WWYD he is betraying me should I stay

[girlfromwest]

He is betraying me all the time, lies to me all the time. He is 30 years older. He loves me but he has issues and is doing awful things behind my back. I just gave birth to our baby girl 6 months ago. I don't love him as a man, I love him as a father of my child. He used to be my best friend, the only one, the love of my life until I was 4 months pregnant and couldn't take it anymore. I hope he is not the love of my life, if he is then I am a very unlucky person. I hope the love of my life is somewhere there, he must be so unhappy too, I will never meet him because I'm stuck with someone who promised me so much love. I promised myself I will make my baby girl happy, I will give her the full family for forever. I want her to have her Daddy always there. He gets angry when I mention betrayals. So I stay quiet and live with it. By the way I am slim and pretty and we had sex 3 weeks after c-section and Still do have good sex life. He says he has issues and is sorry. I don't want to be with him I don't want to see his face ever again. We have a happy life but I cry multiple times a day, in despair, only when in the shower on when girl is asleep. my baby girl, she deserves a happy family. Should I put up with this for forever?

if you are crying multiple times a day then you don't have a happy life.

don't stay with someone who makes you unhappy. life is too bloody short

A happy life and crying multiple times a day totally contradict each other.

No you won’t find someone who will make you happy while you are with him. You know that.

You're attractive and smart, why are you with an elderly cheater?!

Dump him now. The younger you are the more time you have to meet someone nice and decent.

What would you do? I can't do it to my girl, every little girl needs her Daddy. I'm 30, first time mum. Should I get the divorce or should I shut up and pretend it's all good?

Nobody is going to tell you to put and shut up. There’s nothing else to say.

Babies won’t know any difference.

In what way is he betraying you? Do you mean he has affairs?

If he is, then LTB.

I loved him so much I could die for him, Baby was planned, my biggest dream coming true, then I started finding things out. The lies, the betrayals, the humiliation. What would you do? I'm struggling between being a mother or being a woman. Mother would stay for the baby's sake, yes? Woman would leave and never turned around?

How is he betraying you? Realistically could you turn a blind eye without it breaking you?

He is talking to a lot of women on the internet. I checked his phone and computer and confronted him many times. There where awful things. the recent one was him sending money to a woman for a train ticket so she comes over to have sex with him in a hotel during working hours

No. Being a mother is irrelevant. Staying means showing your daughter that a woman's feeling are unimportant, that a cheating partner is all she is worth and she should be grateful. That a poor relationship is the most she can hope for.

Leave him, make a happy life for yourself and your child, show her that being alone is better than being in a crap relationship with someone who doesn't value you.

Your DD can have a relationship with her father without you being together. Think about what examples she is going to learn about growing up if you stay.

being a good mother is leaving showing your daughter that a woman does not need to put up and shut up

she can still have a dad if you leave

Why on earth would you want that ghastly man in your baby's life??

This man is a revolting piece of shit.

You think you would be doing the right thing by your daughter by staying with him? You would not. Absolutely not. Let go of that thought right now.

You and your daughter deserve a much, much better life than this, and you owe it to her to get out and get her into a healthy environment.

Leave him.

And you sound wrung out my love, end of your tether. I gently suggest you see your GP and take care of yourself.

I can never say I made a mistake because my daughter is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. But the moments we wake up, her Dad is there and she is so happy and laughs. I want her to feel safe and to have a full family. I would probably find another man within a year anyway. But it's the Daddy thing that I am worried about the most. That's what stops me. I don't know how to be a single mum. Is anyone there a single mum or knows one? Is it possible to make a child happy and safe? Not bullied by others for a lack of Dad and scared

No one wants to be a single parent. But a happy family is one full of love, kindness and respect.

Sounds like all of those are missing...

That's what stops me. I don't know how to be a single mum. Is anyone there a single mum or knows one? Is it possible to make a child happy and safe? Not bullied by others for a lack of Dad and scared.

From the way you write I am guessing you are not British born? Are you living in the U.K. now?

My dd is 8 - of her class at school I would say over half the kids either have a single parent (nearly always single mum) or are living in a blended family (usually mum plus step dad) or are part of a “second family” (ie they live with mum and dad but there are half siblings who either live with them or elsewhere).

The only child I know of who doesn’t seem happy and safe on the surface is the one who lives with mum and dad and they argue and fight constantly.

It is not unusual at all.

Yes if you are in the UK she would not be bullied at all, both my DC have friends who parents are divorced, remarried with half siblings, half siblings by more than one person and neither think anything of it

I'm not British born. Husband is. He is quite known. I'd love to get up one day and tell everyone what he is doing, but I never will. I guess I will leave but how to do it? When I mention it he gets angry and siucidal

Suicidal, I meant. Forgive the misspellings, I've been crying x

We live in London x

The threatening of suicide is just another bullying tactic meant to keep you under his control.

Everything you have said about this vile man just gets worse and worse, you cannot stay and ruin your own life, and subject your daughter to this.

Others will be along with more practical advice on how to actually and physically leave than I can offer, but please accept the support and advice you will find on here, and start working towards building a free and happy life.

When you say quite known, do you mean famous? That shouldn't stop you from being happy. It doesn't mean anything.

You live in london and worried about your child being bullied for having a single mother sorry had to at that! I know way more single mums than mums in relationships. My mum was a single mum to 6 none of us were ever bullied for it and my 4 kids have never been bullied.