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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why is my boyfriends friend lying?

84 replies

Liley123 · 25/05/2018 21:28

Two weeks ago me and my boyfriend were drinking with his work friends (he started his new job two months ago) and his friend kept asking me what I do for my job, what sort of music I like and what I do in my spare time. My boyfriend was talking about what me and him do together and his friend, let’s call him bee, started to say “if I was your boyfriend” but got cut off by my boyfriend before he could finish his sentence. All night he was making me laugh and when I left I said by to everyone and when I was half way out the door he said “bye then liley” to which I replied “I said bye to everyone” he said “only to your boyfriend” so I said “bye bee” and he said “thank you, that’s better”. The next day I caught him staring at me through a fence then added him on Facebook the next day which he still hasn’t accepted.

A few days after I told my boyfriend that I caught him looking and he said I was probably other thinking and that he might have just been looking to see who was there. He said bee mentioned that I’d added him and asked him why I had.

I’ve just spoke to bee and he said “sorry I’m not being ignorant, I’ve just seen your friend request” which is obviously a lie. Why would he lie?

OP posts:
overnightangel · 25/05/2018 22:13

Bizarre

MarklahMarklah · 25/05/2018 22:20

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category12 · 25/05/2018 22:27

Depends what sort of fence it was, really.

Why is my boyfriends friend lying?
Why is my boyfriends friend lying?
viques · 25/05/2018 22:33

Do you always add people on Facebook when they look at you through fences?

You know where you say your boyfriend thinks you were other thinking?

I think you are other thinking too.

SingleDingle · 25/05/2018 22:34

No idea, but I know that you were on here yesterday posting two separate threads asking how your boyfriend feels about you, and whether he was planning to propose. Now you clearly think the mate fancies you. Maybe he does. So what?

I agree with your boyfriend. You do seem to overthink. Chill out. You don’t need to second guess everything.

FizzyGreenWater · 25/05/2018 23:24

'let's call him bee'

I can't get past this bit either! Why would you call him bee? It's not a name! You didn't even put a capital letter!

Did you mean Ant (or even 'ant') - at least that's a name.

FizzyGreenWater · 25/05/2018 23:25

And yes you are racking up his feelibfs on the back burning fence for sure

viques · 25/05/2018 23:32

singledingle'the boyfriend thinks OP is"other "thinking not "over" thinking.

Grin
LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 25/05/2018 23:33

I prefer people when they look through fences. Actually I don't. .

Seriously though OP, it's clear you like fence-peepers attention, so maybe address that.

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 25/05/2018 23:36

Were you dancing naked in a place in France Op?

Bouledeneige · 25/05/2018 23:37

Why would you add someone as a friend on FB if he was spying on you through a fence? Its all a bit odd.

user1484167681 · 25/05/2018 23:39

I have nothing constructive to add, but the comments on “bee” and “other thinking” made me laugh so hard I woke the baby sleeping on me 😂 Good luck OP, hope you figure it out!

Dadaist · 25/05/2018 23:44

To be honest it all seems pretty transparent OP - you found him attractive and engaging and amusing and you rather like the idea that he may be attracted to you. You were hoping he’d immediately accept your friend request on FB - and he didn’t - and it bothered you. He lied because that’s what people do if they feel uncomfortable about giving a more honest reason (like eg saying you didn’t reply to a text because you were busy when the truth is you wanted to think carefully before you replied). Perhaps he was happy to get your attention and felt no need to pursue anything further. Perhaps he didn’t want to seem to keen. Perhaps he’s not as interested in you as you’d like him to be.
And in all this OP the real question is why, when you’re in a relationship, do you feel the need for his attention or interest- so much so that it’s played in your mind and you’re asking advice here?

RebelRogue · 25/05/2018 23:46

Who has time for this shit?

FizzyGreenWater · 26/05/2018 00:31

the man they've call bee, that's who.

FizzyGreenWater · 26/05/2018 00:32

THEY call bee, even.

Although my last post looks more like what op would actually write.

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 26/05/2018 00:33

The man dem Bee 🐝 need to go to bed.

Redglitter · 26/05/2018 00:38

Out of that whole weird post the thing you're focusing on is why he said he'd just seen your friend request Confused

FizzyGreenWater · 26/05/2018 00:40

Aha the friend request, there will 🐝 a reason why he ignored it but who can fathom the hive mind

AmazingPostVoices · 26/05/2018 00:42

He was flirting in the bar because he could. You’re his workmates girlfriend so you are “safe”.

He lied about the Facebook thing because his flirting wasn’t serious and he thinks you crossed a line sending it.

Why you would friend request someone who stared at you through a fence in a creepy way is beyond me though.

dirtybadger · 26/05/2018 00:46

Why are you adding someone on Fb from your boyfriends work...who you dont know. So weird. What?

confusedorrepressed · 26/05/2018 00:53

He looked at you through a fence??Confused
That doesn't mean anything, I often stare at people through a fence, it's one of my favourite pastimes.

Emmageddon · 26/05/2018 00:58

Aw. Bee obvs fancied the knickers off you while you were safely coupled up with the boyf. That friend request scared him though. Chill hun.

BlancheM · 26/05/2018 00:58

Because he doesn't want to accept your request, obviously :/

sidesplittinglol · 26/05/2018 01:11

Through what fence? Are you neighbours? Did he react when you caught him? You obviously fancy him