Background - my husband is self employed in a demanding and sometimes very busy industry (think construction based). He works very long hours and works every day except Christmas and very rare days out. He makes (I think) good money.
I do not work and instead look after our children (all under 7) as with his long and erratic hours, childcare would be more expensive for any job I ended up doing. I do try to make money though and do SOME casual work however and take a small wage from our business for the admin tasks I do.
I moved a long way from family and friends to be with him, and apart from one friend I have no help whatsoever. Because of this we recently got an au pair. She is very good but obviously costs money. She is paid partly from his money and partly from what I earn (which doesn't fully cover her money).
So. Here's the question.
I do a sport which I have done for over 20 years. It's very very important to me, more so because I have been fairly depressed for the last few years with having small babies and no friends.
It costs money but not much (it would average about £50-£100 a month over the year) but I pay the vast majority from my money.
I also train others in this sport and need accreditation. The training brings in NO money after costs, it's purely for my own enjoyment.
My husband constantly criticises my sport and it's been a major sticking point over the years. Everyone who does it is a loser and it's a waste of money etc etc. It would have been easier to just stop but then I'd properly have fuck all going on.
Last week I realised that my accreditation was running out. It's due every 3 years. If I let it lapse then a lot of hard work will have been in vain. It will cost around £500 with travel and a night away to complete it.
I must stress however, that I won't see that £500 again - it's just for enjoyment and won't bring in any money.
I don't have £500 because everything I bring in at the moment goes to pay the au pair. So I'm trying to sell some things to fund it.
Last night I told my husband that I'd managed to raise £200 from selling things. His response was 'where's my half?' This is because one of the things I sold belonged to childred when they were little. It was a fancy car seat. It raised £50.
He thinks this is massively out of order and I was reduced to tears this morning talking about it. He doesn't want the £25, 'it's the principle.' I've pointed out that otherwise I just do not have the money at which point we had digs about 'oh and why is that??' (Because I don't work. He never seems to realise why he makes so much more than me).
He told me that anyone I asked would tell me how unreasonable I'm being.
So am I?