Muslim godparent??

[captainbizz]

Ok so I name changed for this one as it is SO OUTING.

One of DH close friends happens to be his ex-gf. This is something that took me quite a while to get my head around but it's all fine now and I get on well with her.

For complete info, they were together 5 years from 22-27yo ish, had no children together, families are close etc. Been split up 6yrs, we've been together 4.

Ex-gf is pregnant but unfortunately her relationship broke down.
Last week she presented DH with a card, including a scan pic asking "will you be my godfather".

I now have really mixed emotions and can't tell if I'm being unreasonable simply because deep down I still have a niggle regarding them having such a good relationship (ok prepared to be told I just need to grow up) BUT he is also Muslim (she is catholic) so I didn't even think it was possible he could be a godparent??

When I mentioned this in a "oh, is that even possible?" Kind of way it was met with bewilderment from him (as he has no clue if he can as he knows very little about the Catholic Church) and side eye from her as if I was trying to spoil their special moment. She said "of course he can!"

Maybe I should've posted this in AIBU because I'm prepared to be told IABU...??

5 years together seems a long time to suddenly realise you don’t want the same things.
Marriage and children,I would think those subjects would have come into the conversation a bit earlier.

Purple

He just didn't want to get married at that point, she did. I think it was a case of him staying in a relationship that was comfortable but she was getting frustrated by him not wanting to take the next step. I've been in a relationship similar and it's quite hard to make that break when you love them but you know they're just not ready.

Zzzzzz

You're right. Tbh I think he's pleased for the excuse, and I can breathe a sigh of relief!

My children's godfather is Sikh! They were baptised in a high Church of England church.

He can't be godfather if he is Muslim.

Macarena1990
are you sure he isn't a sponsor or witness?

I don't understand how as a Sikh he could have said all the gumpf and meant it.

Isn't it a it strange to ask someone to bear witness to a sacrament and the expect them to help their godchild live their life in a Christian way but picking someone who isn't a Christian to do that.

I'm CofE and have been a godparent to loads of catholic children (I'm actually an atheist since becoming a godparent) I don't think it matters.

I also don't think you are being U to feel a little uncomfortable with the situation. It's easy to not be in your position and tell you to grow up, but the fact remains, it makes you uncomfortable. You are only human.

He can't be the child's godparent if he's Muslim. That's his get out clause. I'd be quite uncomfortable with her lack of boundaries and his continuing to not put some in.

As far as I was told, it's possible to be a Christian witness for a child instead of a godparent if you're not Catholic but at least one Catholic godparent was needed and the others had to be Christian.

We had Odd Parents for my dc. We still got to have a party and did a little ceremony for the OP’s but just skipped the bullshit about raising them with Christian values. We even did it in a beautiful deconsecrated church. They do have all the nicest buildings after all.

But yeah, weird for her to clearly not think it might be any kind of issue.

dunno in england but in scotland you dont need to be catholic to be a godparent at a catholic christneing

I found this. I filled in forms which stated that the godparents had to be Catholic. She could lie on the firm of course...they don't ask for evidence...but that would be an awful thing to do and mske a mockery of it.

How can he say "I do" when asked if he'll help the parent/s bring the child up in the Catholic faith... when he's muslim.

It really shows she hasn't got a clue and the baptism is more of a tick box exercise.

Personally this level of closeness with an Ex wouldn't work for me.

She's going to extra lengths to always have him in her life.

In order for someone to be eligible as a godparent they must be chosen by the parents, have the ability and the intention to fulfill the role, be at least 16 years of age, and be a confirmed Roman Catholic, who has already received the Most Holy Eucharist, is leading a life in harmony with the Catholic Faith (including Marriage) and will be a good role model for the one being baptized, and be neither the father nor the mother of the child.

A baptized person who belongs to another Christian community may be admitted only as a “Christian witness” (not a godparent) provided that there is at least one Roman Catholic godparent who fulfills the above criteria. A non-baptized person cannot be a witness (Code of Canon Law, cc. 872-874; Catechism of the Catholic Church 1255).

My bil is a godparent and he is Muslim. He doesn't practice though, as far as I know he hasn't become Christian.

I'm sorry but how the chuff can you stand in church as a Muslim and swear to help raise a child as a follower of Christ. Madness! This mother/exgf is crackers. I'm glad your DP is relieved he doesnt have to do it and I definitely counsel keeping an eye out on this friendship.

He recently had a great achievement in his line of work and she was over social media saying how proud of him she is, it's silly but I feel like it's MY place to be proud IYSWIM

That would piss me off too. It's a lack of boundaries.

She's the kind of person you want to just go away and leave you alone.

No as a muslim he can't because it's against his faith and also he has to be a Catholic to be a godparent

Well, this thread has cleared up nothing.

I was the only “catholic” godparent for my niece, although not practicing. But there was no proof of my religion.

If he’s a practicing Muslim, I don’t know how he can accept. That would be pretty much denying his own faith, wouldn’t it?

Greatest load of crap ever 😂

Who on earth would think that being a godparent was just an honorary title, and doesn't carry religious responsibilities that the church will take seriously? Godparent. It's right there in the name. It's about religion. A Muslim couldn't possibly be a godparent for a Catholic child, any more than a Jew could be a godparent for a Muslim or Christian. I'm not even religious and I know that much 😂

I too agree with NurseButtercup. It sounds like your DP's future would become full of, 'But, but, but you're his/her GP you need to be there for baby/child/teen', and so on throughout the child's whole life.

You said that she wanted marriage and kids. Well by being the child's God Parent, your DP would be tied to her like a marriage and it sounds like she would make full use of this situation.

And OP, I bet that 9/10 people reading her gushing SM posts about him were thinking what a daft arse she was for posting it.