I've been dumped for another women

[Sunkist12]

In all honesty I've been blindsided, I never saw this coming. We were happy or so I thought. Time together was hard as I have children but made time for him/us. He's the type that's always overly affectionate, he's known as the good guy. Oh, we also work in the same building. Up until a few days ago he was giving me the same 'I love You' ' I miss You' then calls me straight after work and says I want to break up and gives some lame excuse that it's about being on 2 separate paths in life. When I pushed him further, he told me he's been texting another women from work and is breaking up a 2 year relationship for her. I'm broken, I'm dreading work and seeing him/her together. I know I will and it will hurt like a dagger through the heart. My question Is, how do I work with him and see him in his new relationship so soon? A part of me just wants to leave work but I know that's stupid. I'm trying to be the bigger the person, but honestly I'm crushed he could betray me and find someone better.

It honestly isn't that she's better than you. I've been there.Hold your head up high. You will come out of this so much stronger. Could you take a few vacation days off work to give yourself space for a few days?

A cheating man is honestly no prize.

I feel like I'm to blame and I should have given him more attention. I told him from the start I had kids and they come first. ... He was always so amazing and said I was a fantastic mum & person, I believed the lying piece of shit. He was dead right. Unfortunately he doesn't yet have the maturity to have a relationship with someone who isn't building their life entirely around worshiping him.

I think you're right to delete his number. Many years hence, you will feel better about yourself if you make a clean break.

Reading back my texts from last night I sound like a lunatic. ' I miss You I want to talk this out' #2 'why won't you give me that explanation and closure instead of dumping me over a phone call?' #3 ' you're a liar, cheat and a piece of shit #4 ' if you don't want me I don't want you and when you come to your senses I won't be here' how embarrassing! I sound like I'm begging I'm truly mortified

Please also delete his number and remove him from everything including facebook/ instagram etc. Go no contact. He doesn't deserve your time anymore. The first few days are the toughest, but it honestly gets less harder. You need space from him to sort out your head.

And a big well done for putting your children first!

Awwwww im so sorry hunny how sucky!!!!!!! I agree with everyone else though! delete his number, he's not worth your time! Your going to be hurting and upset just now but just remember that the roles will be reversed soon enough when he realises what he's done and its too late because you have moved on! its going to be hard working in the same building but you will get through it!!! he's only a man and your worth 1000 of him!!! xx

Don't even worry about sounding like a lunatic and all your texts - you loved him, it's totally normal. Just get it out of your system and delete the number and do not contact ever again. He will probably be confused if you stop messaging and wonder why! He's honestly not worth the time and after this you don't even want him back!

He sounds like a serial " faller in lover" who gets off on on romance all all the adreneline it brings, they usually are all overly affectionate, get involved very quickly and are always declaring their love.
Unfortunately they are not very constant and when someone new and "exciting" grabs their attention they move on rapidly.
I think in the long run OP you will realise that you are well out of it. Look after yourself, take time, and do not let this affect your career , fake it till you make it.

It sucks. No advice, but my partners ex works with me, complete fluke. But she's a nightmare. Maintain a high head and come out on top. He's a fucktard on two counts for being so thoughtless, twice.

Please delete his number, book a holiday if you can with a girlfriend. Somewhere sunny and if you can't find a babysitter then take the dc. You need a break from work to get yourself together.

Come back tanned, relaxed and ready for whatever happens next.

Don't forget you are also attractive and lovely and can go out and have some fun. Leave them to it.

He will leave the OH for sure in a few months/years so just rest assured what comes around goes around. Be happy you owe to yourself and kids.

Ow not oh!

YY second the suggestion from @almondcroissantplease to get a new hairdo - I had mine cut quite short so that I looked very different. Everyone told me how good it looked (whether true or otherwise..!) which helped my self-confidence no end.
Oh, and definitely delete his number - if you want to get it all out, buy a notebook and write in it every night...then one day, you'll read it back, shudder - and burn it

Definitely delete his number and absolutely no communication with him from now on whatsoever! Delete from all social media accounts too and remove him from email contact lists etc.

And yes to making a real effort with your appearance - I did this after breaking up with an ex and it gave me a big confidence boost.

OP sorry to hear. Delete his number and sob all day if you want. Plan some activities to do eg go out with girlfriends or watch comedy series at home. treat yourself, get a new hair do, nails whatever, just wash him like grime out of your hair.

Cactus - Ouch!

Hi Sunkist12,

You must put this behind you for the following reasons:

1. Although you invested a lot of time in the relationship, you could have invested more, so its better to find out now rather than later.

1. It's worth your life being ruined / you being depressed over the actions of an immature individual. So you can only move on. The sooner you realise this the better.

1. You may end up meeting Mr. Wonderful because of this. New doors will open, and one day it may all have been for the best. Its how you move on that matters. Put it all behind you.

1. Life is tough. Lower your expectations, and make the most of it, while you still can.

To help put this behind you, make sure you don't spend too much time alone, and spend as much time with your closest friends / family to take your mind off it more.

Regards,

Happiestparent

You're all right and I'm honestly dreading seeing him at work tomorrow. I know I'll catch him outside giving the new lady some tlc. Abit of a back story to him is that he's a few years younger than me and he hardly had any experience with women and relationships. Was safe to say I was his first real relationship as such. He's late twenties I'm early thirties. He was always so kind, respectful first to say sorry type! So this behaviour has come totally out of nowhere.

He would be the type to text during the night when I'm fast asleep and say love you so I'd read it when I woke up. Urgh what am I doing, i need to give my head a shake 😣

Yes do delete his number. Write what you're feeling down in a notebook, get it out, but h never sees it.

You put what you could in, it wasn't a case of you not doing enough, it was a case of him being that bit more needy. My ex couldn't cope with my job and hobby that takes a lot of time, whereas my husband can. You just have to find someone that fits with you and doesn't make you feel bad for what you've got going on in your life.

Try and be kind to yourself. Surround yourself with friends and family that care about you. Have colleagues you can trust around you at work if you can. Keep as stum about it as you can - let people gossip about him, not how upset you are..

Time will heal this, you've got to go through the shock and hurt first.

Delete his number. Delete all your text history between the two of you. Block him on social media. Honestly if I were you - I'd start looking for a new (better) job - unless you love the one you have now!

I agree that it's extremely unlikely she has anything that you don't, besides newness. He'll probably trade her in anyway.

I know it hurts, I know it feels like your heart hurts. Most of the damage will have been done to your confidence though - nothing physical, you will survive this. Work on your confidence, whatever works for you - exercise, banging heels, hair cut, makeover... I have found that getting dressed up to the nines and having a girly drink and finding some strangers to dance with, it's good for the ego lol

I’m really sorry. In time you’ll see you deserve to be with someone who is so quick to change their mind. Does not bode well at all for his future gf.

In the meantime go NC for at least 1 month. Preferably 3. It hurts like hell around week 2 to 4. But it really gets your head out of him and gives you back your life.

And the bonus is it makes your Ex regret leaving you! They expect you to be a drivelling mess. Expect to be friends. When you go NC you take back the power.

If he has done this to you then he’s not the person that you thought he was. He’s not the person he portrayed himself to be. Sounds like he’s a devious liar. Remind yourself of that when ur feeling down.

So sorry you're having to go through this. The work situation makes it doubly hard for you. But as others have said, you will survive this. I had a situation once where I finished acrimoniously with someone and then he reappeared a few years later as a senior manager at our workplace. I know people were gagging for there to be drama but they were disappointed - we both plastered smiles on our faces and were civil to each other. Anything else would have been career suicide and it also disappointed some small-minded colleagues. You obviously don't have the luxury of time to get over what has happened, but glam yourself up and hold your head high. You deserve so much better. Also when people get together in such a messy way it doesn't bode well for a long term relationship. He may well live to regret what he has done to you.

Agree with all the posts and she’s no better then you love she’s just a new conquest. He will probably leave her too.

Mourn what you thought you had but don’t kid yourself he was a catch, he clearly wasn’t and isn’t.

Could have written this myself 4 years ago, right down to the blindsiding.
Delete number, remove and block from all forms of social media. Only speak to him at work when absolutely necessary and only about work related things. And vow never to get involved with anyone from work ever again.

In my case, yup everyone at work was definitely gossiping but actually they were judging him not me. I found out that this was his pattern with women, line the next one up before you end the current relationship.

I took my power from never saying another word or looking at him again, each day you get through makes you feel stronger.

Wow, poot that is very similar. Was the new lady a work colleague also? How did you cope seeing them? You're made of strong stuff!