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Original poster

I want my DP to propose!!

51 replies

cherryblossom4 · 06/05/2018 20:44

I've been with my OH for a year. We're both 29. He's divorced (she cheated on him). He doesn't seem to carry any issues from this. Although he had thought he had found the right person, he is quite pragmatic just feels like she wasn't the right person.

We have talked absolutely it the future and we definitely both feel we will be together forever and will definitely get married one day. We are planning on starting to try for a baby at the end of this year. I would love so so much to get engaged now. And I do say it to him in a light hearted way sometimes. My sister got engaged to her boyfriend after 7 years so he jokes that we will do the same. I have been clear that I do not want to wait that long and he does laugh like he's just winding me up. As he has only split from him wife about 19 months ago and divorced 13 months, I think he's afraid that it will look bad.

Anyway I don't really know what I'm asking but has anyone got any tips for making it happen quicker?! HA x

OP posts:
MrsDilber · 06/05/2018 20:46

A year is no time op. What's the rush??

Happygummibear · 06/05/2018 20:46

Propose to him ?

greystripedteepee · 06/05/2018 20:47

You could ask him.

SoapOnARoap · 06/05/2018 20:47

Don’t wish your life away waiting for a proposal. You barely know him

PurpleDaisies · 06/05/2018 20:48

Have a proper grown up conversation about it. Make him see it isn’t a joke and you’re serious.

Don’t start trying for a baby until you are married. Ultimately you can’t make someone ready before they are though.

Saz1995 · 06/05/2018 20:48

A year is no time, don’t panic x

ShowOfHands · 06/05/2018 20:49

Ask yourself if it means a great deal to you.

I think practically, it makes sense to be married before you have a child, purely for the legal protection it confers. I would have no qualms about being clear on this. Not hinting and nudging, being upfront.

All that said, we waited 6 years before even discussing marriage so I'm not one to rush in!

Shoxfordian · 06/05/2018 20:49

Don't start trying for a baby until you're married
Have a proper conversation about it.

BumbleNova · 06/05/2018 20:52

Why would you try for a baby without being married? Do you live together? Own a house?

I'm not sure why you can have a conversation about a family and not have an adult conversation about commitment.

BankHolidayYAS · 06/05/2018 20:54

Gonna be straight with you here

He’s divorced. Now trying for a baby when you have both been together no time. You’d think he’d be wiser!

BlueTrousers · 06/05/2018 20:57

You’ve been together a year, he’d been divorced for a month before you met and you want to get engaged and start trying for a baby?! HmmConfused

PatchworkGirl · 06/05/2018 20:59

If you have definite plans to try for a baby and want to be married first then you need to let him know (clearly).

If you want to start planning your wedding now(ish) then why not propose to him?

Or just have a conversation about it. If you end up agreeing to marry then congratulations - you're engaged and no proposal needed. If you can't agree then perhaps you ned to wait a while or find a compromise.

I never understand why people don't just talk about this stuff.

KanielOutis · 06/05/2018 21:07

Does he have to propose to you? Can you not discuss your plans to marry and arrange a wedding? Although a year is no time at all. Marry at haste, repent in leisure.

TheCraicDealer · 06/05/2018 21:09

If you feel that strongly about getting married don't have a baby with this guy until you're engaged and explain that to him. Have the conversation- if you can't do that then you shouldn't be planning a minibreak, never mind a baby. It's not that complicated.

ByeMF · 06/05/2018 21:27

You're 29. Believe me, that's no age. He's already divorced. If you so desperately need to be married, ask him. Talk to him about how you feel. It's really hard having kids, it puts a massive strain on a relationship. So if you can't agree on this ...

GorgonLondon · 06/05/2018 21:40

  1. A year is a ridiculously short time to decide you want to marry someone and have children with them.

  2. If you want to get married, discuss it like adults rather than waiting around for the Milk Tray man to parachute in with an engagement ring concealed in the heart of an oyster on a tray of black silk with a phalanx of can-can dancing poodles.

Sparkles1992 · 06/05/2018 23:31

Are you sure you you don't just want to be 'engaged'? Seems very quick, I want my DP to propose now after 3.5 years but I'd have not said yes after 1. You can't possibly know after 1 year everything about a person

Mamabear1475 · 06/05/2018 23:34

I agree. After a year you still probably know hardly anything about him. Honeymoon period is still going. And the best proposals are surprise ones. Not you telling him to. Don't force it or it won't happen at all

RainySeptember · 06/05/2018 23:38

I agree that it's too soon. I also think he will have reservations because of the way his last relationship ended. He now knows that it's possible to really love someone and still have it all go wrong.

Wolfiefan · 06/05/2018 23:39

A year is nothing. I doubt he feels it'll look bad but rather that he's not ready. What's the rush?

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 06/05/2018 23:39

  1. you have a tongue in your head, if you want to get married, ask him to marry you.

  2. do not have a baby or even try for a baby with anyone who won’t make the lesser commitment of marriage. Seriously. Think it through.

  3. it’s too soon for either marriage or a child. It’s entirely possible you are his rebound relationship.

BubblingUp · 06/05/2018 23:41

You're 29. That seems to be the panic age. Are all your friends getting engaged and getting married?

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/05/2018 23:45

We definitely knew within a year that we wanted to get married. But no one proposed, we talked about it a lot then decided to do it. I wouldn’t want something so significant to be decided by someone else.

He’s given you an indication of where he’s at by saying it could take 7 years. Listen to what he’s telling you.

Given that, absolutely don’t ttc until you’re married. Being engaged isn’t a thing and doesn’t mean you’ll actually get married, it gives you no security at all. You might get a ring but it means nothing legally.

A year isn’t that long but if you definitely want to get married, you need to have a proper grown up chat. Tell him how much he means to you and if he doesn’t want th same things then walk away.

You don’t want to marry someone who doesn’t want to marry you so if he does propose but only because you’ve “made him” it won’t be what you’re hoping for.

ellie232 · 06/05/2018 23:47

Don’t have a baby without getting married first.

SandyY2K · 07/05/2018 00:18

If you want marriage, having a baby first isn't wise.

I can see why he's not rushing into a second marriage so soon.

After 1 year, do you know him well enough to commit to him for the rest of your life?

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