sleep and relax with a book etc. I would ideally like him to stay with me as I don't speak local language, he does reasonably well and have a phone etc just in case there is an emeegancy or maybe him go out for a few hours on his own but not all day.
Also I'd quite like some sex...tmi ...but I know in a few weeks baby will be here so was hoping to use time to be close as a couple.
He's been sweet telling me how much he loves me etc, so it's not all bad tbh.

I know I'm moaning..just needed a grumble!

OP posts:

bluebell34567 · 29/05/2018 23:57

I think its normal you feel like to rest and I think you need it.
if i were you i wouldnt do that much. good luck with birth

Fuckwithnosensesauce · 30/05/2018 04:41

He sounds like he is having a great holiday. Suggest you send him off and away for a day and sleep and snuggle by yourself. My husband unhelpfully completely went off sex when I was pregnant! I hope you have better luck...

Shoxfordian · 30/05/2018 04:50

Did you tell him you're tired and you don't want to go out every day looking at stuff?

Dopplerineffect · 30/05/2018 06:40

Were visiting sites mostly only ones he's interested in from around 9am until around 6 pm ish with 1-2 hrs driving a day

Maybe he is trying to enjoy himself before the baby arrives as this sort of day will be exhausting with a baby or toddler.

A haooy medium should be fairer. At least a few days relaxing.

speakout · 30/05/2018 06:50

He sounds an arse.

But why agree to a holiday like this when so heavily pregnant?

9am until around 6 pm ish with 1-2 hrs driving a day. And this sounds mental.
I would not be happy being abroad when so close to due date.
What if you go into labour?- I hope your insurance covers you.

ScrubTheDecks · 30/05/2018 06:53

Tell him how you are feeling!

And tell him to imagine walking round all these sights with a 5l flagon of cooking oil strapped round his waist.

Ickyockycocky · 30/05/2018 06:56

Bloody hell, all I wanted to do at 35 weeks was a bit of gentle walking and plenty of time with my feet up. That’s not a holiday for you at 35 weeks, it’s torture.

Sirzy · 30/05/2018 06:58

Can you not say “you go out im just going to relax a bit today?”

Bue · 30/05/2018 07:02

I'm not sure it's really fair to expect him to sit and read with you all day. Either send him off on his own for the day or suggest a happy medium. Morning sightseeing, afternoon relaxing?

AnyFucker · 30/05/2018 07:06

Haven't you got a voice ?

Waitingonasmiley42 · 30/05/2018 07:08

Did you go to a hospital to get the spotting checked out??

Tell him you need to rest and then do it.

MrsRonBurgundy · 30/05/2018 07:38

Even if you weren't heavily pregnant I'd still think he was being really selfish for not considering what you enjoy on holiday! However add in the pregnancy aspect and he's being a dick, he should be being considerate towards you and what you feel up to doing.
It's not clear from your OP whether you've spoken to him about it though?

BlueTrousers · 30/05/2018 07:52

I’m always baffled by people’s inability to speak to their significant other
DH - want to visit x x & x tomorrow?
You - no I’m heavily pregnant you morontired I want to have a chill day on the beach
DH - ok
Ta da! Problem solved!

BlueTrousers · 30/05/2018 07:53

Eurgh strike out fail

Original poster

Spanglyprincess1 · 30/05/2018 08:59

Insurance- yet fully covered and rang them to check. I'm low risk so it's fine and it covers labour.
No to.hospital ref the spotting. Rang midwife and said was ok was just one day and baby movemmentts been normal but keep an eye on it.

We talked pre holiday about how I may struggle and fact I would need more rest due to baby. I didn't expect it to be this hard tbh. I specifically said I didn't want to drive as I struggle to concentrate but that appears to changed slightly, although he's still doing lions share.

I spoke to him this morning. He won't do a half day out and half chilling as it's a waste of time. He's happy to leave me where we're staying but it's remote hence my concern ref an emergency. I'm staying home.today anyway as I can't do another day today. I have virtually no food though and he's being slightly stroppy about going to get some for me in the car as he wants to go out now adventuring.

I agree ref kids as this type of holiday wouldn't work so I do understand. I mostly want someone to rub my swollen legs/feet and have loads of snuggly time which dosnt seem to be happening at all which is a bit sad.

We went on this holiday despite my slight reservations as it was our only week ref hiss work he could have off and our last feasible free time together (the stepkids are away with their mom this week). It was pitched as us time which sounded fab pre baby

OP posts:

speakout · 30/05/2018 09:10

OP I am sorry but this does nor bode well for the future.

He is treating you like shit.

AnyFucker · 30/05/2018 09:23

He sounds bloody awful

Original poster

Spanglyprincess1 · 30/05/2018 09:59

I have food now :) and chocolates to cheer me up! So not all bad

OP posts:

AttilaTheMeerkat · 30/05/2018 10:04

If you are given food and chocolates to cheer you up and write well its not all bad then more fool you.

This is bad, very bad and I doubt very much he will at all become less selfish when he is a father to your child. He has been supremely selfish when it has come to this holiday in the first place; your wishes are really of scant importance to him.

lapenguin · 30/05/2018 10:17

Surely he can relax for one day? It's not just holidays that become difficult with a baby or toddler. So does sleep and quiet time!

Joysmum · 30/05/2018 10:22

You’re with a man who has no empathy and won’t compromise. I’m sorry but I think this is the start of you seeing him meeting his wants and never considering your needs. I think you’ll begin to see a pattern if you open your eyes to it.

Waitingonasmiley42 · 30/05/2018 15:37

He sounds like a prick!

SharpLily · 30/05/2018 16:07

You're 35 weeks pregnant and "He won't do a half day out and half chilling as it's a waste of time" . Sorry, Spangly but he sounds awful. He needs a few home truths drilled into him - and a massive injection of empathy. Is there any way you can sit down and have a serious talk with him about the changes you are both experiencing - are you capable of being forceful enough on this point? Because he really, really needs to learn how to put his ego aside if you're going to be a happy family. At the moment it sounds like what he decides goes.

femidom12 · 30/05/2018 16:29

Dickhead alert

ScrubTheDecks · 30/05/2018 17:52

I am now wondering why his first marriage ended!

He is not behaving well.

Moaning about picking up some shopping before leaving his very pg wife alone in a remote spot...

Seriously if he does not shape up quickly I would insist on couples counselling and discuss his lack of empathy and consideration towards you.

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