I've been dumped for another women

[Sunkist12]

In all honesty I've been blindsided, I never saw this coming. We were happy or so I thought. Time together was hard as I have children but made time for him/us. He's the type that's always overly affectionate, he's known as the good guy. Oh, we also work in the same building. Up until a few days ago he was giving me the same 'I love You' ' I miss You' then calls me straight after work and says I want to break up and gives some lame excuse that it's about being on 2 separate paths in life. When I pushed him further, he told me he's been texting another women from work and is breaking up a 2 year relationship for her. I'm broken, I'm dreading work and seeing him/her together. I know I will and it will hurt like a dagger through the heart. My question Is, how do I work with him and see him in his new relationship so soon? A part of me just wants to leave work but I know that's stupid. I'm trying to be the bigger the person, but honestly I'm crushed he could betray me and find someone better.

Oh yup she was! We’d been together for 3 years and the week before he was talking about engagement rings, that’s how much of a blindside I had.

Seeing them together? Oh it’s brutal but I held my head high, gritted my teeth and walked straight past them. There was a lot of crying in the car on the way home for the first couple of weeks though. I found my peace with it by thinking that actually I didn’t want to be with someone who could hide that much of themselves that well.

He sounds like an absolute sack of shit! Thanks for sharing that with me

Oh yep,he’s now known as my lucky escape! Start thinking of yours like that, it does make it a lot easier.

I just kept reminding myself that he wasn’t the person I thought he was. And you don’t want to be with someone who is capable of what he’s done.

You're right! The reason I'm so blindsided was because until the day before everything was 100% normal and then like a light switch it all changed. He didn't have rep for this kind of behaviour and work colleagues would describe him as shy, kind and abit of a loner.

And vow never to get involved with anyone from work ever again

I'm glad I did (married over 3 decades...)

Not an easy path to tread but it can work

Good luck Sunkist. Hard at the time but hopefully you will heal in the not too distant future

Oh my goodness... it's awful enough to find out there's someone else. But I can never understand why people shit where they eat. Work will be agonizing, it's undoubtedly true. This will be as tough as it gets. But you will get through it, absolutely.
Bite your own hand off- don't text. Just don't. Texting him won't change a thing and no, it doesn't make YOU look weak or desperate (you're allowed to be anyway!) but it will make you FEEL weak and badly about yourself. So for your own sense of self worth, do not contact this man again.
I predict the new relationship will end in tears. And then again, it may not. It has nothing to do with her being better or more amazing than you. It's not that you are less and she is more. It's that he's a non-committal prick who will uproot on her at some point and do the same thing again. I bet he has a history of this. The way he has broken up with you tells us everything about him.
Put your game face on. Smile and keep looking radiant at work.
Cry, scream, grieve, fall apart everywhere else. But at work, turn on the bright lights.

This will be tough. But you can go through this and come out the other side in tact.
I don't know... I'm cynical. The older I get the more I think: Men, they suck.

Vanguard, reading that put a smile on my face. Tomorrow will be tough and no doubt I'll breakdown into a million pieces, but I wont show it while he's around.

Oh my god you dated one of my exes. Shy, quiet, ‘such a nice guy’ live bombing me, telling me I was beautiful and a princess, he wanted to get married to me. Then BAM one day he just switched and broke it off. No other woman luckily. I was bereft, he wouldn’t answer the one question I had ‘why?’ I had to see him every day and it killed me. I moved jobs then eventually picked up my broken heart and i’m Getting married in 12 days to a better man. Less lovey dovey but stable, funny, romantic and I can’t see past my DP.

You will heal, you will go on but it will be bloody hard and painful. It’s like a bereavement so treat it like that. Your relationship died and you need to grieve.

Oh and the first time he had to speak to me in a professional capacity, I crossed my arms, raised one eyebrow and looked him up and down as if I wondered what the hell I ever saw in him. Although I was very polite and professional (I may also have told the office gossip when she was drunk that he had a tiny knob and a hairy back) juvenile but it made me smile especially as he was snarling all over a new girl which seemed to be aimed at making me jealous,

That sounds awful fluff but i guess now you couldn't be happier and congratulations!! I'm not going to lie, I'm having visions of pushing him/her down a multiple flight of stairs.

Haha, that's hilarious!!! I just can't wsit for the day I actually don't think of him. Tomorrow will be the worst and I'm half thinking not to show up. I've been reading advice blogs & alot of them saying cold turkey not seeing/speaking is for the best. But that's pretty impossible right now.

I'm having visions of pushing him/her down a multiple flight of stairs.

And that's putting it mildly!

Oh goodness OP, if you can pull a sick day tomorrow, I absolutely would. This is a shock. It is indeed a bereavement.

Aw I just want them give you a hug. I know how hard it is, itreally fucking hurts and you miss them since despite what they did. I am happy now (it was almost 14 years ago). I found it hard because he seemed so into me and then like a switch being flicked felt nothing. I was so hurt and embarrassed by it but I put on the shiny happy front. All you can do is act disinterested in him completely. You will come out the other side I promise.

What is it with these men? I say 'men' but I'm not sure if the term applies here! Sorry OP he is a real tool!

I've had similar blindsiding here, but I was younger so no commitments/kids etc. One day all lovey dovey and talking about spending our lifetimes together, favourite kids names etc.

Next day 'I love you and I want to have children with you and to marry you one day, but I want go on a break'. (I had no words to reply to this, and it still strikes me as a really odd thing to have said!)

The day after I saw him in person (by chance) with another girl, (who had been introduced to us a couple of weeks before, not that I thought anything of it). Of course when I then asked WTF was going on, he said that he wanted to end things for good, and that he was moving on...

As others have said, take your time to grieve, and try to hold your head high at work. You are the better person and you will find your match - he obviously wasn't it and you deserve so much better! Unfortunately there are people like this in the world, but not all men are like this! Be as bitter as you like for the foreseeable future too! And delete his number/social media etc.!