Partner just battered me in front of our 3 yr old

[Dolphin321]

Dont know why im writing this as i already know answer but i am often
and keep taking this joke back
Tonight i had a go at my partner because he doesnt kiss me. I confronted him about his lack of love for me . Of course im.an idiot because hes hit me plenty times before.
As i was talking to him he was getting more and more annoyed and kept throwing my daughters toys at me. Quite hard. It was for a reaction and it worked. I chucked a plastic toy at him which bounced off him and just touched my daughters foot. I know i shouldnt have reacted but he was goading me and it worked
He then flew accross the room and held me up against the wall slapping me hard accross the head and face whilst shouting at me..i tried to fight him off me so he battered me around the head some more then held me down on my daughter's bed bruising my arms then held his hand over my mouth to point i couldnt breathe. Then he let go and kicked me in my leg. My poor child was screaming crying and trying to pull him off me. He then said it was my fault and went in.the kitchen to eat strawberries in an apparent attempt to normalise the situation and so he wouldnt have to leave as i was repeatedly asking for my house keys back
Hes done this b4 and says its my fault as i nag and go on
.i do go on and on when im.upset so in the past ive felt as if i deserve it somehow. I had implants due to a breast deformity and he constantly calls me fake during arguments and calls my mother names. We was together 8 years when i had his child he left me 4 another woman 3 months later..she dumped him and done him for harassment 4 constantly messaging her asking her back and like a dumb fool i took him back after she took him.to court. Hes now on probation doing a DV course called building better relationships. Which clearly hasnt helped. What response am.i expecting? I don't know. Most times he can be very charming and help with money and around the house, planning holiday with me and our daughter and being funny. Not romantic though and its ok. But he intermittently does this. Ive thrown him out but am reluctant to call police as social services get involved. He is gonna come back tonight most likely saying he is truly sorry and hes under stress ect and he is freezing cold sleeping in his car and shivering which is why i let him back.in last time as didnt want him telling his friends ive made him.sleep in his car when they dont knoe whats happened. .im at a loss as to how dumb i am

How are you Dolphin? You have been very brave. Give that beautiful little girl of yours a big cuddle and if you ever feel weak then remember her face when it happened. Please keep posting, there are so many people here who have lived through DV and come out of the side, myself included. Day by day, wekl by week, month by month I promise you it will get easier.

Wellthisisshit
That is one of the most amazing posts I have ever read. I hope you have found happiness.flowers

^this

Well done for taking that next step OP.
I echo what others say, SS just want to know you are safeguarding your daughter.

One day you will realise just how strong you have been

wellthisisshit just WOW! I hope you are ok now.

dolphin the police and SS will help you, please keep your daughter safe, she has seen enough. Dont let her grow up like this.

You're doing so well Dolphin.

Your post gave me goosebumps wellthisisshit, what an incredibly brave and inspirational woman you are.

Well done OP, what a nightmare for you. Wishing you all the best, it must be so tough.

Dolphin
I'm a social worker. It's MUCH worse when mums conceal and minimise assaults than if they get help and kick the abuser out. Even if it's happened before this is still the right thing to do.
I promise you that social workers can't just take your dd from you and as long as you keep this guy miles away from you and her then the courts can't either.
Don't be scared of social workers, support a prosecution and be honest with them.

Most times he can be very charming and help with money and around the house, planning holiday with me and our daughter and being funny. Not romantic though and its ok.

OP, I'm so sorry and I'm going to say something now which you'll hate to hear but you must take heed - this man doesn't love you. When this man is "charming" he is putting on an act to ensure that you stay put, he is a manipulative, pathetic loser who is so uncertain of himself that he hits the mother of his child. This man hurt you in front of your 3 year old daughter and is so strong that the next time he hits you, or attacks you (and there will be a next time) he may kill you. Just like everybody else has said - you MUST call the police. If this was a stranger and they attacked you in the street you would call the police and report the assault, this incident is more personal, more intimate and I understand your reluctance to get them involved as SS will become involved but they will be on your side, you are not to blame for this man's violence but you do need to take responsibility for yourself and for your daughter. Stay strong, I'm so sorry this has happened to you, it will get better you just have to be brave.

You're so brave

Dolphin, you are amazing.
Well done for taking the first steps to secure your future.

I wanted to give you hope from 4 years down the line.

My son was 6 months old when my EXH strangled me, again, and I decided that enough was enough.

I’m going to be honest here,

I didn’t report it. I didn’t want him to lose his job or reputation and I think I wanted to minimise what had happened.

He told me he loved me and he’d change and I wanted to believe him so badly that it took me a long time even after moving out to well and truly cut ties.

I have had counselling now and put boundaries in place and can absolutely see ex for the abusive prick he is, following the abusers script.

Have a read of Lundy Bancroft, it will really help you.

I’m glad you reported this, OP

Last year my ex took me to court for joint custody of our son.

All the police reports I had were after the fog had lifted - times when he’d harassed me by texting 30 times a day, threatening to kill me, calling me a whore during handovers.

If I’d have reported the abuse at the time I might have been more able to protect my son from the contact with his father.

He didn’t get joint custody but he did get more than I was comfortable with (every other weekend)

However, we now have a non molestation order, live with order for my son, no handovers done by him and he is not allowed in my road.

I recently bought a house with my lovely, kind, amazing fiancé and life is so, so good.

Congratulations on the rest of your life x