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Original poster

He’s just not that into me, is he?

103 replies

CandiedPeach · 26/04/2018 17:56

Went on a date with a guy last week, we got on really well seemed to have a connection and enjoyed a rather nice kiss at the end of the night.

Anyway the few days afterwards quite a bit of messaging (mostly started from him) then he said he was really busy over the weekend and that he’d message Monday or Tuesday and would I like to do something next weekend (so this weekend coming).
Then nothing.......

Really not looking for anything serious but still my egos a bit dented as I thought he was quite into me and I was quite looking forward to seeing him again.

OP posts:
Original poster
CandiedPeach · 26/04/2018 20:46

You can’t genuinely be too busy to send a message though can you?
Think I’ll just reply that I’m busy and see if he makes any effort at any other time or is that just cutting nose off, when I’ll end up staying in and I could go out and have a fun night.

I’m not good at dating. I prefer the few months in stage where you know what’s going on and know each other well.

OP posts:
keepingbees · 26/04/2018 20:48

I think I'd be inclined to do exactly what you've just said. Don't be too available. Say you're busy, and if he's interested he'll make an effort to see you another time. Others may disagree but that's what I'd do.

Original poster
CandiedPeach · 26/04/2018 20:49

I know that Justmuddling and wouldn’t actually expect him not to at this stage. Although he did say he hadn’t been dating much as he’s so busy at the moment.

OP posts:
LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 26/04/2018 20:51

I wouldn't play games. If you aren't busy and want to go, go! If you're busy or don't want to go, don't! So much energy can be wasted in second guessing someone else's actions and then planning your behaviour.

Jaxtellerswife · 26/04/2018 20:51

Personally I'd go, have fun and see what you feel like afterwards. No games. It's very early days. If you say you're busy and don't go he will probably take that as not interested and then that's the end of it

Justmuddlingalong · 26/04/2018 20:53

I'm not saying you would expect it to be exclusive, but you seem quite invested, brain space wise, on someone you've been on one date with. Whereas, he could have been out two or three times already this week. You're taking what he says about being busy at face value.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 26/04/2018 20:58

Personally, I would go. I don't have time for playing games. Maybe he's better in person than sending messages? Way back in the good ol' days, people arranged dates and then didn't really have contact until the date. That's not a bad thing.

BadTasteFlump · 26/04/2018 20:59

Do you want to go though? If you do, go! Go out, have fun and see it as a chance to relax & go with it. Imo he's not done anything wrong - he suggested doing something at the weekend and is now following up on that.

RolyPolyLilBatFaceGirl · 26/04/2018 21:03

It's very clear you want more than he does or you wouldn't be over analysing like this

You've had one date. He set up another date. He's actually done nothing wrong considering you've met ONCE

stop over thinking it and stop playing games

DelphiniumBlue · 26/04/2018 21:03

He's left it a bit late for tomorrow though? Better to reschedule for next week, otherwise you'll be wondering how keen he really is.

Justmuddlingalong · 26/04/2018 21:03

I would go too. You like him, he wants to meet again. Just go with the flow and see where it leads. Maybe somewhere, maybe nowhere, but relax and enjoy yourself.

Whisky2014 · 26/04/2018 21:03

Dont game play. If you want to see him then arrange tomorrow night. If you dont, end it now. Dont fuck about trying to get the ball in your court.

DameXanaduBramble · 26/04/2018 21:06

It shouldn’t be this difficult this early. Next.

Crickettime · 26/04/2018 21:19

If you like him then go. He asked to do something this weekend and as you were only free on Friday, in his mind that’s what’s been agreed. He’s followed up with a text to say dinner and drinks, I would say he’s keen too. People who aren’t keen would generally suggest just drinks or something else than dinner. If you say you’re busy he will most likely assume you’re not interested.

Original poster
CandiedPeach · 26/04/2018 21:20

We’ve arranged to meet tomorrow. I’ve got nothing to lose, it’s jusy something to eat and we had fun last time.

I think it’s thrown me because he was messaging a lot at first and was trying to arrange for us to meet sooner. He was genuinely busy at the weekend I know that, but I expected something when he was back. Then yesterday a few friends who know about him were asking if I’d heard from him and I thought, hmm, no actually I haven’t and that’s a bit weird if he’s wanting to meet on Friday.

OP posts:
SassyPasty · 26/04/2018 21:21

What on earth is this need for messaging in between? You've met once, decided you'd like to meet again and now he's suggested a decent sounding plan for a second meet up. Just get on with it Grin

Original poster
CandiedPeach · 26/04/2018 21:23

I haven’t just met him though. I’ve know him a while but through friends of a friend thing and we’d actually arranged a date a while back but it never happened (for my reasons). But he’s not a stranger hence why he’s able to like and comment on my pictures.

OP posts:
halfwitpicker · 26/04/2018 21:25

Just see him again as planned and take it from there.

Original poster
CandiedPeach · 26/04/2018 21:26

And he hadn’t confirmed on the Friday, I’d said I could only do Friday and he said he’d find out if he was working or not and let me know. So it wasn’t planned and if I’d had another offer I’d probably have taken it!

OP posts:
CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 26/04/2018 21:31

Maybe drop into conversation that he was lucky you hadn't made other plans. Then see if he makes plans in good time next time or still makes you feel like a last choice.

SparklyMagpie · 26/04/2018 21:31

Tbh I think you're over thinking all of this, just go along and have fun
Don't start questioning things so much

Viviennemary · 26/04/2018 21:33

I'd go out for the meal or drinks. But don't lay your cards on the table and tell him what kind of relationship you want. Anyway it's too early to decide that IMHO. Keep him guessing a bit and just live for the moment and stop worrying about what's round the corner. I always do though and overthink things.

Cricrichan · 26/04/2018 22:47

You want things casual and he's keeping it casual. Win win, right?

Bluntness100 · 26/04/2018 22:53

I'm not sure you want this to be as casual as you're claiming, you're already talking about "a few months in".you prob need to be honest with yourself here. 💐

Original poster
CandiedPeach · 26/04/2018 23:09

I feel a bit stupid Blush and definitely think I’m over thinking it!

He FaceTimed and we’ve been chatting for a while, he said he meant to message to say he’d got Friday off work and he just completely forgot. He’s been really busy and working lates so not getting home until early hours, he seemed very tired when I was talking to him.

So anyway, now I’m going out tomorrow and don’t have time to wax my legs (was planning on doing it tonight and ended up posting on here instead). At least it’s back to jeans weather though and it helps me solve my do we/don’t we have sex thoughts. Let’s just hope there’s a third date for that!

OP posts: