Feel a bit hopeless after reading this - re. dating in your 40s and 50s

[bakerstreet101]

If this is true of online dating why wouldn’t it also be true of real life.

At 49 I feel like I have no chance of meeting someone .

medium.com/@moegreen2015/observations-of-40-50-year-old-women-on-bumble-8af332da9df2

What a pile of shite.

I hope it is a pile of shite but I guess at its most basic, it is probably true that men my age will be looking for younger women.

It's a nasty sneery article saying how dare we divorce a man and then expect to meet another one when our currency (which is purely youth & looks, nothing to do with personality of course ) is spent.

Plenty of 40-50 year olds pair off again - I'm long term single but I'm the exception rather than the rule. I'm not saying it's easy as we get older - but that article is misogynistic and deserves no oxygen at all.

Yes, but would you want a man who believes his pot belly and receding hairline makes him attractive to a 30 year old?

what category12 said

The author of that comes across quite misogynistic in his glee that uppity women are getting their come-uppance for daring to leave their husbands ( it looks like just abuse is sufficient reason to leave, not, for example an affair etc).
However, i do think that after the menopause (for evolutionary reasons), it is hard for a woman to attract a mate. I’m approaching middle age now and I’m aware that if I were to become a divorcee or widow my best bet would be to learn how to have a v happy life without a partner as I would be unlikely to attract one of sufficient calibre ( particularly with two young children to protect).

I'm 48 and had no problem meeting someone. I also had a few dalliances with younger men before I met this one (who's 10 years younger!) It's bollocks.

I think it’s really hard to date when your older if you have kids, are divorced etc. That’s a lot of baggage to take on, a lot of women on here wouldn’t date a man with kids for example so it works both ways. Women are most likely to be resident parent as well. Obviously you can find someone to date but they will probably have baggage too, it’s unlikely a 40-50 year old woman with kids at home would marry a man without kids who’d never been married, although it does happen. It seems that many people split from their partners thinking the grass is greener, but dating in your 40’s and 50’s is very different to 20’s and 30’s.

Rubbish. I’m divorced. Did the online dating and met some lovely men my age ( early 50s). I’m now dating a man my age. It is true that men do think they can attract younger but to be honest why would anyone younger want to date a 50+ plus man unless they had looked after themselves. Most single 50+ men look a mess.

Further to it's a pile of shite :) - I'm divorced, mid-40s. Dating a mid-40s man.

I'm 54, divorced, dating a 54 year old man. It's not impossible.

Total rubbish. I know loads of divorced and widowed people in their 40s upwards, who have all found new partners of a similar age.
I also know a number of people in their 30s who have never had a relationship.
It's not an age thing - it's about other factors such as meeting enough people to find someone you actually want a relationship with.

Clearly written by a bitter misogynist. I would not pay any attention

What utter bollocks. I started dating again in my early 40’s and I’ve had the time of my life - and believe me I’m no oil painting, never have been! Met some gorgeous men of all ages, and now settled down with my lovely man who has happily taken on me and all my baggage

His wife left him didn’t she? I can see why.

Mum met her boyfriend online at 55 and he now lives with her, she also had a few long term relationships from OLD too ...

Why is it mysogynystic though? He does sound a bit bitter but men do tend to generally go for younger women, that’s nothing new.

what a load of tosh from him, i kicked my ex out the third time i found him chatting up and meeting women from ironically match.com ,at age 56 did OLD yes i met some guys who were weird or not working due to ill health but then met my current partner, hes 1 year older than me, has a good job, good health and wev'e been together 4 years now, so there are decent men who want a partner their own age, you just have to search through the chaff to get to the wheat ,

He’s not just stating ‘men go for younger women’ though, he’s being a spiteful twisted person.
Toxic!

Why is it mysogynystic though? It's quite nasty in tone - patronising and trivialising reasons that women (who aren't abused) divorce "issues only you sensed" etc.

You certainly don't get the impression he likes women, anyway.

What a pile of shite. He's probably one of those fat, balding men whose wife has just got rid of him, he's trying it on desperately with younger women on the internet, probably using a picture of himself from the last millennium. I've never had any problems attracting both younger and older men. I met my partner online, he's 5 years younger than my *ahem 51 years! Youngest guy I went out with was 15 years younger .... and he did all the pursuing

I couldn't read that, what a load of bollocks

Jesus what a bitter twisted bellend!! Load of absolute shite. Dating in early 40s has been great. It's true that practicalities of dating as a single parent is tricky but what the article is talking about.. Absolute crap.

issues only you sensed"
I think what he’s saying here is that DH’s dont pick up on why their OH’s are unhappy as it’s not always obvious (to men at least!) or maybe talked about. Read the numerous threads from people who say my OH has just left after x years and I had no idea they were so unhappy.

Cutting through the bitterness I think the point is that the grass isn’t necessarily greener elsewhere, at least in the long term so think carefully before making a big decision.