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Original poster

how often you you and you DP have sex/make love?

101 replies

shinypeople · 13/05/2007 15:26

My poor husband is feeling unloved as he always has to initiate sex between us.

He was even talking about us splitting up.

We have 3 children (8,6 and 3) and i feel permanently exhausted. Sex is the last thing on my mind.

I work part time (22 hours a week) in a low paid (but very rewarding job) and when i get home, I have to make lunch and then tidy the house before picking up big 2 from school.

Hubby works from home although work is very quiet and he looks after our 3 year old (who is also at preschool 3 mornings).

We only manage once a week and that is only because DH puts in the effort! Just wondering what the "norm" is?

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 14/05/2007 15:49

How do you mean Sue? Is it his usual voice? Or a voice he uses in the bedroom??

SueBaroo · 14/05/2007 16:03

he uses it in the bedroom. I've mentioned before about it, but it just seems to be instinctive. Ah well, I only have to hear it once a year or so, so I shouldn't moan.

paulaplumpbottom · 14/05/2007 16:04

Maybe he has low testosterone

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 14/05/2007 16:05

Could you tell him to just "shut up" and "get on with it" that you don't need to be "talked to".. just "seen to"?? (Not meaning to flippant.. it must be very offputting!)

SueBaroo · 14/05/2007 16:09

paula, yeah, I'm sure he probably does. Wish I did, lol. I think I need a nice cup of bromide a day personally.

Shiny, it's a grin and bear it thing. I mean, it's not like he does it deliberately to annoy me, poor thing.

Crazydazy · 14/05/2007 16:12

Varies -
Once a week - normal
Twice a week - lucky boy
Three times a week - more chance of plaiting fog

Mind you he could get lucky as we get married in two weeks so that week I might just up it to 3 times a week.

After that we are married and so he'll be lucky if he gets it once a month

Anniegetyourgun · 14/05/2007 18:05

Never! And that's too often. If he were the last man on earth, courted me for a hundred years and force-fed me aphrodisiacs, I wouldn't touch him with the proverbial barge pole.

OrmIrian · 14/05/2007 18:05

1.5 times a week on average. The .5 is a bit of a letdown

lovemybed · 14/05/2007 18:09

did it 7 times on saturday because husband was just back after 2 months away (usually do it once a day) unfortunatly for him though a lump appeared in his groin in the sunday morning so he has been away to docs today to get it checked and it turns out it is a hernia, im not sure if this will be related to the 7 times on saturday or not but im not about to phone my gp and ask

SueBaroo · 14/05/2007 18:22

you did it so much he got a hernia?

lovemybed · 14/05/2007 18:27

im not sure is that possible, i have to say it was 7 very quick times but the lump was def not there until the sunday morning!!

Bouquetsofdynomite · 14/05/2007 18:30

So do all the ladies who get it more than 5 times a week feel like they're consistently getting quality with their quantity? It's been 10yrs since I last had a quickie (pre-DH)- I honestly can't remember what it's like. Sometimes I'd love to be able to, like when the kids are playing downstairs etc.

Smurfgirl · 14/05/2007 18:38

Not as much as we should for a childless couple in our twenties apparently

Monkeytrousers · 14/05/2007 18:38

How are your orgasms after the third one Shiny?

Pinkcherub · 14/05/2007 18:42

God i wish, mine is in Africa at the mo and not had any for 2 weeks. Normally about 4-6 times a month.

So about 1nc a week, too tired for it otherwise. I hope thats about norm.

Otherwise i just might go away and cry right now.

Getting desparate!!!!!

He's home Friday Yippeeee shagfest until ooohhhh at least Sat morning.

MamaHulk · 14/05/2007 18:42

It's been so long I consider myself a born again virgin!

MamaHulk · 14/05/2007 18:49

Very embarrased about my confession now - since noones about - I think I'll go away and fantisise about how we use to do it before kids and house building!! p.s. not a bav on purpose - but generous enough to be really glad that someone's getting it...

lovemybed · 14/05/2007 19:11

mamahulk dont know what your situation is but can you not just pounce on your dh/dp etc tonight and hope for te best

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 14/05/2007 21:29

Pardon me Monkeytrousers???

Monkeytrousers · 15/05/2007 09:37

I'd get tired of orgasms if I had to have them 9 times a night!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 15/05/2007 11:13

Ah.. well I only said that I "did it" 9 x day, not that I had 9 orgasms. I also said I was joking when to my amazement, someone believed me!

Original poster
shinypeople · 15/05/2007 19:07

to those that do it daily, how long have you been with your partner? DH and i have been together for nearly 18 years.

What with the normal stresses of life, kids and work, I guess that the bedroom stuff is an easy thing to lose after so long?

OP posts:
Bouquetsofdynomite · 15/05/2007 20:26

Ah but SP did you ever do it daily after moving in together? I think the complacency of cohabiting is probably the first hurdle to maintaining that can't-keep-your-hands-off-eachother vibe. I plan to kick DH into the spare room when kids have grown up and moved out so we can pretend we just met and 'date' . Long way off though LOL.

LaDiDaDi · 15/05/2007 20:34

Varies from 4 times a week to once a fortnight though I can see it stopping completely as dp has had to go to hospital today with a bad back after a particularly good session .

ZisforZebra · 15/05/2007 20:48

When I was pregnant and straight after we barely did it for 12 months each time (not at all during the pregnancies) and when we did it was a real effort from my perspective. He was desperate and on more that one occassion I told him have someone else - he didn't though.

Now we go in phases. Sometimes it's once a week or less but in the last 3 weeks we've done it about 16 times. We've been together 11.5 years and I fancy him even more now than I ever have.