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Original poster

A holiday moan..

61 replies

Spanglyprincess1 · 29/05/2018 23:52

On holiday, I'm 35 weeks pregnant so was car trip and ferry. DP is having a ball and doing lots of stuff he's interested in as not been to this area for a long time. I'm keeping up just but really struggling due to exhaustion and lack of mobility. He wants to do stuff all day everyday. Were visiting sites mostly only ones he's interested in from around 9am until around 6 pm ish with 1-2 hrs driving a day.
Am I being unfair in wanting a more balanced holiday? Normally I'd be up for doing stuff all the time but I'm soo tierd. I want some couple time. Snuggling and reading or sitting on a beach for a few hours (not all day). He's been wanting a drink too which means I'm doing around a third of the driving normally not an issue but again I'm struggling due to bump.
I had some spotting a few days ago which panicked me but everything is okay with bump. But I want a day off just to sleep and relax with a book etc. I would ideally like him to stay with me as I don't speak local language, he does reasonably well and have a phone etc just in case there is an emeegancy or maybe him go out for a few hours on his own but not all day.
Also I'd quite like some sex...tmi ...but I know in a few weeks baby will be here so was hoping to use time to be close as a couple.
He's been sweet telling me how much he loves me etc, so it's not all bad tbh.

I know I'm moaning..just needed a grumble!

OP posts:
WhiteCat1704 · 30/05/2018 19:02

It's bad OP. It will get so much worse when you give birth...if I were you I would start insisting on more support ASAP

DownAtFraggleRock · 30/05/2018 20:58

Wow. It's all about him, isn't it? Selfish arse.

Original poster
Spanglyprincess1 · 30/05/2018 21:16

I don't think he's a dickhead tbh. Just slightly thoughtless sometimes and I prob need to be more assertive about my needs.
I slept all day today bar getting up for lunch and feel soo much better for doing so!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 30/05/2018 21:30

I'm not surprised his prior marriage ended. He's a weapons grade cunt. He found another mark and procreated again.

This is who he is, OP, a selfish prick who puts himself first always and has no empathy or support for the mothers of his children. He's the Great I Am.

You're more likely to get snuggles out of a starving stoat.

'D'P, my arse.

expatinscotland · 30/05/2018 21:31

'I don't think he's a dickhead tbh. Just slightly thoughtless sometimes '

Sadly, I believe you are mistaken. ALL of his actions on this holiday have shown he is in fact a dickhead.

Cambionome · 30/05/2018 22:23

Total dickhead. Sad

Sametimesameplace · 30/05/2018 22:43

If he’s not a dickhead why is he not considering you?

Aussiebean · 31/05/2018 07:11

When we thought about a babymoon type holiday we were seriously thinking of Paris.

But we realised that I struggled with travelling far, walking or standing for long wasn’t possible and I was exhausted. We realised that it would be a waste of money or be disappointed because we (I) would love to see everything.

So we went to Cambridge. Picked a hotel close to the center. Went for a wander, then had lunch and a nap. Then another wander and dinner.

We watched movies, read books, slept and relaxed.

Was also good we didn’t go to Paris as I picked up a sinus infection.
Paris will wait til baby can stay with the grandparents.

By the sounds you were too ambitious about what you were capable of along with a partner who didn’t want to waste time or money going there and doing nothing. Which is actually exactly what you needed.

Original poster
Spanglyprincess1 · 01/06/2018 10:16

Aussie bean - yep I think that is what happened. I've had two days now of doing nothing while he's gone out all day and I feel better for it tbh.
I think I would have gone with a cheaper more local break if I'd been aware of how much id struggle.

OP posts:
goose1964 · 01/06/2018 10:24

this sounds a bit like my DH on holiday. Sometimes I stay behind and relax. If he stays he gets itchy feet and needs to get out at some point. When the kids were all walking and talking most times at least one of them would go with him but I did get left with all 3 at times.

I doubt if he will change so you need to not sweat the small stuff and please ourself

BewareOfDragons · 01/06/2018 10:25

I spoke to him this morning. He won't do a half day out and half chilling as it's a waste of time. He's happy to leave me where we're staying but it's remote hence my concern ref an emergency. I'm staying home.today anyway as I can't do another day today. I have virtually no food though and he's being slightly stroppy about going to get some for me in the car as he wants to go out now adventuring.

What the hell?!? YOU ARE 35 WEEKS PREGNANT AND HE'S BEING STROPPY?!? About making sure his pregnant wife has enough food? And rest? And is exhausted from being out all day every day so HE can adventure.

I'm sorry, OP, but this doesn't bode well for what's coming when have a baby and you're even more exhausted and sleep deprived then you are now. He's a complete and utter selfish dick by the sounds of it.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 01/06/2018 11:21

I agree he's a dickhead, I think you're in denial about this fact.
He was stroppy because at 35 weeks pregnant you dared to request he go & get food for your day prior to his 'adventuring' Hmm That isn't simply thoughtless, it's him being an absolute twat.
I can well imagine why his previous relationship went pear shaped...

expatinscotland · 01/06/2018 12:43

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

Sametimesameplace · 01/06/2018 12:49

I wouldn’t want to do that kind of holiday, 9-6pm full on, even without the pregnancy. He sounds like hard work and very selfish.

ToffeeUp · 01/06/2018 13:01

Selfish dick. Next holiday will be the same, you will be left holding the baby whilst he is off enjoying himself.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 01/06/2018 13:06

Wow! I do sometimes have a moan that my DH enjoys relaxing on hols too much! But I couldn't cope with this

notacooldad · 01/06/2018 13:14

Bloody hell, it's all about him usnt it.
He is a lot more than a little thoughtless.
He is really selfish and has a poor attitude towards you.

Lets hope your future is better with him than the present.

Takinrujomu · 01/06/2018 13:26

At 35 weeks pregnancy I don't think any woman would like to go on such a holiday. I thought holidays were meant to be enjoyed by everyone. Sounds like it's one sided here and you are stuck indoors with chocolates!
I agree with the previous comments here. You seem to be in denial with your DH's attitude. If this is how he is without a child in the mix, it is worrying how he will be once the baby arrives.
I hope it all works out for you.. However the writing is on the wall...

Fuckwithnosensesauce · 01/06/2018 14:53

i am sure you are very happy in your relationship O P and i wish you well. However, i am not sure if you DP is in the right headspace to be a parent in 5 weeks time. If he can't show you any compassion now when things are relatively simple, what kind of partner is he going to be for the relatively short period of time your baby is young and most demanding?
I would suggest you are more assertive about your needs and have a chat about this side of him sooner rather than later otherwise he will continue to walk all over you.
All the best with the baby.

yetmorecrap · 01/06/2018 15:01

Just tell him, I’ve found many men , even nice ones, are poor at picking up on subtle clues, you just have to come out with it as personally I think this is no holiday for you at that stage

Motoko · 01/06/2018 15:11

However, i am not sure if you DP is in the right headspace to be a parent in 5 weeks time.

He's already a parent. OP mentioned her step kids being away with their mother this week.
One wonders why that relationship ended. I suspect he was like this with his ex.

OP, he's selfish, not thoughtless. That was quite obvious when after you'd explained to him you needed a break from the constant sightseeing, he got stroppy. A considerate partner who was just a bit thoughtless, would have been horrified for not considering how you feel, and would do anything to rectify that.

This is your future, unless you take off your rose tinted glasses and do something about it.

MyKingdomForBrie · 01/06/2018 15:22

Hanging out the red flag bunting for you here OP..

Seriously, does he not care about your feelings? Why is it ok to make you do what he wants then not in return do what you want? His ‘compromise’ is just to do what he wants anyway and leave you behind - that’s really not caring about you at all.

Wherearemymarbles · 01/06/2018 15:50

Seems he has a spectacular inability to compromise where his desires are concerned. Doesnt bode well.

I suspect once the baby arrives your rose tinted glasses will miraculously disappear!

I thimk you are going to have to be a whole lot more assertive

eurochick · 01/06/2018 16:11

What a knobhead. Give him a rucksack weighing about two and a half stone to lug around with him and strap on to his front whilst driving and see if that helps him develop some empathy.

Original poster
Spanglyprincess1 · 01/06/2018 16:20

Thank you to everyone for their replies.
Normally this is exactly my type of holiday as I love being busy so I do have to take some responsibility for not realising how hard I would find it this pregnant.
We talked today and I stayed home again to sleep which has made me feel much better. He also has agreed to do rest of driving due to me being so tierd.
In regard to being assertive yes I do need to be a bit more so regarding my needs. Were taking all the children (yes he has three from previous marriage) away in summer holiday when baby will be around 6 -8weeks old to a beach in the uk. We talked last night about that holiday and I made it very clear I would be either in beach or in garden with baby as I will be tierd. Children can play on beach - bought loads of games etc for them but if he wanted days out etc ontop then he would be taking all the children himself so I could have a break plus paying for it as I will be on mat pay by then and have paid for rest of holiday.
He seemed okay ish with that, so I think this is a blip as this holiday is something he is excited about doing for years so might be coming across a bit wrong.

OP posts: