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Original poster

how often you you and you DP have sex/make love?

101 replies

shinypeople · 13/05/2007 15:26

My poor husband is feeling unloved as he always has to initiate sex between us.

He was even talking about us splitting up.

We have 3 children (8,6 and 3) and i feel permanently exhausted. Sex is the last thing on my mind.

I work part time (22 hours a week) in a low paid (but very rewarding job) and when i get home, I have to make lunch and then tidy the house before picking up big 2 from school.

Hubby works from home although work is very quiet and he looks after our 3 year old (who is also at preschool 3 mornings).

We only manage once a week and that is only because DH puts in the effort! Just wondering what the "norm" is?

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 13/05/2007 21:26

probably twice a week sometimes more sometimes less

NotanOtter · 13/05/2007 21:27

are you happy with the way things are lily?
do you enjoy sex?

lilymylovely · 13/05/2007 21:31

I am perfectly happy. Don't fancy him remotely. No, I don't like sex. Never have.

Flamesparrow · 13/05/2007 21:32

Don't deer only do it once a year or so?

gythaoggsfrog · 13/05/2007 21:36

How often ?

Do you mean with each other?

Me - too often
DH - not often enough

Wotzsaname · 13/05/2007 21:38

I know we have at least twice as we have 2 dcs...but I'm not willing to tell you more than that.

Flamesparrow · 13/05/2007 21:38

pmsl @ "with each other"

northernjon · 13/05/2007 22:33

not since 1996

sheepgomeep · 13/05/2007 22:38

snort.. rarely.. mind you am 40 weeks pg, need a bloody hoist to get me on top, then he gets fed up with me whinging 'mind me bump, tits ooh me bits.'

Flamesparrow · 13/05/2007 22:57

lmao - we'll forgive you then SGM

Turns out I'm not ovulating.

Tis very odd!

harrisey · 13/05/2007 23:08

My kids are 7.5.3.

We 'do it' 1-2 times a week I would say - I make an effort if he's up for it and I'm not , and vice versa - he works a couple of nights a week which complicates things.

Its s central part of a relationship I think. To know you have that time and respect for one another. To be prepared to make the effort for the other. To be ready to get into it when you dont think you are up for it.

'Making love' is creating more of what gels you together as a a couple. We make the love, then we live with it, it keeps us going .....

Flamesparrow · 13/05/2007 23:18

New question... how often do you "make love" and how often have sex?

Love making is much less than our sex...

eachpeachnallyplum · 13/05/2007 23:21

oh god. how come when i was on one of these threads a couple of weeks ago, there were a lot of people saying that they don't do it much? i am not into sex as much as i used to be, because of the usual reasons - tiredness, babies, stress, etc - and was telling dh about how lots of other people on mn have said the same. anyway, he looked at this thread over my shoulder and found that, suddenly, out of nowhere, mn has been infested with nymphos! he has gone off to bed, muttering and sulking...

Flamesparrow · 13/05/2007 23:22

If you'd asked me a few weeks ago I was in a once a year phase

PregnantGrrrl · 14/05/2007 08:39

not enough!

mumblechum · 14/05/2007 13:16

3 times a week on average. I don't understand how a marriage can continue with virtually no sex. It's just part of showing each other you still love each other, isn't it??

Enid will be along in a minute to put us all straight.

hayes · 14/05/2007 13:21

sometimes every night, sometimes once a week sometimes once a month...our relationship goes in fits and starts and I think that is normal, still love him to pieces even when we not having frequent sex. we went through an at it like rabbits stage 3 weeks ago but haven;'t done it since. I was ill and after didn't feel like it(wrong time of month now) so will probably get back into swing by weekend.

Bouquetsofdynomite · 14/05/2007 14:09

We try really hard to manage once a week. For various reasons 'quickie' sex is out of the question so we both tend to fall asleep after our 'weekly workout'!

mozhe · 14/05/2007 14:25

Every time Dh and go to bed with one another....at the moment I am living and working in France and DH is commuting on weekends so it's only x 2 a week...but when we all live in London again, watch out !! Well we do have 5 children and one on the way....seriously though sex is good for you..

Gemmitygem · 14/05/2007 14:28

gosh, all these people doing it every day! Yikes!!!!!

mozhe · 14/05/2007 14:31

Yeah get to it !!! Honest you'll feel/look better.....I often ' prescribe ' it to patients,( if appropriate obviously...).Enjoy.

Eowyn · 14/05/2007 14:32

averages once every 3 months for last 7 years (dd=7). by then he is quite keen but never seems bothered usually. I'm permanantly gagging for it but not necessarily with him...or anyone else I know. mind you, it's only been the most recent 2 times it hasn't hurt (psychological i guess but hard to avoid with mr incompetant)...

Bouquetsofdynomite · 14/05/2007 14:42

Oh Eowyn! Have you tried ignoring his feelings and directing him explicitly? Or is he just a pig?

pinkprincesswurly · 14/05/2007 14:52

every other day normally, sometimes daily sometimes once a month.

SueBaroo · 14/05/2007 15:47

We managed it for the first time in a year the other night. Dh just isn't that bothered. Married nearly 7 years and I could cry, tbh. Tried everything to try and get him in the mood, but in all honesty, he's not really got that mood. And he's really quite a prude, one way or no way, if you get me. He uses this really camp and unsexy voice, too. I'm awful, really