I've been dumped for another women

[Sunkist12]

In all honesty I've been blindsided, I never saw this coming. We were happy or so I thought. Time together was hard as I have children but made time for him/us. He's the type that's always overly affectionate, he's known as the good guy. Oh, we also work in the same building. Up until a few days ago he was giving me the same 'I love You' ' I miss You' then calls me straight after work and says I want to break up and gives some lame excuse that it's about being on 2 separate paths in life. When I pushed him further, he told me he's been texting another women from work and is breaking up a 2 year relationship for her. I'm broken, I'm dreading work and seeing him/her together. I know I will and it will hurt like a dagger through the heart. My question Is, how do I work with him and see him in his new relationship so soon? A part of me just wants to leave work but I know that's stupid. I'm trying to be the bigger the person, but honestly I'm crushed he could betray me and find someone better.

typo is the subject, was meaning woman fat fingers small keyboard.

aww I'm sorry :( Definitely don't give up your job, he's the one who should be dreading work for being such a cunt. Spend the weekend grieving the relationship, get it all out of your system and then try to fake it till you make it at work

He definitely isn't dreading work and I know I'll see them together. The thought of it, makes me feel sick. How can some men go from one relationship straight into another? I'm trying my best not to blame her as it takes two, but she knew he wasn't single and still went there.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Needless to say you deserve much better and I’m sure will find someone a thousand times kinder and better suited to you in future.

In the meantime though it is obviously so hurtful and I’m not sure I would be able to stay at my job in your position. It’s not fair at all that you should lose your job over it but I personally wouldn’t be able to deal with seeing them together. You’re at work for the majority of the week so it’s worth moving to somewhere you can have a fresh start and not be reminded of the pain so much every day. Until that point just hold your head up high and avoid them as much as possible - he should be ashamed and embarrassed to see you after what he’s done.

Big hugs and hope you get through this horrible time as quickly as possible

I know it’s not much comfort at the moment, but in the long run you’re well shot of the chap if this is how he behaves. He will probably dump the new woman when he tires of her, too. Write him off to experience, be kind to yourself and take time to grieve - not for him, he’s a shit, but for the man you thought he was.
Getting him out of your heart will clear space for someone more worth loving. I hope you find a much better replacement when you eventually feel ready.

Thank you so much for all your kind responses 🌹 I'm sat here reading them while sobbing! It took such a long time to let my guard down, and the last few weeks with him and I have been wonderful, really. Now I'm thinking while i was there with him he was probably messaging her while also telling me how lucky he is to have me. I need to grieve and move on, but I'll be unable to while seeing him everyday. Half of me is thinking he's a vile sack of shit and I hope the new girl dumps him pronto. Bit the other Half is thinking clearly she's something truly amazing to chuck away 2 years over

Now I'm thinking while i was there with him he was probably messaging her while also telling me how lucky he is to have me.

That sounds like a very lucky escape then!

I'm very sorry. Happened to me 25 years ago so I know just how shit it is You will get over this - but give yourself time to mourn first, don't rush into anything else.

I did a lot of crying in the loos at work - and luckily I had a sympathetic boss, so she didn't push me too much. I also made an 'announcement' to the team that I worked with - along the lines of 'XX and I are separating. I'm not prepared to talk about it, and I'd appreciate your support' so that (although I'm sure that they gossiped behind my back - it's human nature) I didn't have people asking me questions, which I couldn't have coped with.
And - somehow - I managed to keep my mouth shut, and never ran him down to them; it gave me the moral high ground, which made me feel (marginally) better, pissed off the OW and has helped us to remain civil. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I'm so glad that I managed it, for my DC's sake...!

Your story gives me hope!

Your right it was a lucky escape. He was honestly never like this and him saying there is someone else involved was the last thing I expected him to say. Completely blindsided

*you're

I've messaged him when I was feeling rather low and I've read it back and feel like an absolute beg.

If you love your job and have good colleagues and prospects there, then don't let this piece of shit cost you more than he already has.
In time you will see this as having dodged a bullet - a lying cheat is no prize. You will kick yourself if you let him cost you a good job too!
Obviously if job is horrid then by all means move on.

She's probably not amazing just new and exciting. My stbxh walked out on me and our dc for another woman. We'd been together for nearly 15yrs. He left our joint home and immediately moved in with her.
2 months later he dumped her, got with someone else and immediately (I mean, first night!) moved in with woman number 3. She tossed him out 3 weeks later. He came crawling back to me.
I told him that when the bin men take my rubbish I don't want it being brought back.
He's been single ever since, lives in a tiny flat and is distinctly lacking in female company.

Oh cactus that's absolutely horrible!! Did he give any indications? Did his behaviour change at all? Your poor babies. I'm so glad he only met one of my children, so he didn't let them down also

OP l really don't think he is worth your upset. They sound like they both deserve each other and you need to concentrate on moving on and being happy without that heap of shit. Good men don't do this to the person they love.

I feel like I'm to blame and I should have given him more attention. I told him from the start I had kids and they come first. Sometimes, I'd go a week or so without seeing him, purely because my kids needed me home. He was always so amazing and said I was a fantastic mum & person, I believed the lying piece of shit.

I sent 5 texts last night. 😶

I think I need to delete his number so I'm not tempted to do this again.

6 months and 2 years are both recognised "itchy feet" times, when a new exciting wide-eyed and easily impressed person seems tempting compared to the real-life relationship of whos taking the bins out and who forgot to get Aunty Mavis a birthday card.

It still hurts just as much, but please don't start thinking "clearly she's something truly amazing to chuck away 2 years over" because it may well be that the only thing shes got is being new.

I'm so sorry to hear this OP. I was in a similar situation years ago. We were in a situation also where we spent most of the day all in the same environment. I would definitely recommend the PP suggestion of making work aware but saying you don't want to talk about it. If I was you, as much as it hurt, I'd be civil to both, never disrespectful and would literally act like it didn't phase me - in public that is and definitely when around ex and his new gf. I'd also make myself look amazing - haircut, new clothes, new make up - nothing super dramatic but it deffo helps your confidence and self esteem when you have people complimenting you all the time. Look for other job opportunities and don't forget - this is a reflection of him, not you. I'm pretty sure he will realise the grass isn't greener and she will one day learn that if he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you! It will be hard but you will get through this OP. Hold your head high

he isnt the nice guy you thought he was, deep down. thank your lucky stars he showed you before you waste more life on him

Thank you storm, that's kind.

Definitely delete his number!

Yes delete his number otherwise you are pandering to his ego. No harm done.
When you go back to work ignore ignore ignore and look happy if you can. Honestly you will soon get over it.
Say no if he wants to come back otherwise it will be rinse repeat.
Good luck!