Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Did your partner give you a present when you gave birth?

106 replies

MotherofOne · 16/07/2002 11:22

I spoke to a friend of mine yesterday who is expecting their first child imminently, and in the conversation she mentioned that her dh had taken her to chose an eternity ring as a gift for her when she gives birth - "as a thank you for bearing our child".
It struck me as rather romantic really - when our ds was born 2.5 years ago this wasn't something we even considered. However when I casually mentioned it to dh I think he thought he was being nagged! (and he's being terribly supportive in all sorts of other ways, so I shouldn't complain...!)
Did anyone else out there get (give?) a 'birth gift' from / to their dp/dh??

OP posts:
PamT · 16/07/2002 11:35

I really wanted an eternity ring when I had DD. We were just about to have our 10th wedding anniversary, had come into some money and she was to be my last child (assuming we never have any accidents). I thought that under the circumstances a ring would have been appropriate. I hinted, begged and pleaded but got nothing. Friends did continue to hint and I eventually got one about 18 months later. I would just say that you should be cautious if buying a ring when pregnant because your fingers may be a little fatter then.

genia · 16/07/2002 11:37

You must be joking! I too had heard of the custom - one of my friends who is German got a ring when she gave birth to her daughter but no such luck here!! I wish!!! My partner doesn't even agree with birthday presents and had I mentioned anything about a "giving birth" present, he too would have thought he was being nagged! Oh well, in my next life a man might give me some such gift... And no, I didn't get him anything either when our son was born almost 8 months ago now!
Eugeniaxx

angharad · 16/07/2002 11:43

The only time DH buys me flowers is when I've given birth, quite funny really as this is also the only time anyone else does...I'm not much into jewellery but it took me dragging DH to the shops to get an engagement ring, that said he once got me a special import copy of a particular 12" I wanted and that made me cry!

Does anyone else not acknowledge mother's day/father's day? I'm fine about ignoring Valentine's as I find it a bit grim but still fnd it hard that DH won't acknowledge mother's day. luckily DD and DS1 understand and I get great homemade cards from them.

Original poster
MotherofOne · 16/07/2002 11:49

Hmmm - maybe it IS more of a European thing - the friend I spoke to lives in Holland.
To be honest, my feeling with all these sorts of things is that the romantic part would be the spontaneity or surprise of dh suggesting/doing it. If I have to hint, or personally drag him to the jewellers then it would begin to defeat the point.

OP posts:
bundle · 16/07/2002 11:49

my SIL got a pair of diamond earrings when she had their first ds this year! I rather pointedly praised this gesture to my rather uninterested dh!

Harrysmum · 16/07/2002 12:05

I had heard rumour of the "custom" of an eternity ring when the first son is born and held out much hope (esp as we knew from 20wks that ds was a boy) but to no avail. Much muttering along the lines of you have a baby, how can you want something else, isn't there enough expense involved already etc... Oh well. I just liked the idea of a shiny new sparkly thing! One mum in my ante-natal class did get one and it came as a complete surprise to her - we were all madly jealous! His mum had to wait until their 25 wedding anniversary so maybe it'll be a while yet!

Snugs · 16/07/2002 12:06

Dh bought me eternity rings for both ds1 and ds2 (ds2 ring relegated to right hand). After birth of ds1 I bought dh his prize possession - an E-type Jag

Marina · 16/07/2002 12:06

I got a very pretty ring from dh when ds was born and we made a point of going back to the rather nice shop where my engagement ring was bought. Terrified partners eavesdropping on this might like to know that this kind of thing can be done modestly if you go to a small independent jewellers and choose semi-precious stones. (We are not talking diamond half-hoops alas...)
I bought dh a coffee table book on the Beatles that he had been dropping hints about for ages, so everyone was happy.

JanZ · 16/07/2002 12:19

Dh got me some genealogy software when ds was born. He knew I'd been doing a few searches before ds was born (my distinctive surname means it's easy - anyone with my name HAS to be related - it's just a case of working out how far back!).

Having said that, I've not done a thing since ds was born - more important things to do, like marvel at ds's development!

I should look it out and start it up again - although I'm now more interested in finding out more about dh's background - and trying to prove the existence of the shipwrecked Spaniard that gives my supposedly 100% Scottish husband his exotic colouring (which he has passed on to ds).

GillW · 16/07/2002 12:54

No, nothing - and DS was born on my birthday too. Still, every cloud has a silver lining - so if I'm never going to have another birthday again (it'll always be DS's birthday from now on, not mine) I'll have to stick at 30-something for ever!

dejags · 16/07/2002 13:08

I must have been particularly spoiled. After DS was born I was treated to a beautiful diamond solitaire ring - not an eternity ring. DH says that it is his way of telling me how much he appreciates his "greatest gift i.e. DS" and how much he loves me.... corny but very sweet.

Copper · 16/07/2002 13:39

I always felt it was a bit patronizing - the baby was our baby, not his baby that I'd borne for him. Am I being over sensitive?

Paula1 · 16/07/2002 13:53

I got a lovely watch and some flowers, very much appreciated, however, he also bought himself the matching watch!!

Enid · 16/07/2002 14:10

Copper, I slightly agree with you I must say. I never expected anything when dd was born and wont in October when no 2 arrives. dp's greatest gift to me was my beautiful daughter (sorry, puke).

Mind you, he bought me a very nice pair of diamond earrings for Valentines day this year

FrancesJ · 16/07/2002 14:10

I didn't get a pressie, but, to be fair, we were very short of money at the time (plus he's a teacher, and was being Ofstedded 2 days after birth). So it was more of an agreement thing that we wouldn't. He did get me a book to read in hospital, and rushed to and from tesco buying totally inappropriate babygro sizes, which under the circumstances was as much as I expected. Had to bring all his school work into the ward, bless.

SoupDragon · 16/07/2002 14:20

I convinced my DH it was traditional to buy a Maternity Ring

I'm sure he knew it was 'eternity' all along really but it made us giggle. He'd certainly caught on by the time DS2 arrived as he insists the ring I got for DS1 was an evernity ring. I'm still trying to persuade him I need another though.

robbie · 16/07/2002 14:44

I just sent a link to this thread to my husband - I'm pregnant - in the hope it might inspire him...
His emailed reply:
"You can have what you like as long as you pay for it."
Once a romantic, always a romantic!

Rhubarb · 16/07/2002 14:44

I got 4 cans of Guinness to drink whilst holed up in hospital - ahh, he knows me well!

ionesmum · 16/07/2002 14:49

Dh was too busy driving the 15 miles to the hospital and back to buy anything, although he was pretty good at buying baguettes to supplement the stinky hospital food. However, he did buy me a lovely ring for our anniversary when I was pregnant with dd, and a Victorian locket for my birthday, which wasn't long after dd was born.

oxocube · 16/07/2002 14:54

My first was born at jome, and after the midwives had left, about 1 1/2 hours after the birth, my d.h. went out for an Indian Takeaway! Unfortunately, his mum and sister arrived and devoured my share!! Mind you, this is the man who kept disappearing into the sitting room whilst I was in strong labour. I thought he was going to get towels (?) or something or at least make a cup of tea, but it turned out his team was playing footie on the telly and he kept nipping in to check the score They won

oxocube · 16/07/2002 14:56

My first was born at home, and after the midwives had left, about 1 1/2 hours after the birth, my d.h. went out for an Indian Takeaway! Unfortunately, his mum and sister arrived and devoured my share!! Mind you, this is the man who kept disappearing into the sitting room whilst I was in strong labour. I thought he was going to get towels (?) or something or at least make a cup of tea, but it turned out his team was playing footie on the telly and he kept nipping in to check the score They won

oxocube · 16/07/2002 14:56

How did that happen? Strange

Lucy123 · 16/07/2002 15:21

I somehow missed out on the "nesting" phase, but dp scrubbed the house from top to bottom the day we got back from hospital. Better than a ring any day!

Philippat · 16/07/2002 15:32

I think I got a cream cake from the bakery in case the hospital food was bad!

No jewellery yet, although I do keep mentioning tiffany's...

DH took off 4 months leave so I guess I got my fair share...

Lindy · 16/07/2002 17:28

I got a very nice flower arrangement, a smoked salmon sandwich & the news that he had invited his boss & wife to lunch the day after we got home to 'show off the baby' !

Swipe left for the next trending thread