Esther Rantzen: grandparents's rights

[aladyofindeterminateage]

Esther Rantzen is campaigning for grandparents to have legal rights to access to their grandchildren.
She maintains that there will be no problem with this because the family court will sort out any issues where these exist.
I am conflicted about this because I have read some horror stories on MN.
However I am not a grandparent.
I do feel uneasy though.

What you are essentially asking for is to take duty away a parents discretion in blocking harmful people from their children’s lives.

Absolutely spot on. The very few 'good' grandparents out there, this law is for them, but it will be the toxic ones who will benefit from it. They do love a bit of control.

Grandparents had their time as parents. Grandchildren are not a do over and are certainly not the property of their relatives, even their parents.

This is very accurate. My parents consistently referred to MY son as 'theirs'. Kept comparing him to my brother. Kept saying I looked like the older sister

It got to the point where they were taking him out without my permission, even tried to take him on holiday! They were furious that I wouldn't let him go. His response was 'what does it matter what we do with him on our watch? He's OUR grandchild'

She would say to my DS, 'I can't wait until you're a teen. I hope you put your mother through hell, like she did with me'.

You think I want these people to have access?

You think, that even though they fucked up my childhood, I should say. here ....have my kids....fuck them up as well?

Just because there is no physical abuse, it becomes very hard to prove. Anything I say, they could refute. As is it, they are already spreading lies about me, how I'm mentally unstable etc

My ex was violent, and financially abusive, emotionally abusive, extremely controlling. When I got away, he still had rights to see DS. Despite his drug taking, despite being an alcoholic. Despite drink driving. Despite his parents being abusive (his father raped both his sisters).

So, when a woman leaves her abusive ex, now not only would she have to deal with HIM having contact, but his parents too.

The world isn't full of poor old grannies, who have mean and nasty daughters deliberately 'punishing' them, just because.

There are damn good reasons for no contact, and they take YEARS to get there.

Esther always stuck me as a narcissistic grandparent anyway. Why else would she be campaigning? There was an article about her being a 'naughty granny' and how it was her right to be that 'naughty granny' and not do what her daughter asked of her. That to me says childish fucking narcissist. Like my own mother.

And then there's the Jimmy Saville thing. Like fuck she didn't know.

I'm really shocked by this! Purely and simply it has to be about the needs and rights of the child - I thought that was now the established legal principle??? Yet there are activists and journalists alike ignoring it completely with their talk of "grandparents rights".

I daresay I'll be flamed for this but it seems to be in the same philosophical category as incels saying they have a "right" to sex. Note, philosophical ie the logic of it.

My wonderful DM (born in the 1930s) volunteered that her relationship with her DGCs was a privilege to be earned. I hadn't actually thought of it like that until she expressed it that way.

Presumably this also means that when a couple split or divorce and the NRP doesn't bother with the child or evades maintenance etc, they can, when their barely known child becomes a parent, swan back in and claim their rights?

Yes, Esther reminds me of my mother a lot. There's solid reasons why I'm NC with her.

Article by her daughter on how Esther grandparents.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2661755/When-granny-belongs-naughty-step-Esther-Rantzens-daughter-besotted-oh-mischievous-grandparents-make-life-hell-mums.html

There’s a massive difference between being the fun granny, and spoiling them, versus an absolute disrespect for your daughter by doing whatever the hell you please.

She sounds like a fucking nightmare.

Oh great lets just give narcopaths the floor as it were, you know because they really don't like being centre of attention in the court room and using the family closed court system as a game to hurt the families that are trying to raise their dc without toxicity.

Ffs

Jesus! She sounds utterly ridiculous! And the undermining of the mothers authority on SAFETY issues is well out of order.

Mind you never could stand Esther always thought she was attention seeking and not genuine even with her 'campaigns' - childline/savile a good example of that.

Not often my mum and I agree on celebs but mum always felt her campaigns and 'worthy' stuff was medal seeking and I agree. It wasn't helping people she wanted to do it was the glory of it. Virtue signalling at its worst.

If they are going to permit unfettered access to the groaning and underfunded court system by extended family, they are going to have to put in a shit load of extra funding for more court time.

Can't see the Treasury swallowing that, when Justice is their go to department for budget scalping.

I would have hated my in-laws to have had rights over my DC. They only ever had contact with them with me or DH present as they were very lacks with safety.

I am to be a first time grandmother soon and I want a loving relationship with my DS, his DP and their DC. I don't believe I should have a right to that though. Should they ever split in the future I would hope that they put their child first and do what's right for them, not for Mr.