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Original poster

Drastically cutting monthly money...please help!

80 replies

Areallmencheats · 09/04/2018 12:31

My husband of 22 years unexpectedly left me last year, moved straight in with OW and has been paying my monthly bills of £1500 ever since.

I've left him and her to get on with their lives as I've no interest in a man who can desert his wife and sons (19 and 22) overnight having led a double life for months.

I've just received a message saying that now both is my sons have moved away he's going to reduce his contribution to £750 per month and that he wants me to put all the bills in my name.

He earns £4200 a month after tax.
I work full time, £8 an hour.

Surely I'm entitled to more than £750??? I can't survive on that. It doesn't even cover my rent of £850 let alone bills.

Please can anyone give me any advice on what I can reasonably expect him to give me every month.
Thank you.

OP posts:
Dozer · 09/04/2018 12:33

You need legal advice. Why haven’t you sought this already?

Original poster
Areallmencheats · 09/04/2018 12:36

I did see a solicitor last year but as my husband was paying for things I thought we could sort it out between us.

OP posts:
IWantMyHatBack · 09/04/2018 12:38

Aren't you divorced? To be honest, £750 sounds quite a lot, given both your sons have now moved out, but it depends on your individual circumstances.

Have your sons gone to university? Is he supporting them financially?

KarmaStar · 09/04/2018 12:38

Get a solicifor,ask around for the best one from friends,and do it today.
Don't put the bills in your name.
If you have any proof of his income keep it safe in case he tried to pull a fast one

MMmomDD · 09/04/2018 12:38

You need to properly file for divorce and seek maintenance.
Only a lawyer can help you here.
Have you seen a solicitor yet????

pog100 · 09/04/2018 12:40

You need legal advice quickly. However if both kids have finished education you are likely to be due half of the marital assets, which should take his pension into account. Depending on how your employment history, your contribution to childcare etc. You might get some spousal support for a limited time, but don't count on it. It's harsh maybe, but when a marriage ends both partners are expected to become independent, financially as well.
Sounds like you might be surprised how little "income" you might get from him, sorry.

Oneapenny · 09/04/2018 12:40

Assume you are not divorced? The financial settlement will be sorted with the divorce so I would get cracking.

Everyone’s case is different so you need advice on your situation although with the ages of your children and the fact you work full time might mean you are not entitled to much at all. (I have recently had to sell my home and exh never contributed a penny to the mortgage or bills or children since the day he left.)

Original poster
Areallmencheats · 09/04/2018 12:42

Were not divorced. He left 13 months ago. Both of our sons have got apprenticeships in different parts of the country and he gives them a bit of money , say £50, now and then.
Thankyou, I've just made an appointment for Friday.

OP posts:
privateporcupine · 09/04/2018 12:44

Not really the point perhaps, but if he was earning £4200 and you’ve been married 22 years, why have you been renting instead of having a mortgage? Unless you mean you’ve moved out into a rental since the split?

Babyplaymat · 09/04/2018 12:46

You need to get the assets split. Spousal maintenance doesn't really exist now, and as you don't have any children living with you he doesn't really have to fund you.

Babyplaymat · 09/04/2018 12:47

How long did you think it would continue for?

Oneapenny · 09/04/2018 12:47

When you have your appointment make sure you have details of all assets eg savings, pensions, house value if you do own etc.

Original poster
Areallmencheats · 09/04/2018 12:47

He never wanted to buy a house so we rented for 11 years.

OP posts:
donajimena · 09/04/2018 12:48

Can you try and increase your earning power? Study? Its very difficult I know. If you are renting is it possible to downsize?
Yes, you do need legal advice which I see you have arranged but longer term if you don't want to be scraping for cash you need to up your game.
I'm in a similar position so I'm studying.

Original poster
Areallmencheats · 09/04/2018 12:51

Yeah I can downsize, that wouldn't bother me at all.
I could study, however, I'm 53 and not sure if it's too late.

OP posts:
PrincessScarlett · 09/04/2018 12:54

£750 is a hell of a lot, I know lots of people who get much less than that with children under 18 living at home that need supporting.

Have you got savings/made any plans for the future or did you assume your DH would support you indefinitely?

StormTreader · 09/04/2018 12:55

You need to see a proper solicitor and get divorced - after 22 years you're entitled to half the assets including pension I think.
He was never going to give you £1500 pcm voluntarily for ever, you need to get it started quickly.

Original poster
Areallmencheats · 09/04/2018 12:58

Thank you ladies, I will see the solicitor and hope for a fair outcome although that sounds unlikely.

OP posts:
Babyplaymat · 09/04/2018 13:00

Depends what you class as fair. All assets should be split, but I'm not sure expecting him to fund you indefinitely is.

StormTreader · 09/04/2018 13:01

You want a solicitor that will push for the most you can possibly get. His will be pushing to give you nothing, and you'll end up somewhere in the middle.
Don't get too worried about starting "fair" or "nice" because you'll get bargained down to that later.

RandomMess · 09/04/2018 13:02

Wouldn't surprise me if he has savings hidden somewhere...

Babyplaymat · 09/04/2018 13:06

Agreed, especially without a property

privateporcupine · 09/04/2018 13:08

Why would anyone not want to buy? Genuine question. If you can afford it, what’s the benefit of renting instead?

BarbaraofSevillle · 09/04/2018 13:08

That's what I thought Random. He's had over a year to hide any money and without a house in joint names it could be anywhere.

Where did you live before the house you rented for 11 years if you were married for 22?

snewsname · 09/04/2018 13:11

I wouldn't have said you weren't entitled to any of his income given your kids are no longer dependents. It might be that you'd be best to just accept the £750 because if he sees a solicitor he may realise he doesn't even have to give you that. See what your solicitor says.

Do you have any asserts that you are entitled to half of?

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