DH made an OLD profile

[recklesslove]

We are in the very early stages of discussing our marital issues. 10 years married, 2 kids. We have talked about the possibility of splitting up but I am also very heavily pushing the idea that we can work through our issues. Counselling and talking to close friends has been rejected by him. He doesn’t seem to want to do anything to change. And now he has an online dating profile.

Please give me your opinions. Writing it down it seems pretty clear but I also need to hear it from others! Is there any hope?

If he has been looking and then decided to work on the marriage I don't think I would have him back. I'd think he'd looked, realised he couldn't find a better set up so decided I would do.

I met a lovely lady last year OP at a meet up thing. her DH went off like this too, just seemed all of a sudden to 'check out', she was a bit baffled and 'presumed' he had someone on the side, so did a bit of snooping and got the shock of her life when she discovered the kind of stuff you have found, except he had been actively doing it too, for many years it would seem. This was seemingly a kind, quietish family guy with a PHD. As she said it shook her beyond belief for a very long time. she kicked him out immediately. . He apparently got hooked on the buzz of OLD and escorts whilst married and wanted to be able to do it without the ties and lies needed 'within a family', no other woman involved, just wanted to be able to do as he pleased without answering to anyone --hugs for you !!

Sorry this is happening it must be a tremendous shock.

This may or may not be what you need to hear but your marriage is dead in the water - he has been very clear he has no interest in saving it.

Use the money you were going to spend on counselling on a SHL and start divorce proceedings.

He doesn’t seem to want to do anything to change. And now he has an online dating profile.

Sadly he is looking elsewhere. I'd try to get yourself and your finances sorted out