New boyfriend turned up an hour late to meet my parents!

[Sounsure777]

What would you do if your boyfriend of 4 months turned up an hour late to your parents for dinner without even phoning to say he was running late?!

My dad said 15 mins before he was due to arrive to call bf to say park on drive as dad moved car. I called him assuming he was not far and he casually said "oh ok thanks, il running late, just leaving"!.. he lives an hour away!! He had no good reason! He casually said sorry im late but wqsnt flustered or bothered.

He has a habit of being late.. has been 20 mins/ 30 mins late to me before.. with no call or txt..just swans up late.

Hes said before that if hes got stuff to finish off at home (we are not talking anything urgent..washing up or wiping down the.shower!!) whats a but of lateness if it means jobs at home get done... i find it really rude!! Hes great in other ways but I find this very arrogant/frustrating!..

Maybe you aren’t a good match?

It is a red flag, imho. It shows a level of contempt for your time and thus you. It is disrespectful, in an intentional kind of way-not, for example, just hitting every single red light along the way (if applicable).

His priority over a date is wiping down the shower.

He sounds wild!

He’s rude. Plain and simple. I wouldn’t waste any more time on someone like that.

He sounds like an arrogant little prick.

Ha ha stiffstink exactly that! Lol.

If he was just bad at time mamagement and called in a fluster saying im so sorry etc it wouldnt be so bad but he doesnt evem bother to call (despite having hands free blue tooth).. its just so rude!

Ok one other q! Sorry! When he met my parents..as he left he jokingly said to my dad but in a cringey arrogant way.. "so you know I like to say that i'm not always right.. .. just.. most of the time!".. was a joke but i found it so cringey.. am i being silly? It was just a joke!

I'd bin can't abide lateness but realise I'm fussier than most BUT even so, more than 15/20 mins late is bloody rude not only to you but to your parents too.

Was this his first time meeting them?

Ugh that 'joke' DEFINITELY bin sounds a right twonk!

Yep!! First time! My jaw dropped when i called him re parking.. assuming he was 5 / 10 mins away and he casually mentioned he'd just left 5 mins ago! When was he going to call to say he was late?!

This won’t change unless he gets the message of zero tolerance from you. His behaviour is incredibly rude and disrespectful of your time. TBH, no successful person I have ever known is a time waster to people they value in their lives.

Why didn't you arrange to meet earlier and arrive at your parents together?

OMG I'm a nightmare for time but I'd be a wreck trying to get organised to go to dinner at somebody I'd never met's house.

Red flagged unadulterated arrogance.
Be wary. 4 months? He hasn't even passed his probationary period. No call even speaks volumes. No consideration and no manners.
Bugger that. Notwithstanding your embarrassment OP. You must have been mortified.

It is the lack of embarrassment that is off putting. Anyone can end up running late, confusion over times, lost keys, car problems, late bus, paralysing nerves in the face of first parental meeting...
However, most of us would be abjectly apologetic, explain ourselves (somehow) and try to make amends.
He, however, has form for not giving a shit about being on time and doesn't care about the people waiting for him. Not attractive qualities in a partner.

Succinctly put. That's what I mean too pers
How did your parents take it OP?

Presumably he realised he was expected at a very specific time?

Assuming he did, imagine how infuriated you'll feel when this is happening for the 1000th time that you try to leave the house together - you're embarrassed to be late, he's just tidying the garage quickly and doesn't care that you're about to explode with frustration

This should be the honeymoon period. If you can't even be loved up and trying to be the best versions of yourselves now then it's not going to be a happy ending.

It is a passive aggressive control issue.
Deal breaker in my opinion.

Wow!
I used to be a late arse, but some things you just are not late for. Work, meeting poss future Pil, funerals etc
Seems odd. Is he a bit of a stoner?

Yeah, this ones not a keeper. Cringing now bodes badly for your future.

Even worse! That's like he's TRYING to make a bad impression the FIRST time meeting the parents.

Sorry but if he gave the tiniest shit he'd have been early, smartly dressed, not made crass arrogant jokes. Definitely bin!

To be perfectly honest if I were in your position as soon as I realised he hadn't even left home and was clearly not caring I'd have told him not to bother. That day or any other! WAY too early in the relationship for even minor rudeness!

Only 10 minutes late to visit my parents and Dad would have insisted on starting without him. My Dad was punctual, his stomach was punctual and he loved his food.

Four months? Personally I wouldn’t let him make it to five...

Wow if he’s like this after 4 months it does not bode well. He sounds weird and arrogant. Are you really sure you want to be bothered with this!

This is best behaviour time. If this is him at his best then you either accept him as this or dump him.
You can't allow shoddy behaviour to be accepted then complain later about it.
The classic response on here is, he's showing you who he is so listen.

I love that pods
'hes showing you who he is so listen'
How rude and arrogant can one be?
Listen, get rid. Like I said he hasn't even passed probationary period.
And you should have told him not to come as he was keeping people waiting, far too long and not a care in the world.