Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

46 year old woman .....dating 24 year old guy

84 replies

Blondiegirl2 · 24/03/2018 21:48

What would you make of this? I've just found out, that my friend is dating a guy younger than her own son. She's 46. He's 24.

I do know it's none of my business (of course), but I'm wondering what a woman of 46 would see in a 24 year old (apart from the sex)?

I'm the same age as her, and my son is a similar age to the boyfriend, so it all seems a bit yukky to me.

OP posts:
letsdolunch321 · 25/03/2018 09:06

Good luck to them Wink

Camiila · 25/03/2018 09:10

so what? The people I connect to best and love most in my life rarely happen to fall into the same age bracket. In fact age is exactly NOT what defines a person

TeachesOfPeaches · 25/03/2018 09:13

My little sister is married to a man 26 years older than her and they got together when she was 22. No idea what they talk about

seizethecuttlefish · 25/03/2018 09:13

When I was 23, my boyfriend was 48 and talking about early retirement. He was older than my dad. If they're happy, why not? Age is a man made concept. Neither are children, let them adult in peace.

Alabama3 · 25/03/2018 09:26

it's a bit ew because the younger one is the age of a potential child

in the real world, so what they're not hurting anyone

it's less than the age difference between Michael Douglas and Catherine zeta Jones (25 years)

MiniTheMinx · 25/03/2018 09:29

I'm with Emboo19 I think I don't have any issue with this if she had no children or very young children. I just feel it's a bit inappropriate to make your own son feel a bit odd. I know my eldest son would struggle with this. I'm very close to him. It would seem all a bit perverse.

FizzyGreenWater · 25/03/2018 10:25

For every 46 year old who had kids young and may have a son of the same age, there are several who did it the other way around and have kids in nursery/reception, just like quite a number of 24 year olds.

I'm a bit older than 46 and have a number of friends who are late 20s, courtesy of having kids later.

It's not about age, but life stages. 24 is adult. That's it really.

Annanentity · 25/03/2018 10:59

"I'm wondering what a woman of 46 would see in a 24 year old (apart from the sex)?"

Some 24 year olds can be really interesting and intelligent. I have a few online friends that age and really enjoy their company ( we don't talk about computer games and football, usually politics, religion, philosophy, world affairs) and they respect my opinion on their career and life decisions as an older woman which is a refreshing change as in real life a lot of 40 plus women complain of feeling invisible. Online you often start talking before someone knows your age, gender, race, etc so it's easier to talk to people who might never approach you in real life ( where we seem to naturally segregate ourselves along various demographics).

RainyApril · 25/03/2018 11:10

It does seem like a rather sweeping generalisation to assume that all people in their 20s are immature, or can't have interesting conversations, or don't have thoughtful opinions. It's really not true.

No doubt you could meet someone that age and find that they're still living a student lifestyle, preoccupied with partying, no common interests at all.

But then also entirely possible to chat with someone that age and find that you've got similar values, a shared sense of humour and that you like lots of the same things.

I dislike society sneering at older people if they don't conform or behave in the expected way.

gingergenius · 25/03/2018 11:49

When I was 22 my mum was with someone 6 months younger than me. I never resented their relationship but I did resent the fact that he competed with me for her attention. He won and it was very difficult.

That said, I think if they are two consenting adults and they get on who is to judge? I have recent gone back to uni and I'm 48 and old enough to be my classmates' mum.

Doesn't mean we can't connect and have a laugh/enjoy each other's company. All depends on the individuals involved.

Magpiemagpie · 25/03/2018 13:03

I'm mid 40s and my son is 24 so for me it's very eww , it would be like dating my son or his friends
It just wouldn't feel right to me at all would feel pretty yuck to be perfectly honest

upsideup · 25/03/2018 13:13

When I was 24 I was dating a 45 year old guy, where the 'eww'?
The only reason we broke up is because I wanted children, we were together 8 years, both happy consenting adults.

RainyApril · 25/03/2018 13:43

It would be like dating my son or one of his friends

I don't understand this at all. Fancying one person who happens to be in their 20s doesn't mean you fancy everyone in their 20s.

Also, you may have seen your son's friends growing up and therefore see them in an entirely different light.

Surely we all have groups of people that we don't think about in even a remotely romantic way, completely no-go. I'm thinking about family members, husbands of friends, friends of our own adult dc.

I have never ever had even the remotest inkling of attraction to any of my dc's friends, but I wouldn't rule out meeting someone of a similar age in a social situation and finding them attractive.

GeorgeTheHippo · 25/03/2018 13:45

"Age is a man made concept"

Except it isn't, is it. It's a fact.

MysweetAudrina · 25/03/2018 13:53

For those that say it would be like dating their son that's pure shite. Surely every time your sons father wants sex with you, you don't say oh no I couldn't you look too like our son so it would be wrong. What about hair or eye colour, or profession or is age your only identifier.

SandyY2K · 25/03/2018 13:58

She must be in pretty good shape for him to be interested. Not something I'd be interested in...unless as a casual thing.

blackeyes72 · 25/03/2018 14:04

In my experience 20S guys do have a certain attraction to much older women, I am shocked at this happening to me at work..I think it's not that dissimilar to girls in their 20S finding men in their 40S fascinating.

It never crossed my mind whether I would date someone that age, I don't think o would, nothing to do with my children as they are younger, more different life stages.. But I certainly wouldn't judge someone in that situation.

Alabama3 · 25/03/2018 15:56

When I was 24 I was dating a 45 year old guy, where the 'eww'? still there... or did you miss that ?

bit ew, in the same way if a 46yr old man was dating a 24yr old woman...

RainyApril · 25/03/2018 15:59

But why Alabama, why can't a 24yo woman fall in love with a guy in his 40s?

Do you think the 24yo is wrong for fancying a wrinkly body, or the 45yo is wrong for fancying a woman in her 20s? Both?

Crispbutty · 25/03/2018 16:05

I’m 49 and DP is 35. We’ve been together 4 years. I had reservations at the start about our age gap but it’s not something that had ever caused us any problems as we share the same interests and love our life together. I can’t imagine being with someone over 20 years younger than me though.

Camiila · 25/03/2018 16:15

Crispbutty, does he have children?

Alabama3 · 25/03/2018 16:29

i'm not saying they cant, but i'm not interested in the things a 20-something is, i'm late 40s - i'm thinking of winding down soon, not starting something

i said its a 'bit ew' but if thats what they want then good luck to them - not my business

ponyprincess · 25/03/2018 16:39

' but he is young enough to be her son"...
Umm he is not!!
Some people don't care about weight or height or etc, and some do, so why is age different of both are happy?

Crispbutty · 25/03/2018 16:41

Camilia, yes he does, I don’t sadly.

Crispbutty · 25/03/2018 16:42

“' but he is young enough to be her son"...
Umm he is not”

That age gap is 22 years so of course he is!