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Relationships

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Feel a bit hopeless after reading this - re. dating in your 40s and 50s

64 replies

bakerstreet101 · 18/05/2018 18:33

Sad

If this is true of online dating why wouldn’t it also be true of real life.

At 49 I feel like I have no chance of meeting someone Sad.

medium.com/@moegreen2015/observations-of-40-50-year-old-women-on-bumble-8af332da9df2

OP posts:
surferjet · 19/05/2018 08:29

Hold the front page!

Given the choice, 50 year old man would rather have a 35 year old woman.

That’s been the case since time begun!

Namechangedname · 19/05/2018 08:38

He sounds bitter.

Fairylea · 19/05/2018 08:41

I think part of the problem is (and this is true of both sexes) people do put up misleading selfies on the dating sites. Then when you meet someone they look nothing like their original photos. When you’re 20s you can’t really take a bad photo- when you’re 40s onwards it’s easy to pick out the photos where you look least tired / wrinkly etc etc and use those and then people are a bit Shock when they meet you.

Sommelierrrr · 19/05/2018 08:44

40s woman here. No trouble attracting partners. Give yourself a bit of time and self care and dont give any attention to that shite x

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 19/05/2018 08:51

That actually made me laugh. And men, like the ‘writer’ of that, really love women laughing at them. I think what he means is, middle aged women won’t have a chance of getting him. Which is reassuring for any women currently OLD I’d imagine.

AnnUnderTheFryingPan · 19/05/2018 08:55

Yup. Some 50 yo men will be looking in the ‘20-30’ age bracket. These men think they are better than they are.

Others are realists and looking for a relationship which is not superficial and have a realistic age range.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 19/05/2018 09:04

I think women are generally more attractive from mid forties onwards.
More confident and self aware.
I do wonder whether men like this writer can't see that or whether they see it and actively avoid women coming into a different kind of power that doesn't rely as much on male validation.

nicelyneurotic · 19/05/2018 12:46

Wow, disgusting article. The author is horribly bitter about women.

Ignore. Happy dating everyone!

mummyretired · 19/05/2018 13:01

Had no trouble attracting men in my forties, remarried at pushing 50 and now single again and getting my fair share of attention 10 years later.

I think most men set their online search parameters the same way women do, "would like to meet someone my age but could stretch to x years older or y years older". I'm not expecting to meet someone x years younger than me but I'm not going to actively stop them messaging me.

mummyretired · 19/05/2018 13:23

*..younger or y years older

ChiaraRimini · 19/05/2018 14:57

There are lots of entitled single middle aged men on OLD looking to meet a younger woman. Maybe they are single for a reason!
I've found OLD to be a total waste of time but I think that's because it is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

snowagain · 20/05/2018 21:32

Urgh what a horrible man he sounds.

And LOL at the comments about no woman in their 20's wants to go with a wobbly bodied, balding, saggy tummied 50 year old man who needs Viagra!

It's so true though. I know quite a few women aged 20 to 33-ish, and not a single one would want a man past the age of 40. Some men though (like the writer of this laughable article,) think they are Brad fucking Pitt or Johnny Depp - 50-ish and hot and gorgeous.

The vast majority of men over 45 are not, and are deluded. I have seen many a middle aged man chatting away to young women who I know (aged 18 to 30-ish,) and the men think they're funny and whimsical and witty, making cheeky, 'sassy' remarks, and they think that the younger women will think them funny and wise and sexy. But the fact is that most of the young women are actually cringing at this man thinking they will fancy him.

I have heard so many tales over the years of how men age better than women, but I disagree. I have seen more women over 45 who look good, than men over 45 who do. Men tend to go to pot more than women do, as women seem to look after themselves better these days.

As someone said further back, most men over 45 are not going to be able to snare a young woman (under 30,) unless they are very good looking/fit/sexy (think David Beckham!) or rich or famous (preferably all of the above......) Quite honestly, unless it's someone famous, the only time I see an older man 45-50 ish with a woman young enough to be his daughter, is on Jeremy Kyle.

Also, I remember reading a post on a thread about a year ago (on another forum,) and she said she and her husband has been together 25 years, and married for 20. He was bored with their marriage and their sex life, and wanted to try 'swinging.' She (understandably) didn't want to try it. She was weak and vulnerable and (reluctantly) went along with it.

He was expecting to be shagging a gorgeous, pert, busty, fit young 25 year old woman with nice firm young ladybits. What he didn't realise was that he would be switching a 5 ft 2 inch, 49 year old, 14 stone plain woman, for another 5 ft 2 inch, 49 year old, 14 stone plain woman. There were no women under 40 there OR under a size 16.

No woman wanted him either. But a couple of men wanted HER.

She said he thought all the men would rather opt out than shag her, and he would be shagging a young fit bird within half an hour of getting there. Didn't happen. He sat there alone, while she went off into a room with another man.

What he wasn't prepared for was his jealousy. They were married 20 years, they never made it to 21.

Sorry to ramble on, but that story stuck with me. Be careful what you wish for, men!

goldiehawn1 · 20/05/2018 22:54

That article is a complete load of rubbish.

I am 48 and have met loads of lovely single men, and in real life, just by getting out and about, all keen to date women my age.

I just think it is the way you hold yourself. If you are fun and young at heart, this will shine through.

Age really is just a number.

Chocmallows · 20/05/2018 23:07

I'm another divorced woman in my 40s with 2DCs happily dating... a younger man. He's kind, considerate and much better stamina then my exH. My exH was controlling, abusive, left me for OW... now seems permanently fed up.

The author clearly isn't getting any and it's not surprising with his bitter attitude. OP watch Amy Young and Matthew Hussey on YouTube, live your life and don't worry about ridiculous articles.

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