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Original poster

Partner paying ex maintenance

67 replies

Bex2311 · 29/05/2018 20:47

Just opinions please...
So my fiance who I live with and am pregnant to is out off work atm He has a daughter to a previous relationship and pays his ex 30/40per week... I have a six year old and am 12 weeks pregnant... I work part-time and pay all the bills. Including food shopping. I don't receive any money from my fiance. Is this fair? I feel awful but he is living in this house and not contributing financially at all.

OP posts:
WhoWants2Know · 29/05/2018 20:48

No. If he's not contributing then he shouldn't be living in your house

Steeley113 · 29/05/2018 20:49

What he pays his ex has nothing to do with you (and 30/40 a week is pathetic btw). However, he should be contributing to your home together and you should ask him to do so.

Bangojam · 29/05/2018 20:49

Well he sounds like a right catch

Afterthestorm · 29/05/2018 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissVanjie · 29/05/2018 20:52

His lack of contribution to you is nothing to do with him supporting his existing family. He is a waster, and he would still be a waster if he was giving you money and nothing to his ex. If he’s going to go about impregnating women, he has to support all of the children he creates. Give his cocklodging arse an ultimatum.

NancyJoan · 29/05/2018 20:52

No, he’s massively taking the piss. What the plan for when the baby arrives? Is he job hunting?

MissVanjie · 29/05/2018 20:53

X post with Steeley.

NeverTwerkNaked · 29/05/2018 20:53

Why did you get engaged to him / have a baby with him?
He’s got obligations to his existing child

Original poster
Bex2311 · 29/05/2018 20:58

When we got engaged he was working and when I fell pregnant he was.
However he's now out of work. He is however starting a new job in two months.
And I have lost my discounts since he moved in yes.

OP posts:
Popchyk · 29/05/2018 20:59

Why do you feel awful? He's the one who should feel awful.

What is he doing about finding work? That needs to be a complete priority since he is soon to have two children plus himself to support.

£30 - £40 per week is very little to raise a child on when you consider food, clothes, roof over head, school uniform, everything else. So your partner's contribution to his child's upbringing is not the problem here.

He is the problem.

Butterflykissess · 29/05/2018 21:01

Why are you mentioning what he pays to his ex? Why is it relevant. Yes he should be contributing but the maintenance to his ex is not relevant to your situation.

CantankerousCamel · 29/05/2018 21:01

He only needs to give her £5 a week while he is out of work.

bonnyshide · 29/05/2018 21:01

Cocklodger.

Original poster
Bex2311 · 29/05/2018 21:02

So I shouldn't do anything ?as like I say He is due to start a new job soon? And obviously I know his ex needs money for his other child

OP posts:
Butterflykissess · 29/05/2018 21:03

30-40 isn't much no but my ex pays less than £7 a week for 4 children so although it's not much it's actually a lot considering he isn't working.

SingleDingle · 29/05/2018 21:03

Is he claiming benefits just now? How much is that?

Aw12345 · 29/05/2018 21:03

Starting a job in TWO MONTHS?! He needs to do some forn of temp work until that new job starts. Bum around! He better at least be doing 100% of the household chores!!

Popchyk · 29/05/2018 21:05

He starts a new job in two months?

Then he can get a zero hours contract to fill those two months. He could get seasonal work for those two months. Mowing lawns or whatever. And work his bloody arse off.

Aren't you worried that he clearly thinks you should be completely supporting him financially? Without even discussing it with you?

LemonSqueezy0 · 29/05/2018 21:06

It's good that he's still paying his ex but to be honest you've got to wonder why he's keen to meet that obligation but not any towards you.

Its (a bit) different while he's not working. But its not about him covering the difference in your council tax BTW it's about him contributing to the household equally. You should be a partnership..

Can he not pick up a temp role for 2 months?

SingleDingle · 29/05/2018 21:07

Does he have his dc stay over at yours? Are you paying to feed her and care for her too, or is her mother doing 24/7 child raising??

Popchyk · 29/05/2018 21:08

Ha.

Cross-posted with Aw with the TWO MONTHS stuff.

Gemini69 · 29/05/2018 21:10

this is unbalanced OP Flowers

Lovemusic33 · 29/05/2018 21:13

Great that he’s paying something towards his kids even though he’s not working (a lot of men don’t) but not so great that he’s paying nothing towards bills etc.. I’m guessing you are receiving benefits though? Housing benefit and tax credits?

I agree that he should look for temp work but it’s probably not that easy to find unless he has a trade where there work available.

If he has a job lined up and you can cope with just your wage then I would be tempted to just go with it, if he stops paying maintenance to the ex it could make things tricky between them?

Original poster
Bex2311 · 29/05/2018 21:18

No benefits.
He has worked a few shifts doing gardening jobs but I haven't had any money as he is trying to catch up on debt payments...(wow I can see for my self how bad this is now it's in black and white)
So basically ... I should be hounding him to pick up more shifts and give me some bloody money.?
Actually starting to annoy my self when I think of the piss he is taking out of me...

OP posts:
Original poster
Bex2311 · 29/05/2018 21:21

Gemini69 unbalanced sorry I come across that way to you. When I asked for opinions I didn't mean that kind...

OP posts:
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