Could he be cheating...snapchat?

[anothersadday122]

For background I have access to my partners phone / location / Instagram and Facebook regularly. So if he was going to hide something he would know he needs to be clever.

A while ago my DP had an older iPhone and it had no memory and was at the end of its life. Apps kept going onto the cloud due to lack of memory and one of these was Snapchat. He said that he deleted it as there was no point and I thought nothing of it. I had seen his snapchat before, barely used, not as popular among his friends.

Then a few weeks later snapchat is back, I commented on this. He said it automatically downloaded again with the software update. He had had a software update and seemed like a typical iPhone issue so just accepted it. Couldn't see anything incriminating, then he deleted it again as I thought it was odd how he didn't want it and then suddenly did.

Anyway, now he has a new iPhone. One night a few weeks ago, he fell asleep so I got his phone to set his alarm for work (when this happens he usually sleeps through). When I double tapped the home button the App Store had been open with "snapchat" in the search bar. I thought it was odd. I know the password so I downloaded it on my phone and logged in to see if anything suspicious was there - nothing was. So I then asked him about it and he said he'd gone on to see something he'd read about Cardi B (he's obsessed with her) then deleted it after. This sounded odd but I accepted his word as I hadn't seen anything when I'd looked.

Then last night, he fell asleep again. I got his phone and I swiped to the left where it shows "Siri app suggestions" and for half a second snapchat was one, it then disappeared as the app had since been deleted. A small glitch that occurs when you've had an app and then deleted it but from experience you have to have had the app/used it most recently.

The reason this makes me think he's cheating is because I've been logged into his snapchat on my phone since the issue of the App Store and if you log in on another device it would have signed me out. Therefore I know he hasn't been on his account. This means he has another one and the only reason for a secret account is not good...! I asked him and he denied ever going on it since our last discussion.

I'm at a loss at what to do/believe! Anyone got ideas/advice? My gut has a bad feeling on this

I know Apple are good, but your faith in their devices never doing anything inexplicable seems extreme. It happens particularly after a soft-ware update, but sometimes randomly, too.

From what you've written, I wouldn't trust your gut feeling, either. Too much time on the Relationships board is making you jump at shadows.

Wow. I could never be in a relationship like this. I’d never need my partners location shared nor even notice what apps he has. I’d never think to check his phone, messages or Facebook.

How can people live like this? How can you have a life partner you don’t trust? I’m really sad for you OP. It’s such a horrible way to live. I hope you can either find proof of him cheating or manage to find a way to trust him.

Just think if OP was a man, MN community would be up in arms about stalker like activities and warn OP didn't bode well for future and to expect more controlling behaviour...

Agree. If I was with the OP I’d want a minutes peace

Exhausting

Hello all, ok to explain.
He has a Snapchat account, fine. No issue. However he didn't access that one, meaning he has to have accessed another. There is absolutely no reason for this unless it's suspicious.

As an update: after a ridiculous and tiresome amount of snooping I found another account. Barely used, seemed old. Has to have been used more than 3 weeks ago meaning I don't think it's the one I was worried about.

My partner didn't "realise" this existed and suddenly became more accommodating saying he realised it seemed dodgy.

Moving forward, I've decided to just see what happens. I have no proof of anything so will take his word for it unless anything makes me question it.

FYI I am actually not funny or "crazy" about anything else. He goes on nights out and I don't really think about it. Don't question, don't worry etc. Phones are the issue for me and I think it is partly due tothis forum and things I've heard. Most people I know have cheated or had someone cheat through a phone. I've witnessed married men cheating dozens of times. Married men have attempted to hit on me... I hate it. I am very moralistic. I'm vigilant

I feel sorry for him

Dress it up however you want OP, but you snoop on his phone whenever you get the chance. Why do you need to know his location?! Other than to stalk where he is...

It’s convienient how he just happens to be asleep every single time you check his phone

I have Snapchat. 99% of the time it’s deleted because it’s such a drain on my battery and 3G however every now and then I’ll download it, have a nosey, then delete it again until next time. If my DP assumed that = I might be cheating, I’d tell his paranoid arse to grow up!

So what if he has a Snapchat account?! Who are you to go checking up on his app useage???

You need help

what are you getting out of this relationship I'm just exhausted by the lack of trust

This is utter madness, why is anyone encouraging this ludicrous behaviour?! The ‘relationship’ sounds toxic. Monitoring his phone like you would a young teenage DC is not healthy or normal. It’s bonkers. Controlling, possessive and bonkers.

Maybe he’s downloaded a secret Snapchat to send SOS messages to his friends

I feel totally sorry for him even with your update. This level of control IS abuse and if you were a man plenty would be saying he should LTB.

I think you should step away from MN and get some help with the trust issues you have. You’re actually projecting relationships board scenarios onto him in real life. That’s not right or normal. The other big issue is you will always find people on this board who will try and convince you it’s ok behaviour. It’s not.

I don't think this is ludicrous at all

He has a snapchat account - all transparent

He also has a second snapchat account or Siri had a moment

If the former, AND he has form for cheating, I see nothing wrong with a 'hmmmm, wtf ' moment/s by @anothersadday122

It's something to check out imo