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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sex after OLD & ghosting: show the other cheek or blank him?

79 replies

littlepill · 14/03/2018 05:39

A few moths ago, I met a guy online and we emailed for a few weeks. We hit it off straight away. He lived quite far but we met up, nice chemistry, he kissed me at the end of the date.

Over emails he explained he didn’t have the emotional capacity to get (emotionally) close to anyone, despite the obvious spark. However, he still wanted to meet again, which we did.

Great second date. It led to sex, which was fabulous. Spent night together, loads more sex. Given his emails, I kind of knew it was unlikely to lead to a relationship, but thought we might at least continue to be friends. I specifically asked him not to ghost me.

He continued to communicate for a few days after and then, guess what? Yup, no contact.

I’m over it - it’s his problem and not mine. I doubt there was anyone else. He was hardly ever on the site and his membership was coming to an end. I don’t think he blocked me, I think he was genuine. He did tell me about his problems with emotional intimacy and I still agreed to sex anyway. I am pretty detached, emotionally, myself.

My question is: it’s his birthday soon. During our emailing we had a lot of banter over when his birthday was, all jokey kind of stuff. Do I email a one liner to say HB, or shall I continue to ignore him?

I kind of want to show my kind side - “you have been a shit but hey, I still remembered your birthday”

but another part of me wants him to think he has lost the privilege of being in my headspace.

Maybe should mention I have ASD so get this stuff wrong all the time.

OP posts:
ClaryFray · 17/03/2018 09:55

Don't!

Or he'll come back cause he thinks he can score another bunk up.

springydaff · 17/03/2018 11:23

Hang on, what does this mean? Re

I was quite boundaries the day after and told him to email me only when he had something more creative to say because I was bored by some of the things he kept bringing up.

And he ghosted you after you sent him that?

Not surprising tbh.

blahdeblah04 · 17/03/2018 15:47

His name doesn't begin with M and his birthday is 3rd April by any chance? This rings a few bells with me.

Mind you from what I read on here, there are loads of men like this. 🙄

Amazonfromkent · 20/05/2018 11:20

Was his birthday on 15 March by chance...

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