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Original poster

Did your partner give you a present when you gave birth?

106 replies

MotherofOne · 16/07/2002 11:22

I spoke to a friend of mine yesterday who is expecting their first child imminently, and in the conversation she mentioned that her dh had taken her to chose an eternity ring as a gift for her when she gives birth - "as a thank you for bearing our child".
It struck me as rather romantic really - when our ds was born 2.5 years ago this wasn't something we even considered. However when I casually mentioned it to dh I think he thought he was being nagged! (and he's being terribly supportive in all sorts of other ways, so I shouldn't complain...!)
Did anyone else out there get (give?) a 'birth gift' from / to their dp/dh??

OP posts:
PamT · 24/07/2002 21:04

No we women do not forget. 9 years ago I had DS1 about 5 weeks before mothers day. Imagine my disappointment when I didn't get anything on the day - not even a card. I still haven't forgiven DH for that one because it still hurts. My friend actually gave birth in the early hours of that mother's day and her husband rushed straight out to buy a card. These days I get the obligatory flowers and chocolates.

SimonHoward, I would love to get DPs opinion on this thread, perhaps you could introduce us to her (virtually of course) one day.

MABS · 24/07/2002 21:08

hmm, Mothers Day - still smarting from getting a new battery for my mobile phone this year ....

buttercup · 24/07/2002 21:09

my DP cried like a trooper when my ds was born and ever since then he spends every spare moment he can sharing child care including getting up early every other morning. best present I could have.

Rhubarb · 24/07/2002 22:36

Mine cried when I told him we were having pheasant for tea!!!

bloss · 25/07/2002 00:58

Message withdrawn

Azzie · 25/07/2002 09:16

Good point Buttercup - my dh may not be that hot on the present front (one year he gave me a frying pan for Christmas) but he is hot on the equal parenting front. Maybe what you lose on the swings you gain on the roundabouts, as they say. And although he doesn't really believe in Mother's Day etc he does know better than to let it pass unmarked!

PamT · 25/07/2002 09:27

I think I must have struck unlucky here. Must get him better trained!

oxocube · 25/07/2002 11:03

Rhubarb

SimonHoward · 25/07/2002 15:31

PamT

I have asked both DW and one of my SILs about this and they both said that neither of them expected anything for giving birth and that neither of them had ever considered Eternity rings.

PamT · 25/07/2002 16:05

Strange women!

Original poster
MotherofOne · 25/07/2002 19:26

Pam T - Either that or they have lowered their expectations based on previous experiences...

OP posts:
PamT · 25/07/2002 20:07

LOL Motherofone

CAM · 25/07/2002 21:47

sh think about what you have said, maybe you should be a little worried that your dw has never even considered an eternity ring?

MABS · 25/07/2002 21:59

Well said CAM

SimonHoward · 26/07/2002 08:17

Motherofone

Truer words have never been spoken (probably). They are both on their second marriage/relationship.

CAM

DW thought about getting one with her 1st husband but now dislikes the idea because it brings back old memeories that she'd rather forget.

chiara71 · 26/07/2002 10:24

My sister had got a beautiful pearl necklace (she had an engagement ring onlya year before) and a red rose the day after her dd was born. (contrary to this country, in Italy it is a custom to 'thank' your partner for the birth of your baby with a present)

I started dropping hints the moment I knew I was pregnant as I never got a proper ring (as I received one when we were very young and he could not afford diamonds).

The day after dd was born he arrived at hospital and said he wanted to get me flowers but did not know where to go (doh: a florist maybe?), did I still want them? no it would not have been the same....
Then after 3 months of nagging from my sister and all my friends, he eventually bought me a trilogy ring on the day of our third anniversary (actually he brought me home 2 rings to choose from and I chose the trilogy). So I got the ring, but no romance there....not exactly as I'd expected it, but as he is against expensive jewelry as a matter of principle (but would spend the same amount of money on a expensive meal without thinking about it twice), the gesture was greatly appreciated as it really showed his love for me.

Rhubarb · 26/07/2002 12:10

This is just the same as Mother's Day and Valentine's Day though isn't it? I do feel sorry for men sometimes The first pressie my dh every got me was a potted cabbage - I should have known then what was to come! For my birthday once he got me a calculator, for Christmas a meat cleaver (dangerous!). A few months back he came home from work with a 'present' for me - a miner's lamp he found whilst digging in a quarry!

However he did once get it right - for one of our wedding anniversaries he bought me a lovely celtic locket from Past Times, probably only cost a couple of quid as it's not gold or anything, but I put in it a piece of my wedding dress and a miniture photo of him - it's the best present I've had so far and I wear it whenever I'm out without him - awwww!

To expect presents all the time is a bit much, love and consideration should really be enough. After all, no-one gives them presents when their sperm manages to penetrate our egg do they? We don't say, "Oh well done darling!", they're more likely to get a right ear bashing and then 9 months of moaning and mood swings!

CAM · 26/07/2002 12:12

SH,my dh and myself have both been married before so we are each other's No. 2
I am far more romantic this time around being older and soppier but having said that I don't even know why I joined in this discussion as have to confess that all I got when I gave birth to our dd was the baby!! Actually that's a lie, I also got some extra flab, extra wrinkles from lack of sleep and very sore nipples.

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2002 13:33

Rhubard, lol at the meat cleaver!

chinchilla · 27/07/2002 00:30

My dh always says (in response to my request for an eternity ring) 'what did I get?' (Apart from ds of course!)

He said I could have a ring if he could have a watch, but then that rather takes away any spontaneity doesn't it! I'd rather not have anything than something that I had to ask for.

When I was in hospital, he got me a fab bunch of flowers, and cleaned the house from top to bottom. Her also followed all my orders for buying baby things, and rushed to Tesco etc in between visiting me at every visiting session.

These things mean more than diamonds don't they! Don't they? Well, maybe not, but I am trying to make myself believe it!

pisces1965 · 29/07/2002 15:00

I got a Guccu watch for having Dd - he's an old romantic and always knew I wanted one, so what a time to get one heh?

bettys · 29/07/2002 15:20

Dp gave me a ring when I had ds, which is different in style to an eternity ring, so we call it a baby ring. He actually enjoys buying jewellery for me, and has rather good taste. Ds gives me jewellery too (but with a very different budget!). I've had to ask for wellies as a present for next birthday!

Queenie · 20/08/2002 14:00

When I had dd DH bought me diamond earrings which were a joint birthday/giving birth pressie. DOn't think he'll get me anything this time but I may be pleasantly surprised.

Tillysmummy · 20/08/2002 14:03

Queenie, SNAP !! MotherofOne, they are supposed to by you diamonds for every child ! Get him shopping....

Philippat · 20/08/2002 16:45

You know, this thread did me no end of good! Mentioned it to dh and he took me shopping in Tiffany's in New York...