I'd really like some advice and support here, even though I know I don't deserve it and lots of people will want to flame me.
I'm a married man (5 yrs), with one DC, and I had a 6 month affair with another woman that started last year. The other woman is single, says she loves me, and to be honest I think I love her too.... or I'm at least infatuated with her. I ended our affair a few weeks ago and told her that I was going to work on saving my marriage, but I just can't get her out of my mind. I constantly think about her and want to contact her all the time (but I haven't). I've been waiting for things to get better with time but they don't seem to be.
My wife doesn't know and I've decided not to tell her. I know this is controversial and some people will think I should - but if I can resolve all this without causing her pain that seems the best option.
I've not had sex with the OW. We've kissed and been intimate but this affair wasn't about the sex for me. I felt a deep emotional connection with her, and just enjoyed being with her or talking to her. I'm not claiming this is any better (it's not), but I just wanted to provide some context that this wasn't about purely physical stuff.
I want to try and save my marriage, not least for my DC. In hindsight I let things with my wife go stale and we had a passionless marriage. Having a child a few years ago no doubt changed the dynamic of our relationship, and I think we both got lazy and became more like housemates than lovers. The disengagement (on my part) was very gradual and I didn't even realise it was happening until it was too late. The romantic love in our marriage had evaporated and this is what I think the OW provided.
There are of course loads more details in all this that I won't go into in the interests of keeping this post short. My main question is: How do I move on? There must be others out there who have been through similar. Does this get easier or do you always think about your affair partner? Is it possible to save the marriage or have a ruined things?
I'm sorry to all those who have been on the receiving end of affairs, and I really don't want to come across as insensitive. I know what I've done is very wrong and I don't deserve (nor am I looking for) any sympathy. I've made a big mistake and now am in a mess of my own making. Just really want to find my way out of it.