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Original poster

Esther Rantzen: grandparents's rights

59 replies

aladyofindeterminateage · 07/05/2018 12:56

Esther Rantzen is campaigning for grandparents to have legal rights to access to their grandchildren.
She maintains that there will be no problem with this because the family court will sort out any issues where these exist.
I am conflicted about this because I have read some horror stories on MN.
However I am not a grandparent.
I do feel uneasy though.

OP posts:
annandale · 07/05/2018 12:58

Nobody has rights of access to children in a legal sense surely?

The rights of children to have access to their grandparents - that would be an interesting one and presumably is what she is campaigning for?

AornisHades · 07/05/2018 13:00

I was going to post about this
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-44028473
It talks about divorce and family break down but not about when a parent chooses to keep their own parent away from a child.

PotteringAlong · 07/05/2018 13:02

If parents don’t have rights, just responsibilities, why do grandparents have rights?

Original poster
aladyofindeterminateage · 07/05/2018 13:07

Yes, I think she did correct the interviewer or the point of children's rights. I have just seen the interview on BBC world news. (I am not in the UK). Sorry for my mistake.

OP posts:
Mousefunky · 07/05/2018 14:10

Grandparents shouldn’t have rights. There are all kinds of reasons why people are NC with their parents such as abuse, in those instances they definitely shouldn’t have access to their grandchildren. There will always be a good reason a person would keep their children away from their parents.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 07/05/2018 14:12

Grandparents, like parents, don’t have rights to contact with children. The right to contact belongs to the child. From experience I can tell you that courts do award contact to grandparents in certain circumstances.

MimpiDreams · 07/05/2018 14:16

Maybe the desire to have rights over grandchildren and thus power over the parent is why the relationship broke down in the first place. Why not put the effort into fixing things with your own kids first?

BewareOfDragons · 07/05/2018 14:21

I am completely against this.

In individual cases, courts can be involved and contact ordered where it is in the best interests of a child.

But in most cases? That is entirely a parental decision to make and arrange. We should not be enshrining access to anyone other than parents in law.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 07/05/2018 14:21

mimpi it isn’t always their own adult child that is withholding contact.

MimpiDreams · 07/05/2018 14:25

mimpi it isn’t always their own adult child that is withholding contact.

Then surely it's up to their own adult child to fix.

MayFayner · 07/05/2018 14:29

Do grandparents have any responsibilities to a grandchild- financial/ caregiving etc. No, they don't.

So why in the name of fuck would they deserve rights?

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 07/05/2018 14:30

Then surely it's up to their own adult child to fix.

Sometimes they’re dead.

MimpiDreams · 07/05/2018 14:41

Well then maybe they should have put more effort into building a relationship with the other parent and then they wouldn't be in this situation.

Ultimately nobody cuts someone out of their child's life if they have a decent relationship with them and they're bringing something positive into their lives.

gluteustothemaximus · 07/05/2018 14:41

This is a very big issue for me.

Grandparents shouldn't have any rights, at all.

My parents couldn't give two shits about me, or DH (having told us that) but they still want a relationship with our children.

Sorry, but no. You don't have a bad relationship with the parents, and a wonderful relationship with the GC's.

They act like it's in the child's best interests, but clearly it's in the GP's best interests.

If my children are exposed to toxic behaviour, blood related or not, I'll be making damn sure that the poison source is cut out.

It is MY job as the parent, to protect my children.

Read between the lines in all the stories of estrangement, because the real stories are lying there.

gluteustothemaximus · 07/05/2018 14:42

Ultimately nobody cuts someone out of their child's life if they have a decent relationship with them and they're bringing something positive into their lives.

Abso-fucking-lutely!!!!!!

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 07/05/2018 15:09

Well then maybe they should have put more effort into building a relationship with the other parent and then they wouldn't be in this situation.

You realise that requires both parties to want that?

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 07/05/2018 15:13

Esther rantzens son is a knob and has a fairly dysfunctional relationship with the mother of his children - so I suspect that is what's behind this.

Movablefeast · 07/05/2018 15:13

Esther seems like a dominating, interfering busybody and likely to be a nightmare MIL. It's no surprise to me that she is on the side of grandparents (her generation) at the expense of parents.

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 07/05/2018 15:13

I have worked with him. The words "Bell" and "end" spring to mind.

Wonkydonkey44 · 07/05/2018 15:17

My daughter has never met my husbands mother and if any court told me she had to have contact I’d defy every court in the land .

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/05/2018 15:22

It’s a hideous idea.

When I was a child, my parents put it in their wills that if they died before we were adults they don’t want my mum’s parents having residency of us. They set up proper guardian stuff with family friends.

The idea that parents don’t know who is safe around their children is madness.

kikashi · 07/05/2018 15:23

ER has been banging on about this periodically for years.
About 20 years ago my toxic MIL kept pressuring my child to stay overnight with her etc and we said a categorical no. She was incredibly lucky to have any contact at all ( My DH was living with the FOG still) and MIL was always threatening about her "granny rights" and how Esther was going to get them for her.

Hope she doesn't succeed this time around.

Dobbythesockelf · 07/05/2018 15:26

My dh mother is a nasty woman at times. Currently my dh will take dd to see her for short lengths of time with him always present. She wasn't a good parent so I don't see how she has the right to be a grandparent. The idea that hypothetically she could try and gain access to my child is a horrible thought. My dh has tried for years to maintain a decent relationship with her but it never works. He is low contact for a reason (I refuse to see her), people tend not to cut people out just cause they feel like it in my experience.

HopeClearwater · 07/05/2018 15:29

Esther Rantzen would not know what to do with herself if she didn’t have something to campaign about in public. She should shut up and keep well out of it. It’s none of her business.