New boyfriend turned up an hour late to meet my parents!

[Sounsure777]

What would you do if your boyfriend of 4 months turned up an hour late to your parents for dinner without even phoning to say he was running late?!

My dad said 15 mins before he was due to arrive to call bf to say park on drive as dad moved car. I called him assuming he was not far and he casually said "oh ok thanks, il running late, just leaving"!.. he lives an hour away!! He had no good reason! He casually said sorry im late but wqsnt flustered or bothered.

He has a habit of being late.. has been 20 mins/ 30 mins late to me before.. with no call or txt..just swans up late.

Hes said before that if hes got stuff to finish off at home (we are not talking anything urgent..washing up or wiping down the.shower!!) whats a but of lateness if it means jobs at home get done... i find it really rude!! Hes great in other ways but I find this very arrogant/frustrating!..

So he places more value on his time than he does yours and that of your family, who he had never met before and should have been making a good first impression.
He's rude and inconsiderate.
He's trying to be funny and failing.
What are his good points?
4 months in and this will never improve.

My sister (RIP) had a partner who was always late.
ALWAYS.
We just used to tell him to be somewhere an hour earlier than we were all getting there.
He'd still be late.
He was a rude, arrogant, asshole.
It was a control thing with him.
An issue with people 'telling him what to do'!
Why she put up with him for so long is beyond me.

At 4 months into a relationship, if this many things bothered me this much, I wouldn't continue the relationship. Life is too short.

He sounds charming.

If it had been me meeting your new boyfriend I would tell you I was not impressed by him at all. I have a "death stare" and am not afraid to use it!

It's called respect, which you bf is seriously lacking.

Oh bloody hell BIN HIM.

The lateness

The rudeness

The awful attempt at humour

ARGH

Do you really want to be the one at family gatherings with the slightly embarrassing boor of a H that everyone kind of avoids???

Dump NOW.

Have you talked to him about it, told him how upset he made you? I'd want a proper apology but given what you've said about his attitude I doubt he'll change.

God - my DP is like that and it drives me mad.

He's always 'I'll just do this, it'll only take a minute!' and I'd explode. He'd be due to go to his parents and leave round-about when he was due there... I'd tell him when to leave so we could catch a bus/train/plane and he'd be late and I'd be rushing and then we'd have an argument and he would just never see the connection between me stressing and his lateness....

He just never rushes anywhere. He's 6'4" and I'm a foot shorter but I still walk quicker than him! He blames my 'military background' (Father in army) for my timekeeping. He's also been in the Army!

I should have got rid within the first 6 months. He'll send you round the bend, OP.

Maya Angelou had this saying "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time"

As other posters said he clearly doesn't value your parents and your time for some reason and it would be worse if you ended up long term with him, so dump him.

Save yourself a lot of aggro and dump him now.

I'd dump him . To not telephone or text re late arrival in this day and age unacceptable .

Bin him. Can't abide lateness. If someone didn't arrive within 10 minutes of agreed time I would have left.

By being late he is being disrespectful; he is showing you that his time is more important than yours. And being late to meet your parents ? Just shows you how important your feelings are when weighed against his own. Personally, I'd cut my losses and move on, It wont get any better

STBXH's lateness was one of his most annoying qualities - he'd never miss a train or plane, so clearly he could get himself organised if he felt he had to, it was always for social stuff - so rude & embarrassing.

Drove me absolutely nuts.

Shows a total lack of respect.

My ExBIL did this. The first time me and ExH were due to meet him ( having travelled from the other end of the country), he turned up an hour late because he had gone out to buy Christmas decorations. It was October.

Totally marked his card as far as I was concerned. It showed him the entitled, disrespectful, selfish dickhead that DSis eventually realised him to be.

Isn’t he supposed to be trying to impress your parents on first meeting? Sounds like he was trying to pee them off off instead. My dad wouldn’t let him in the house turning up late! I couldn’t handle constant lateness and for me it would be relationship over.?

He really said that to your dad? Told someone a generation older and more experienced in life that he, dopey BF, believes himself to be 'more right' than him - and than you?

'Hello dopey BF, we think you're an immature tosspot'. DBF 'Snort, I'm sooo much cleverer and righter then you, obvs'. Us/you 'ok, bye then, hope your belief in your rightness makes you happy.'

Huge Red Flags.