A holiday moan..

[Spanglyprincess1]

On holiday, I'm 35 weeks pregnant so was car trip and ferry. DP is having a ball and doing lots of stuff he's interested in as not been to this area for a long time. I'm keeping up just but really struggling due to exhaustion and lack of mobility. He wants to do stuff all day everyday. Were visiting sites mostly only ones he's interested in from around 9am until around 6 pm ish with 1-2 hrs driving a day.
Am I being unfair in wanting a more balanced holiday? Normally I'd be up for doing stuff all the time but I'm soo tierd. I want some couple time. Snuggling and reading or sitting on a beach for a few hours (not all day). He's been wanting a drink too which means I'm doing around a third of the driving normally not an issue but again I'm struggling due to bump.
I had some spotting a few days ago which panicked me but everything is okay with bump. But I want a day off just to sleep and relax with a book etc. I would ideally like him to stay with me as I don't speak local language, he does reasonably well and have a phone etc just in case there is an emeegancy or maybe him go out for a few hours on his own but not all day.
Also I'd quite like some sex...tmi ...but I know in a few weeks baby will be here so was hoping to use time to be close as a couple.
He's been sweet telling me how much he loves me etc, so it's not all bad tbh.

I know I'm moaning..just needed a grumble!

He’s being incredibly selfish and mean. Even if you weren’t pregnant it’s really selfish to not consider your partners wants in a holiday at all, the fact you’re so pregnant makes it even worse. He’s thinking only of himself and really showing you who he is. I’m shocked you don’t think he’s an arse for this!

'but if he wanted days out etc ontop then he would be taking all the children himself so I could have a break plus paying for it as I will be on mat pay by then and have paid for rest of holiday.
He seemed okay ish with that, so I think this is a blip as this holiday is something he is excited about doing for years so might be coming across a bit wrong.'

There's so much wrong with all this. That you had to set out to him that he has to look after his bloody kids on holiday and he was 'okay ish' with that. The paying for it.

He's unsupportive, selfish and tight.

I can't imagine why his marriage broke up .

The one thing you should NOT do is jack in FT work to look after the baby with this bloke. You are not married and he's a selfish, tight, unsupportive dick.

You paid for the holiday you are having jointly with him and his kids and he assumed you would also pay for him to look after his own kids?

I'm staggered.

I have no intention of not working full time post baby. I only sorted the holiday for school hols as I earn a lot more than he does and I wanted the children to have something nice. This was also why discussing finances was something I felt it was appropriate to do as it's important. He's paid half for this trip , so does pay his way. He also pays much more than CSA level maintenance for the kids (not that that is relevent)

I know why his first marriage broke up, we have known each other since we were children and I know his ex (though we lost contact for a number of years after I moved away for work). They were divorced for over five years before we got together. He has always been there for his kids and has them 50% of the time. He is a genuinely good dad to the children.

He has some issues and isn't perfect but I don't pretend to be perfect either!

Not trying to downplay the one sided bit of this holiday though...but I'm learning from it for the future and hopefully this is a good thing for future holidays as means im more aware of need to talk through needs etc.

I think he saw you coming OP

If he has them 50% of the time he wouldn't be required to pay anything under CSA rules would he? Or have things changed?

Happypoobum - you are correct but and I don't want to go into why his ex insists if he didn't pay then he can't see them as she needs the money. It isn't right but way it is. So he pays. I personally don't agree but it's for the children, so well what do you do? . We ahve them between 12 and 18 overnights a month.

Give him a rucksack weighing about two and a half stone to lug around with him and strap on to his front whilst driving and see if that helps him develop some empathy
This^^ when I was expecting my first DH was extremely considerate as I got bigger, he told me how eye-opening it had been carrying around his DD at 1 month old all day in a sling, he apologised to his now ex-w profusely that day for lacking sufficient consideration in the later stages of her pregnancy. It should be compulsory for all expectant fathers- he is generally a considerate person but just hadn’t understood exactly how difficult it was (and obviously that was without the actual side-effects of pregnancy on top)

Hmm. I think you need to keep a careful eye on his behaviour. He has got a selfish streak a mile wide.

Ok-ish does not bode well, sorry.
I'll stick with my original judgement of him being a twat-this holiday isn't just a 'blip', it's him showing you who he really is.

I still stand by my first post. He’s showing a streak of selfishness and lack of empathy. I think if you’re eyes are open to this you’re likely to see it’s actually a pattern of behaviour you’ve oblivious to previously. I’m hope I’m wrong but I fear I’m not.